# Things you assumed would happen in life, based on sitcoms/movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 19, 2015, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137 "2015-10-19T13:58:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/101 "2015-10-21T04:49:09Z")
I thought I was wrapping presents wrong because no one on tv had to tear any paper, they just lift off the lid! And it was wrapped in the car so well because they always just came from the store. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/102 "2015-10-21T05:25:45Z")
I seem to remember an awful lot of TV shows where the old charming loveable guy that everybody likes, and yet has never been mentioned before this episode, is pushing 70 and hasn’t retired yet, so is forced out of his job by the cruel selfish money-obsessed younger boss. But then the whole sitcom family rallies together and proves to the higher-ups just how indispensable this old guy is and they get his job back for him\*. I never understood how the old guy wasn’t a) fully aware that retirement was coming, b) that it was government mandated retirement and fair for everyone, c) opens up job opportunities for those lower on the ladder and d) exactly how he got to his promotional level in the first place. I hope this doesn’t actually happen, and 65 year olds retire with dignity. \*_Where he is unable to use a computer, can no longer read without coke-bottle glasses, fails his driving test, and falls victim to dementia_ ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/103 "2015-10-21T05:52:01Z")
> [@oara](#): > > Also, I thought groups of men often sang For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow. That must’ve been from reruns of MASH or Gilligan’s Island or something. It’s because “Happy Birthday” was copyrighted, until just a few days ago. “For He’s…” is public domain and has been for many years. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/104 "2015-10-21T06:20:28Z")
> [@TV\_time](#): > > When I became a newspaper editor, I quickly found many people wanted this myth to be true. So I kept a cheap bottle of rot gut in the bottom drawer. It came in handy a couple of times. Mind you, I’m not saying booze is an answer, but holding a quarter coffee cup of cheap whiskey and talking can help deal with a day of a lot of stuff. > [@Iron\_Wine](#): > > Why rot gut? If you’re going to go through with it, you should really go through with it. Some nice cognac. Keep it classy. I think for a newspaper editor it would be scotch or bourbon. On the subject of drinks, though, does anybody actually keep their brandy or cognac in a crystal decanter rather than the original bottle? ---
**Author:** ![Shakester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shakester/32/437_2.png) [@Shakester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shakester)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/105 "2015-10-21T11:16:03Z")
I assumed, from watching the Benny Hill show at an early age, that women would wear far more interesting underwear than they usually do. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2015, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/106 "2015-10-21T13:39:37Z")
Heh. Benny Hill. This show actually influenced our family – the upscale airplane with all kinds of perks was the Benny airline and the rundown hideous one was the Duffy (for the thin old man on the show). Ever since seeing that, our family would refer to springing for the Benny whatever, or cheaping out on the Duffy whatever. > [@GreenElf](#): > > I thought that at college there would be a ton of hot chicks undressing and pillow fighting by their dorm windows for all to see. Jerry: What else did you two do? Elaine: Ah, you know, girl stuff. Jerry: Flower shows, shopping for pretty bows, and then back to her place, strip down to bra and panties for a tickle fight? Elaine: That’s really what you think girls do, isn’t it? Jerry: Yes, I do. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/107 "2015-10-24T11:35:47Z")
CPR I’ve read that on tv about 75% of the people who get CPR basically jump up and are fine when in reality performing CPR is a brutal and painful procedure (broken bones, vomiting, damage to internal organs) that maybe 10% of people actually do not need to be hospitalized afterwards and actually few even live thru. ---
**Author:** ![aktep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f0a364/32.png) [@aktep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aktep)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/108 "2015-10-26T02:09:35Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I sure did think quicksand was going to be a bigger problem in my life than it has been to date. John Mulaney has a good bit about this: [John Mulaney on quicksand. - Imgur](http://imgur.com/gallery/0ESwrfc) > [@Freddy the pig](#): > > I pictured work as a lot less transient. I thought it would be like Mary Tyler Moore, where there’s The Boss and the same people sitting at the same desks doing the same jobs for years at a time, except maybe once a year somebody would leave and a New Person would come in and it would be a Big Deal. > [@Push You Down](#): > > As a kid I honestly thought that adult jobs just let you leave and arrive and come go as you pleased (obviously as long as you did the job). Characters on tv shows, even with mundane jobs, never seemed to have trouble getting time off, or needing to be somewhere else during the day. These are my job. In my office unit, we have two people who’ve been there 3 years, one 10, one 13, one 18, one 27, and one who just retired after 45 years and his replacement has been with us a week. We have turnover so rarely we didn’t really know the process for getting the new guy onboard. We also aren’t too terribly strict on work hours. * * * As for me, I thought my after work day would consist of more trips to dive bars where I ordered “beer”. ---
**Author:** ![installLSC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/54ee81/32.png) [@installLSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/installLSC)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/109 "2015-10-26T03:01:40Z")
How about the “intentionally lose a contest so somebody poor/orphaned/sick can win instead” trope? (I mention it appeared while idly watching an ancient rerun of “Hazel” a few days ago.) Virtually nobody in real life will do that, yet it seems to happen a lot in sitcoms. