# Things you assumed would happen in life, based on sitcoms/movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 19, 2015, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137 "2015-10-19T13:58:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SykoSkotty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SykoSkotty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SykoSkotty)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/21 "2015-10-19T16:14:38Z")
I thought everyone’s apartment and house were all designed exactly the same, with an entry door either on the left or right, a couch facing an invisible wall, a staircase or doorway to another room directly behind said couch, a walkway directly behind said couch, a kitchen off to the side with a table facing an invisible wall… ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/22 "2015-10-19T16:18:46Z")
Most kitchens have a swinging door. I’ve never seen one in my life like that, except in restaurants. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/23 "2015-10-19T16:31:56Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I sure did think quicksand was going to be a bigger problem in my life than it has been to date. Same with “Stop Drop and Roll.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/24 "2015-10-19T16:33:58Z")
You can sit around eating, drinking and not exercising and still not get fat and/or drunk On the rare times that you make a new friend, they will immediately fit into your little band of old friends (Big Bang, anyone?) ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/25 "2015-10-19T16:46:38Z")
Never once did my mother clean the house in heels and pearls like June Cleaver. And “meeting cute” stories really don’t feel that way when they’re going on. They just are regular, old life and messy. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/26 "2015-10-19T16:47:26Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Just this past Saturday I was at my (deserted) office building, decorating for Halloween. Creepy is putting it mildly. After a few hours of strange sounds, lights going on and off and my imagination running wild, I really did half expect to have an encounter with an Asian ghost girl:eek: It was surreal. Four meddling teenagers and a big dog would’ve solved that mystery in less than a half-hour! ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/27 "2015-10-19T16:53:31Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > I received a phone call one weekday morning about twenty years ago to let me know that my sister-in-law was in labor with their first kid. So I drove an hour or more directly to the hospital. Television shows and movies like Ron Howard’s _Parenthood_ led me to believe that the relatives all waited at the hospital for the baby to arrive. But I was the only one who waited all day for the baby to be born, and everyone else stayed home until an hour or more after he was born. (They had an advantage in that they mostly lived within ten or fifteen minutes of the hospital.) Similarly, I always thought that women went from 0 to “I need to get to the hospital right now!” I remember hearing about my sister in law having contractions and thinking “Why isn’t she in a hospital?” > [@Soylent\_Juicy](#): > > Same with “Stop Drop and Roll.” Watch YouTube. There’s plenty of idiots who get lit on fire and think the best solution is to run around screaming. ---
**Author:** ![MrAtoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MrAtoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAtoz)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/28 "2015-10-19T17:07:34Z")
> [@74westy](#): > > I thought if I stalked a woman she’d eventually fall in love with me. I don’t know if I flat-out “stalked” anyone–I sure hope not. But my early romantic life was a lot less successful than it might have been because I got far too many of my ideas about romantic behavior from movies and TV shows. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/29 "2015-10-19T17:21:07Z")
There is a universal law that mandates every grocery bag ever used will contain stalks of celery and a French baguette. Foreigners (up to and including space aliens) actually prefer to speak English when they’re alone. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/30 "2015-10-19T17:48:31Z")
Nothing bad can happen to me if there is no dramatic music in the background. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/31 "2015-10-19T18:04:27Z")
I thought when I grew up I would have to buy etchings, because that’s how you got women to come back to your swinging bachelor pad. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/32 "2015-10-19T18:10:07Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > Similarly, I always thought that women went from 0 to “I need to get to the hospital right now!” I remember hearing about my sister in law having contractions and thinking “Why isn’t she in a hospital?” LOL! Same here. When we had our first child, my wife went into labor at something like 2 or 3 AM. I was damn-near in a blind panic getting her to the hospital (which is about 3 miles away). The baby arrived at 5:45 that _evening._ ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/33 "2015-10-19T18:12:46Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I sure did think quicksand was going to be a bigger problem in my life than it has been to date. This made me laugh _hard_. Well done. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/34 "2015-10-19T18:16:55Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > There is a universal law that mandates every grocery bag ever used will contain stalks of celery and a French baguette. …and grocery stores only give out paper bags. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a plastic grocery bag on TV and I’ve never had my groceries packed in a paper bag in real life. > [@BubbaDog](#): > > If you joined a band you would all have to live together in some house like the Beatles or the Monkees. I still think that happens. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/35 "2015-10-19T18:24:01Z")
I pictured work as a lot less transient. I thought it would be like Mary Tyler Moore, where there’s The Boss and the same people sitting at the same desks doing the same jobs for years at a time, except maybe once a year somebody would leave and a New Person would come in and it would be a Big Deal. It took me about a week to realize that work groups were about as stable as the population of a departure gate at the airport. ---
**Author:** ![installLSC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/54ee81/32.png) [@installLSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/installLSC)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/36 "2015-10-19T18:26:06Z")
That someday girls would ask you out to a Sadie Hawkins dance. Did those things _ever_ exist in real life? ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/37 "2015-10-19T18:36:48Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > Similarly, I always thought that women went from 0 to “I need to get to the hospital right now!” I remember hearing about my sister in law having contractions and thinking “Why isn’t she in a hospital?” And all babies are born in stuck elevators or cars stuck in traffic. When my wife was in labor the only elevator involved was on the way to the birthing room. She was accompanied by a nurse while I finished the paperwork, so if it got stuck it was the nurse’s problem. And it had to have been stuck for a very long time to be an issue. ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/38 "2015-10-19T18:43:19Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > And every house/apartment had a bar in it. And every office also has a bar in it (or at least a bottle in the bottom drawer, that the boss would pull out along with two glasses and expect you to partake because he’s having a personal problem but doesn’t want to really talk about, I’m talking about you Mr. Grant!) ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/39 "2015-10-19T18:44:42Z")
> [@installLSC](#): > > That someday girls would ask you out to a Sadie Hawkins dance. Did those things _ever_ exist in real life? My High School had one every year. 1970s Maryland. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/40 "2015-10-19T18:53:05Z")
> [@installLSC](#): > > That someday girls would ask you out to a Sadie Hawkins dance. Did those things _ever_ exist in real life? > [@Procrustus](#): > > My High School had one every year. 1970s Maryland. There’s a thread about that on here somewhere and, IIRC, there were quite a few people who said they had one. I’m too lazy to look for it though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137.md?page=3)