# Things you assumed would happen in life, based on sitcoms/movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 19, 2015, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137 "2015-10-19T13:58:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/41 "2015-10-19T18:56:51Z")
I assumed that I would get married right after I graduated from college and have three kids. In actuality, I did not marry until I was 32, and I have zero kids. Lots of pets, though. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/42 "2015-10-19T19:14:55Z")
I spent too much time worrying about getting hazed when I got to high school. We don’t have “homecoming” either. We got a prom, but I quit school before I got to go to one. I also thought football games would be way more important than they turned out to be and that cheerleaders would be way more popular than they turned out to be. I also thought that college would be full of sororities and fraternities and their various shenanigans - nope. Maybe in Toronto universities, but not in this one-horse college town. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/43 "2015-10-19T19:54:22Z")
My father told a hair-raising story of this sort. An American, he arrived in Europe in 1944, serving in the infantry. He was inexperienced, but learned fast. At one point, his mortar squad came under heavy rifle fire while passing a cemetery. He and his buddies ducked behind convenient granite headstones. Crack. A single steel-jacketed rifle bullet split the granite, toppling the headstone in front of my dad, leaving him exposed to his enemies, and showering the area with stone splinters. One by one, every monument they tried to use as cover was smashed, and they fled the cemetery. “Hollywood LIED to me!” my father huffed, decades later. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/44 "2015-10-19T19:55:56Z")
Any wall or fence can be scaled by anyone if they really try, and every jump is not that high/far. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/45 "2015-10-19T20:17:07Z")
From watching sitcoms I grew up thinking that saying funny insulting zingers to everyone was how to be popular and successful. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/46 "2015-10-19T20:51:14Z")
Madame P. is convinced that anyone who wakes up and is not immediately bright-eyed and bushytailed and ready to start the day has seen to much TV where the people wander around half-catatonic. I respectfully disagree. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/47 "2015-10-19T21:01:45Z")
Having friends and neighbors just drop by unannounced, like they always seem to do on TV, seemed like an unquestionably good thing to me as a kid. And the more quirky and zany the guest, the better. Because that’s what leads to wacky fun times and laughter! ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/48 "2015-10-19T21:10:28Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > I thought adults would have friends who would pop over all the time unannounced and you’d do things together. I don’t know anyone who really does that. In past generations, some people did do that, especially in small towns. We had to grow up in a perpetually spit-shined house “in case somebody stops by”. Really. Here’s my contribution: Doctors inform patients’ families of a death or serious illness in a crowded hallway, or the parking lot. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/49 "2015-10-19T21:11:23Z")
I have some more. Your mother would throw herself into wedding planning! She would try to extend the guest list by 100. She would go along with you when you looked at wedding gowns, and bridesmaid gowns. She would basically try to take over! She was a proper WASPY genteel type who always spoke wistfully, fondly, of her own wedding and wanted everything for you to be Just So. On The Big Day, your father in a beautiful rented tux would stand with you at the back of the church holding your hand, bursting with pride, and saying, ‘here we go, Princess. I love you so much. You never looked more beautiful. That’s our cue! Ready?’ You would meet-cute your future husband. Or you would realize the dweeby guy you had put in the ‘friend zone’ was always there for you, loved you for who you were, and never ever let you down. It must be love! ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/50 "2015-10-19T21:25:46Z")
Watching Happy Days growing up I was convinced the way to get girls was to “act cool” like Fonzie. Talk to them? No. Smile? No. Be funny? No. Share with them? No. Compliment them? No. Just ignore them, act cool and the girls will come to you. F-you Fonzie! ---
**Author:** ![wellanuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@wellanuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wellanuff)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/51 "2015-10-19T21:41:49Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > …Coffee klatches. Home parties (Avon, home decor, Pampered Chef). We would all help each other out after a snowstorm, give each other rides in an emergency, exchange child care duties if needed, maybe even a block party in the summer! Hey, I’ll bring my 7-Layer Dip and Tostitos, and a case of Rolling Rock!.. Don’t despair! All of these things do happen in my neighborhood (that’s not meant as a brag…for example, I could take or leave our summer block party…) More than physical neighbors, though, most of these things flow from parents of our child’s classmates. Once your kid enters preschool or kindergarten (I’m assuming your kid hasn’t started school, because you mentioned a stroller), you will get to know some of the other parents (especially if you walk to/from school or at least wait outside the front door of the school for afternoon pickup…waiting in the car kills this opportunity to meet other parents. The setup/pickup procedure at your school might not allow this, though.) But once your kid has play dates you will form relationships with other parents, and the coffee, child care exchange, help in an emergency, etc. will just flow naturally. