# Things You Can Do With Buttocks **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 17, 2012, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766 "2012-01-17T03:33:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/1 "2012-01-17T03:33:36Z")
[http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/jan/05/woman-buttocks-damage-painting-clyfford-still](http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/jan/05/woman-buttocks-damage-painting-clyfford-still) What else can one do with buttocks? ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/2 "2012-01-17T03:49:39Z")
I was going to say that I could use them to damage an expensive painting, but I see that that has been covered already. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/3 "2012-01-17T03:57:52Z")
Pick up a quarter? Not me personally, but I’ve heard stories. ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/4 "2012-01-17T04:11:05Z")
> [@11811](#): > > Pick up a quarter? Not me personally, but I’ve heard stories. Sure. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/5 "2012-01-17T05:20:52Z")
> [@11811](#): > > Pick up a quarter? Not me personally, but I’ve heard stories. > [@brittekland](#): > > Sure. what type of crack is that? ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/6 "2012-01-17T05:24:00Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > what type of crack is that? Cheap crack. A classy crack should pick up minimum $50 bill. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/7 "2012-01-17T05:42:15Z")
> [@brittekland](#): > > What else can one do with buttocks? [Protect yourself from death by asphyxiation.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gentlemen,_Be_Seated!) ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/8 "2012-01-17T05:46:59Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > [Protect yourself from death by asphyxiation.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gentlemen,_Be_Seated!) Or cause asphyxiation. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/9 "2012-01-17T06:16:16Z")
The majority of farts come from there, right? ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/10 "2012-01-17T06:22:25Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > The majority of farts come from there, right? I meant creative things. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/11 "2012-01-17T06:26:19Z")
> [@brittekland](#): > > I meant creative things. :rolleyes: Wasn’t it in _9 1/2 Weeks_ where the kid was supposed to be able to fart the _Star Spangled Banner_? ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/12 "2012-01-17T06:33:02Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > Wasn’t it in _9 1/2 Weeks_ where the kid was supposed to be able to fart the _Star Spangled Banner_? Okay, that gets the pass as creative… I guess. Remember the [Dick Cavett’s interview with Jimi Hendrix](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-ZYUaRKQkk)? I wonder if 9 1/2 people got a bunch of hate mail? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/13 "2012-01-17T06:35:39Z")
> [@brittekland](#): > > I meant creative things. :rolleyes: The Master speaks:[Did a French vaudeville star once specialize in trained flatulence?](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/363/did-a-french-vaudeville-star-once-specialize-in-trained-flatulence) ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/14 "2012-01-17T06:44:11Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > The Master speaks:[Did a French vaudeville star once specialize in trained flatulence?](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/363/did-a-french-vaudeville-star-once-specialize-in-trained-flatulence) Well, Joseph **Pujol** was not only “the fartiste” but a bona fide buttockus performer! He smoked cigar through his… ::bows in awe:: Only in France. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/15 "2012-01-17T06:46:04Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > The Master speaks:[Did a French vaudeville star once specialize in trained flatulence?](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/363/did-a-french-vaudeville-star-once-specialize-in-trained-flatulence) The tangential mention of Mel Brooks is most likely a shout-out to [Blazing Saddles (1974)](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071230/) where Mel’s main character was Governor William J. Lepetomane. Not to mention the fireside scene! ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/16 "2012-01-17T06:53:56Z")
A friend of mine once lit her fart and a blanket of blue flame literally stayed on her butt for a while. She freaked, jumped up and down and sat on her “buttocks” to put it out. It was way back in Stroh’s drinking days… ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/17 "2012-01-17T07:04:13Z")
> [@brittekland](#): > > A friend of mine once lit her fart and a blanket of blue flame literally stayed on her butt for a while. She freaked, jumped up and down and sat on her “buttocks” to put it out. It was way back in Stroh’s drinking days… Yikes! FWIW, YouTube is replete with lighted farts videos, but to get a good start, [go here!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6vN4H6L458) ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/18 "2012-01-17T07:10:57Z")
Og, where did we make the wrong turn? That’s nasty. How can people be so nasty? BTW, after that incident I thought the cause of **SHC** (Spontaneous Human Combustion) could be people farting while smoking and fart catching fire then creep into their pujol…? ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/19 "2012-01-17T07:14:42Z")
Well this may be TMI, but I could use mine to keep ice from melting. It is often freezing to the touch. It is always the last part of my body to warm up after being outside in the cold. My guy often makes fun of this…umm…phenomenon (?). I’m waiting for some day when he has a fever…he can just lay his poor hot forehead on it and feel all better…😃 😉 ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2012, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766/20 "2012-01-17T07:23:25Z")
> [@scootergirl](#): > > Well this may be TMI, but I could use mine to keep ice from melting. It is often freezing to the touch. It is always the last part of my body to warm up after being outside in the cold. My guy often makes fun of this…umm…phenomenon (?). I’m waiting for some day when he has a fever…he can just lay his poor hot forehead on it and feel all better…😃 😉 Right, standing out by barn fire drinking beer at night always makes my buttocks unbelievably chilled, like they are not even parts of body. I usually have to hold my butt cheeks in each hand to go to sleep. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-can-do-with-buttocks/609766.md?page=2)