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/110 "2015-10-26T03:35:21Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > That students go through every grade in elementary school, high school, and even college with the same group of students and even teachers! > > It took me about a week to realize that school groups were about as stable as the population of a departure gate at the airport. I had this experience, to a large extent, growing up in Hollywood, California. And even more remarkable: many of that same group of kids remained friends into adulthood, some of us actually worked at the same place for some years, and two of my childhood buddies just celebrated 25 years of marriage. (for the record: Cherimoya & Gardner grammar schools fed into Le Conte Junior High which fed into Hollywood High) ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/111 "2015-10-26T16:23:44Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > That students go through every grade in elementary school, high school, and even college with the same group of students and even teachers! > > It took me about a week to realize that school groups were about as stable as the population of a departure gate at the airport. Not in my experience. I started day 1 of Kindergarten with 10 kids, 9 of which graduated HS with me (the one had been held back and graduated later). As new kids moved in during the years, they ended up staying, and graduated with me. I actually thought everyone had the same experience. My first grade teacher had taught some of my classmates’ parents. My fifth grade teacher was still there when they closed the school a couple years back, and was teaching my classmate’s son. Now college, I agree, although there were two people from my HS that went to the same college as me (and we did not coordinate - just coincidence). ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/112 "2015-10-26T17:25:34Z")
People deal with stress and/or sadness with booze. I have never once heard uttered, “_God, I need a drink!_”, and when I myself tried getting drunk when I was very sad, it did not help at all. Perhaps I have lived a sheltered life. > [@Master\_Wang-Ka](#): > > … and I was sure that it was possible to dehydrate people into little piles of powder, and then rehydrate them into live people, as a result of the “Batman” movie (the Adam West one). **But I learned otherwise pretty early**. I really want to know the story behind how you learned this. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/113 "2015-10-26T18:08:04Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > People deal with stress and/or sadness with booze. I have never once heard uttered, “_God, I need a drink!_”, and when I myself tried getting drunk when I was very sad, it did not help at all. Perhaps I have lived a sheltered life. > I really want to know the story behind how you learned this. He could tell you, but then he’d have to dehydrate you into a little pile of powder. I drink rarely, but I have found myself saying I need a drink when I’m wound up – it does relax you at least in the short term. But yeah, for sadness, no. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/114 "2015-10-26T21:23:48Z")
I have a bottle of whiskey in my desk and people will stop by for a drink at the end of the day every once in a while. We used to do it every Thursday, but it became a chore. ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/115 "2015-10-27T00:44:29Z")
No problem is my life could ever have been solved by getting my pals together to put on a show in the old barn. ---
**Author:** ![stolatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@stolatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolatt)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/116 "2015-10-27T03:01:10Z")
Killer bees for me too. That almost everyone fell off a mountain at some point in their lives, but no one is ever hurt. That there is only one a-hole in every group and all their diabolical plans are so transparent that everyone knows and they are thwarted. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/117 "2015-10-27T04:53:53Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > I had this experience, to a large extent, growing up in Hollywood, California. And even more remarkable: many of that same group of kids remained friends into adulthood, some of us actually worked at the same place for some years, and two of my childhood buddies just celebrated 25 years of marriage. > > (for the record: Cherimoya & Gardner grammar schools fed into Le Conte Junior High which fed into Hollywood High) I attended Gardner in the late 70’s… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/118 "2015-10-27T13:43:22Z")
> [@seal\_cleaner](#): > > No problem is my life could ever have been solved by getting my pals together to put on a show in the old barn. Well, did you ever actually try it? You never know! ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/119 "2015-10-27T14:12:48Z")
You can beat the crap out of someone but not hurt your own hand. ---
**Author:** ![skdo23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@skdo23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skdo23)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137/120 "2015-10-27T16:40:15Z")
As a 7-8 year old kid in the late 70’s, I always felt a great sense of relief whenever my mom completed whatever business she had at the bank and we were able to leave safely without being taken hostage as a result of an armed robbery gone bad. Aslo when a plane I was on landed safely without being hijacked. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-assumed-would-happen-in-life-based-on-sitcoms-movies/735137.md?page=7)