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/52 "2015-10-19T21:50:23Z")
If you didn’t have a date every Saturday night you would be a social misfit. Wait a second, maybe that explains a thing or two! > [@salinqmind](#): > > Ah, the wacky neighbors! I lived in an apartment building for a time and never once did a wacky neighbor let himself in, to hang out! 😛 When no wacky neighbor showed up didn’t you ever think it was up to you to let yourself into neighbors apartments, raid the fridge and help them solve their problems? > [@Icarus](#): > > From watching sitcoms I grew up thinking that saying funny insulting zingers to everyone was how to be popular and successful. So maybe my posting history on SDMB isn’t all my fault. I just saw too many sitcoms as a kid. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/53 "2015-10-19T21:50:33Z")
> [@JohnGalt](#): > > And every office also has a bar in it (or at least a bottle in the bottom drawer, that the boss would pull out along with two glasses and expect you to partake because he’s having a personal problem but doesn’t want to really talk about, I’m talking about you Mr. Grant!) When I became a newspaper editor, I quickly found many people wanted this myth to be true. So I kept a cheap bottle of rot gut in the bottom drawer. It came in handy a couple of times. Mind you, I’m not saying booze is an answer, but holding a quarter coffee cup of cheap whiskey and talking can help deal with a day of a lot of stuff. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/54 "2015-10-19T21:56:37Z")
I figured once I got to high school, boys would ask me on dates. Not quite hardly… ☹ I was nearly 20 and in the Navy before I went on my first date. Speaking of the Navy, I thought it would be like McHale’s Navy. OK, some was, but not a whole lot. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/55 "2015-10-19T22:18:48Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > There are a ton of things I thought would happen for sure based on TV–after all, would TV lie? Watching tons of Bewitched reruns as a kid, I totally assumed that when I got older, it would be normal to have the boss over for dinner regularly–and that if he didn’t like what we made, getting fired was a real possibility. Apparently, this used to be a thing in some areas. > **[Spinoff of the "people dropping in unannounced" thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=701735)** > > One of the posts reminded me of the Family Circus cartoons, which periodically have the boss at the dinner table. I’m not talking about the whole department going out and socializing, that kind of thing, but specifically having your boss and his... ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/56 "2015-10-19T22:31:19Z")
High school is a great time where you hang out with a big group of friends and the only problem is when a mean old teacher assigns too much work. Occasionally there might be a bully making trouble in your neighborhood, but if so eventually everyone will band together and send him running away as a coward. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/57 "2015-10-19T22:38:51Z")
We never ONCE had the ‘boss’ over ‘for dinner’. As a matter of fact, I never ONCE had a ‘dinner party’ where I cooked a roast, had Martha Stewart type munchies, exotic drinks, etc. Never once. We just didn’t have that kind of thing, and I know it goes on outside my little bubble. One neighbor did have us over for a cookout, he was a lot richer than we were and we hired his kids to do our yard work, so he probably pitied us more than anything. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/58 "2015-10-19T22:46:15Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > I have some more. > > Your mother would throw herself into wedding planning! She would try to extend the guest list by 100. She would go along with you when you looked at wedding gowns, and bridesmaid gowns. She would basically try to take over! She was a proper WASPY genteel type who always spoke wistfully, fondly, of her own wedding and wanted everything for you to be Just So. > > On The Big Day, your father in a beautiful rented tux would stand with you at the back of the church holding your hand, bursting with pride, and saying, ‘here we go, Princess. I love you so much. You never looked more beautiful. That’s our cue! Ready?’ > > You would meet-cute your future husband. Or you would realize the dweeby guy you had put in the ‘friend zone’ was always there for you, loved you for who you were, and never ever let you down. It must be love! That was pretty much my wedding only no church. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/59 "2015-10-19T23:03:14Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > High school is a great time where you hang out with a big group of friends and the only problem is when a mean old teacher assigns too much work. Occasionally there might be a bully making trouble in your neighborhood, but if so eventually everyone will band together and send him running away as a coward. And there’s tons of casual, consequence-free sex, unless you’re attending DeGrassi (Junior) High, in which case there are always dire, life-long consequences. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/60 "2015-10-19T23:06:09Z")
Pharmacists are all middle-aged or older white men who wear one of those Nehru-jacket type things. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137.md?page=4)