# Things you assumed would happen in life, based on sitcoms/movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 19, 2015, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137 "2015-10-19T13:58:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/61 "2015-10-19T23:39:52Z")
On workplace comedies (Mary Tyler Moore, Dick van Dyke, WKRP) whenever somebody got fired or quit, all the other people in the office would do madcap shit to get that somebody back. I’ve never once seen that happen in real life. The usual reaction instead was “Thank God. Dibs on his printer.” ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/62 "2015-10-19T23:55:28Z")
The average age to become a breakout author or popular fashion designer is 23. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/63 "2015-10-20T01:01:24Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Most kitchens have a swinging door. I’ve never seen one in my life like that, except in restaurants. I had one in one apartment. It was a pain in the ass. Or the face, more precisely, when someone would be coming out as you were trying to go in. We eventually got a doorstop to keep it permanently open. That same apartment came with a Whacky Neighbor. Also not all it’s cracked up to be, although she was fine entertainment for the first month or so. Then she just got really annoying, and we seriously contemplated a restraining order. Per the OP: I thought that getting drunk made you forget what you did. Not, like, getting blackout drunk is a thing that occasionally happens to severe alcoholics or binge drinkers on the verge of alcohol poisoning, but that getting a little tipsy would cause you to do regrettable things with strangers that you wouldn’t be able to remember in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/64 "2015-10-20T02:14:13Z")
I had the notion that overhearing just enough of a conversation to get a disastrously wrong impression would be a common thing in my life. But, I’m 56 years old and this has never once happened to me. I’m running out of time. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/65 "2015-10-20T14:24:22Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > It took me about a week to realize that work groups were about as stable as the population of a departure gate at the airport. I am so using this line. > [@Icarus](#): > > From watching sitcoms I grew up thinking that saying funny insulting zingers to everyone was how to be popular and successful. I still think this is true. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/66 "2015-10-20T15:25:48Z")
> [@wellanuff](#): > > Don’t despair! > > All of these things do happen in my neighborhood (that’s not meant as a brag…for example, I could take or leave our summer block party…) > > More than physical neighbors, though, most of these things flow from parents of our child’s classmates. Once your kid enters preschool or kindergarten (I’m assuming your kid hasn’t started school, because you mentioned a stroller), you will get to know some of the other parents (especially if you walk to/from school or at least wait outside the front door of the school for afternoon pickup…waiting in the car kills this opportunity to meet other parents. The setup/pickup procedure at your school might not allow this, though.) > > But once your kid has play dates you will form relationships with other parents, and the coffee, child care exchange, help in an emergency, etc. will just flow naturally. My sister got sick and tired of play dates. After awhile she felt like she was being an unpaid babysitter. As far as I know she never became friends with any of the parents. According to TV I was convinced that you are a total loser if you don’t move out of your parents house by the time your twenty. My sister claims this isn’t true but I’m still not really convinced. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/67 "2015-10-20T15:27:38Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > I had the notion that overhearing just enough of a conversation to get a disastrously wrong impression would be a common thing in my life. > > But, I’m 56 years old and this has never once happened to me. I’m running out of time. …Stu…dying…one month left… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/68 "2015-10-20T15:36:03Z")
That students go through every grade in elementary school, high school, and even college with the same group of students and even teachers! It took me about a week to realize that school groups were about as stable as the population of a departure gate at the airport. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/69 "2015-10-20T15:38:06Z")
[quote=“Aquadementia, post:52, topic:735137”] If you didn’t have a date every Saturday night you would be a social misfit. QUOTE] And to get a date you’d take out your little black book with dozens of names in it, all ranked by level of sluttiness. You’d then call one of them on Friday, see if she was busy tomorrow, and then tell her you’d pick her up at 8. But you wouldn’t tell her where you’d be going, so I have no idea how she’d know what to wear. ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/70 "2015-10-20T16:12:36Z")
As a kid I honestly thought that adult jobs just let you leave and arrive and come go as you pleased (obviously as long as you did the job). Characters on tv shows, even with mundane jobs, never seemed to have trouble getting time off, or needing to be somewhere else during the day. As a freshmen in high school, a club I was in was having a weekday pre-class breakfast at a restaurant downtown. My mom gave me a ride down and then went home to get ready for work. I was supposed to get a ride to school with a friend. My friend didn’t show up and everyone else’s cars were full, so I called my mom and asked her to come get me. My mom came down, picked me up and took me home and then headed across town to work–she was about a half-hour late. I remember feeling so bad years later when it came up that her boss was a dick and wrote her up for being late and made her fill out a vacation request form for the 30 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/71 "2015-10-20T18:38:54Z")
Every poker game will have a policeman among the card players who, as soon as he starts losing, will say, “I oughta bust the whole lot of you for gambling.” ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/72 "2015-10-20T18:47:19Z")
When I fell out of a tree I was climbing and broke my ankle, I was positive the family dog would ford rushing rivers, climb stone walls, dodge cars on the highway, and miraculously make her way back to my house and somehow communicate to my mother that I was in trouble. Alas, she just sat there on the ground by me and looked mournful. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/73 "2015-10-20T18:57:54Z")
I thought when I grew up and got a real job it would come with an annual Christmas bonus. And the bonus would be enough to buy an in-ground swimming pool. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/74 "2015-10-20T19:10:11Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > It took me about a week to realize that school groups were about as stable as the population of a departure gate at the airport. I see what you did there. I always thought that as soon as you grew up and got a job you could afford to move out into your own place with no problems. When I was 13 I saw my cousin who had moved in with her boyfriend and she was talking about how difficult it was. I was like “But don’t you have savings?” She then explained to me what “paycheque to paycheque” means. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/75 "2015-10-20T19:12:27Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > It took me about a week to realize that school groups were about as stable as the population of a departure gate at the airport. I watched _Wings_ and was convinced that the departure gate at the airport was a consistent, stable group that even had the same cab driver every day. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/76 "2015-10-20T19:34:20Z")
When someone broke into and tried to unsuccessfully hot-wire my friends car (something that presumably looked easier to the perpetrator in the movies than it was in real life). I assumed that when we called the police they would dust for prints and investigate, instead they simply recorded the incident and moved on to more important work. Also just a couple of days ago my wife and I were discussing wills and disinheritance, and I commented that the parties involved would all see each others reactions when they got together for the reading of the will. While my wife pointed out that this doesn’t actually happen, and the heirs would be informed with a letter. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/77 "2015-10-20T20:02:01Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I sure did think quicksand was going to be a bigger problem in my life than it has been to date. Likewise rattlesnakes, bears, rock slides, avalanches, and falling into wells. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/78 "2015-10-20T20:13:03Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Likewise rattlesnakes, bears, rock slides, avalanches, and falling into wells. You forgot amnesia. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/79 "2015-10-20T20:30:52Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > You forgot amnesia. Maybe he’s got… you know… ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/80 "2015-10-20T20:38:54Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > I thought when I grew up and got a real job it would come with an annual Christmas bonus. And the bonus would be enough to buy an in-ground swimming pool. Then you find out that it will be a membership to the Jelly of the Month club. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137.md?page=5)