# Things you assumed would happen in life, based on sitcoms/movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 19, 2015, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137 "2015-10-19T13:58:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/81 "2015-10-20T20:52:36Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Likewise rattlesnakes, bears, rock slides, avalanches, and falling into wells. Don’t forget the hot lava. Many hours of youth wasted both outrunning hot lava and climbing/jumping from stationary object to stationary object to avoid it. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/82 "2015-10-20T20:59:51Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Maybe he’s got… you know… Quick, someone hit him on the head! That always cures amnesia! ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/83 "2015-10-20T21:24:30Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I sure did think quicksand was going to be a bigger problem in my life than it has been to date. For me it was giant clams. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/84 "2015-10-20T22:08:36Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I watched _Wings_ and was convinced that the departure gate at the airport was a consistent, stable group that even had the same cab driver every day. I thought this was a very odd comment - because I was thinking about the movie Wings, which won the first Best Picture Oscar. :smack: That wasn’t a stable group. lots of them didn’t come back. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/85 "2015-10-20T22:19:32Z")
\*Lelaina: I just don’t understand why things just can’t go back to normal at the end of the half hour like on the Brady Bunch or something. Troy Dyer: Well, because Mr. Brady died of AIDS. Things don’t turn out like that.\* Oh! I remember one! People were always asking people to “go out for a cup of coffee sometime”. I was a literal-minded kid and thought I would never be able to go out with anyone since I wasn’t a coffee drinker. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/86 "2015-10-20T22:23:18Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Ironically, no one on television spends the evening watching television (especially not alone). But on the rare occasions when they do, the news is \*\*just then \*\*broadcasting the story they are interested in. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/87 "2015-10-20T22:34:19Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Ironically, no one on television spends the evening watching television (especially not alone). Don Draper did, IIRC - but when he had hit bottom. Interesting message about their audience. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/88 "2015-10-20T22:39:29Z")
> [@Death\_of\_Rats](#): > > Then you find out that it will be a membership to the Jelly of the Month club. 🙂 I once worked at a place that gave awards to people who came up with an idea that saved the company more than $100 a month or year; can’t recall right now. My prize? A light bulb painted red. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/89 "2015-10-20T22:40:52Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Watching Happy Days growing up I was convinced the way to get girls was to “act cool” like Fonzie. > > Talk to them? No. > Smile? No. > Be funny? No. > Share with them? No. > Compliment them? No. > Just ignore them, act cool and the girls will come to you. > > F-you Fonzie! Sounds fairly true to life for me. ---
**Author:** ![threeorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@threeorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threeorange)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/90 "2015-10-20T23:10:01Z")
I thought that all Halloween costumes were extremely elaborate. ---
**Author:** ![Octarine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/22d042/32.png) [@Octarine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Octarine)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/91 "2015-10-20T23:54:30Z")
The concept of a “best friend” - not just a close friend, but someone who you share literally everything with, and who is forever in sync with you. ---
**Author:** ![oara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b77776/32.png) [@oara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oara)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/92 "2015-10-21T00:36:05Z")
I thought that, after car accidents, the vehicles usually burst into flame and would explode if the fire weren’t extinguished right away. I was well into my twenties before I found out otherwise. Everyone laughed. Also, I thought groups of men often sang For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow. That must’ve been from reruns of MASH or Gilligan’s Island or something. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/93 "2015-10-21T00:47:51Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > Ah, the wacky neighbors! I lived in an apartment building for a time and never once did a wacky neighbor let himself in, to hang out! 😛 Not to mention there were NOT scores of attractive single people my age dying to make my acquaintance, perhaps letting romance bloom. …Related: I thought moving out to the 'burbs there would be friendly neighbors eager to gossip over the back fence. Coffee klatches. Home parties (Avon, home decor, Pampered Chef). We would all help each other out after a snowstorm, give each other rides in an emergency, exchange child care duties if needed, maybe even a block party in the summer! Hey, I’ll bring my 7-Layer Dip and Tostitos, and a case of Rolling Rock!..Imagine my surprise when I found myself, an at-home mom, pushing the stroller through empty silent streets and never even seeing my neighbors unless they were driving into their garages. Brushing off any attempts at conversation. Flat out refusing to come next door for a cookout. The only other women I saw pushing kids in strollers were babysitters and nannies…I guess we bombed out moving here all those years ago. I know there are really friendly neighbors and neighborhoods elsewhere, but here, it’s like Siberia. Depends on your neighborhood. I know all my neighbors and they’ve come to our superbowl parties at times. Oh, and one threatened to kill me. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/94 "2015-10-21T01:27:19Z")
If I were falsely accused of a crime, I am legally allowed to kill as many Russians, blow up as many buildings and punch as many cops in the face as necessary in order to clear my name and without getting charged for those subsequent crimes. ---
**Author:** ![GreenElf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/95 "2015-10-21T01:44:51Z")
I thought that at college there would be a ton of hot chicks undressing and pillow fighting by their dorm windows for all to see. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/96 "2015-10-21T02:13:43Z")
Fortunately I have never been stuck in a elevator or had the heartbreak of psoriasis. ---
**Author:** ![Marlonius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Marlonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlonius)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/97 "2015-10-21T02:46:18Z")
I thought it was relatively easy to knock someone out with one punch like Captain Kirk. I also thought that getting hit with knockout gas was a pretty common occurrence as happened every episode of the Adam West Batman. I conservatively estimate that 40% of the stupid things I did between ages 13 and 15 were a direct result of Top Gun. “I’m a rogue who gets things done my way. I have a dark past and I’m running from ghosts. I’m instinctive, stay out of my way”. Uh, no. You’re a 14 year old dork. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/98 "2015-10-21T02:49:08Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > …Stu…dying…one month left… Oh no, Stu is dying. I’ve got to do something! I know, I’ll have my wacky co-worker agree to marry him to brighten his last days. We’ll set the wedding day for two months from now, so she doesn’t have to actually do it. What could possibly go wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/99 "2015-10-21T03:13:52Z")
> [@notfrommensa](#): > > Fortunately I have never been stuck in a elevator or had the heartbreak of psoriasis. How about midriff bulge or post-nasal drip? ---
**Author:** ![Iron\_Wine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5e925/32.png) [@Iron\_Wine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iron_Wine)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/100 "2015-10-21T04:04:50Z")
> [@TV\_time](#): > > When I became a newspaper editor, I quickly found many people wanted this myth to be true. So I kept a cheap bottle of rot gut in the bottom drawer. It came in handy a couple of times. Mind you, I’m not saying booze is an answer, but holding a quarter coffee cup of cheap whiskey and talking can help deal with a day of a lot of stuff. Why rot gut? If you’re going to go through with it, you should really go through with it. Some nice cognac. Keep it classy. I always thought that if you didn’t say or do something in a significantly dramatic manner with an air of self-assured drama about you people wouldn’t be interested in what you were doing or saying. Realizing this at the end of 5th grade made me look back on the whole year and cringe… hard. I’d like to blame television for it but I was dumb enough to believe it so it’s just as much my fault. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137.md?page=6)