# Things you don't want to hear first thing in the morning **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 16, 2006, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788 "2006-02-16T13:36:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/41 "2006-02-17T03:05:41Z")
I forgot to mention something that actually happened to me: _flying tree branches smashing through the bedroom window during an early morning windstorm_. Had I not had my heavy wooden blinds pulled, I’d have likely been injured and not just rudely awakened. ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/42 "2006-02-17T03:05:57Z")
“I’m not in the mood this morning, Honey.” That’s no way for a person to have to start the day. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/43 "2006-02-17T03:19:05Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > **THUD** > > That was the sound of a car driving through our front door at 3:30 a.m. AND?!? Don’t leave us hanging! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/44 "2006-02-17T03:20:13Z")
> [@Large Marge](#): > > “I’m not in the mood this morning, Honey.” > That’s no way for a person to have to start the day. Oh hell, that’s how Mr. Early Morning Wood gets to start every day… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/45 "2006-02-17T03:40:56Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I have a Pavlovian violent reaction to the default Nokia cell phone ring thanks to a roommate I once had who liked to have long phone conversations at 3 am on the stairs directly above my bed. Every time I hear it now, I have to puch someone in the face. God, I hate that ring. I may take up punching people in the face when I hear it, too. Since I live alone, and sans animals, the only bad thing I fear hearing in the morning is bad news on morning radio. Something along the lines of “currently it’s zero degrees with a windchill of -14” is perhaps not ideal. (That was a day back in December. I had been battling a budding cold at the time and just called in sick. Not going to go outside and wait for the bus in that.) ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/46 "2006-02-17T04:02:10Z")
“Moooo-ooom, I feel like I’m gonna throw u…blarrrggggh!” Actually, that’s pretty unpleasant to hear at any time of day. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/47 "2006-02-17T04:23:11Z")
“Honey, the house is filling with smoke and I don’t know where it’s coming from.” The water heater caught fire, and it took 5 seconds to put out- and an hour to clear all the smoke from the burnt insulation. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/48 "2006-02-17T04:25:15Z")
**Bam! Bam! Bam!** "\*Minneapolis Police! \* At least it wasn’t for me. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/49 "2006-02-17T06:41:38Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > Any dog owner will know the horrid sound of a dog about to puke, to wit: “Urg. Urg. Urg.” At five AM you are awakened by this sound and run like hell to let them outside before they barf on the rug and are usually about .00002 seconds too late. > > Cleaning vomit out of a rug as the sun comes up can make you start imagining the sweet fur jacket you could make out of your canine companion. Oh…thank you (I’m wiping tears out of my eyes. I’m not laughing AT you, I’m laughing at your perfect rendering of this not so lovely event). ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/50 "2006-02-17T13:13:04Z")
A rooster crowing approximately 3 inches from your head. Those little buggers are _loud_. A donkey braying 3 feet from your head at 4 AM. They’re loud, too. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/51 "2006-02-17T14:19:36Z")
> [@Marlitharn](#): > > A rooster crowing approximately 3 inches from your head. Those little buggers are _loud_. > > A donkey braying 3 feet from your head at 4 AM. They’re loud, too. I can’t be the only person wondering why you sleep in a barnyard… :dubious: Am I? ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/52 "2006-02-17T15:10:40Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > I can’t be the only person wondering why you sleep in a barnyard… :dubious: > > Am I? Umm, no. I was just about to ask where the _hell_ she lives. E. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/53 "2006-02-17T15:23:32Z")
A strange man _in your room_. (My next-door-neighbor has a CB radio out in his shed. He at one point had a way-too-strong antenna or something, and for some reason my computer speakers were picking up his outgoing signal. If you know for a fact that you’re the only person in your house, and then all the sudden there’s a guys voice not three feet from your head, it wakes you up _damn_ fast.) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/54 "2006-02-17T15:27:28Z")
I’ve heard this one as something that happened to a co-worker, many job lives ago, so it’s literally a Friend of a Friend, and therefore suspect. But I hope to Og it’s true. This guy’s friend had been reading in bed, and was awakened by the neighbor’s dog that had somehow gotten into his bedroom. The dog was a Saint Bernard. The book the guy had been reading was _Cujo_. … ---
**Author:** ![Eliphalet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eliphalet/32/9563_2.png) [@Eliphalet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eliphalet)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/55 "2006-02-17T15:29:02Z")
> [@Rysdad](#): > > **Bam! Bam! Bam!** > > "\*Minneapolis Police! \* > > At least it wasn’t for me. This was similar to mine. “I’m Detective O’Malley from Sex Crimes. Is Mr. Brackett here? He’s your son? May we come in and speak with him?” They were interviewing me for witnessing a serial flasher while at work. Unfortunately, I’d not mentioned the incident to my mother. So there was a whole lot of 'splainin to do for her. Eli ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788/56 "2006-02-17T17:56:20Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > I can’t be the only person wondering why you sleep in a barnyard… :dubious: > > Am I? I don’t, anymore. But when I was a kid we didn’t have any air conditioning so in the summertime I would often sleep out in the back yard on a folding cot. The chickens had the run of the place; the pasture fence was just a few feet away, and I guess it upset the donkey to see me lying there motionless. Or maybe she thought it’d be fun to see me leap 3 feet into the air from a horizontal position. I had goats, too, but they were considerate and let me sleep. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-first-thing-in-the-morning/344788.md?page=2)