# Things You Don't Want To Hear On A First Date **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 8, 2013, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961 "2013-07-08T19:09:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/101 "2013-07-13T07:01:42Z")
Yes, I think you are totally hot, but believe me when I say I am in love with your mind as well. And since you are such an intelligent person I want to give you this opportunity to invest in a time share in a new resort near Ishpeming, Michigan; the Riviera of the Upper Peninsula. I have some great color brochures right here… ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/102 "2013-07-13T09:19:10Z")
> [@MegaBee](#): > > “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?” I recognized the quote, but couldn’t place it so googled it: Jack Nicholson as the Joker in Batman (1989) who said it right before he killed someone. https://www.youtube.com/embed/4F9RzLqKu2g?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque But why wouldn’t you want to hear this? That someone is a Batman/Joker fan? ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/103 "2013-07-13T09:33:08Z")
“Does this look infected to you?” ---
**Author:** ![johnmont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@johnmont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnmont)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/104 "2013-07-13T15:49:17Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > “Don’t worry - I think it is just a cold sore.” MY favorite is" Don’t get any wrong ideas. After I made love with her I said "I had the right idea all along "She smacked me! ---
**Author:** ![johnmont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@johnmont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnmont)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/105 "2013-07-13T15:56:39Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > True story: > > “My soul mate died last year.” > > This is one that I should, should, should, should have run away from. > > Not that anyone whose love of their life passed away is tainted goods, but anyone who feels the need to share that before dinner has _issues_. My wife was a widow she told me she still morns the loss, but he is dead and you’re here now. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/106 "2013-07-13T16:13:34Z")
> [@johnmont](#): > > MY favorite is" Don’t get any wrong ideas. After I made love with her I said "I had the right idea all along "She smacked me! So long as you enjoyed the smacking, too… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![johnmont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@johnmont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnmont)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/107 "2013-07-13T16:22:14Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Where did I go to college? Liberty University. > > Is it time for Rush’s show yet? That guy is so smart. Run for your life. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/108 "2013-07-13T17:35:20Z")
I’m a bit of a celebrity you know. I was on “Dog, the Bounty Hunter.” ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/109 "2013-07-13T17:46:02Z")
True quote from a first and last date: “I hear voices.” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/110 "2013-07-13T20:02:27Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > I recognized the quote, but couldn’t place it so googled it: Jack Nicholson as the Joker in Batman (1989) who said it right before he killed someone. > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F9RzLqKu2g](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F9RzLqKu2g) > > But why wouldn’t you want to hear this? That someone is a Batman/Joker fan? The implication is that your date is a psychopathic killer and you’re the next target. ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/111 "2013-07-13T20:37:24Z")
A friend of mine went on a date for the first time after breaking up with a long-term girlfriend. The next day he was asked how the date went. He said that he wasn’t sure if he’d go out with her again because she seemed a little “crazy”. I internally rolled my eyes a little bit at this, thinking that my friend was still bitter over the ex. Then he went on to explain how the girl had mentioned having a pet rat, and my friend had asked conversationally why she’d chosen a rat as a pet. The answer? “ **Because they’ll never betray you.** ” Ok then. Kinda crazy, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/112 "2013-07-13T21:08:47Z")
> [@Rysto](#): > > A friend of mine went on a date for the first time after breaking up with a long-term girlfriend. The next day he was asked how the date went. He said that he wasn’t sure if he’d go out with her again because she seemed a little “crazy”. I internally rolled my eyes a little bit at this, thinking that my friend was still bitter over the ex. Then he went on to explain how the girl had mentioned having a pet rat, and my friend had asked conversationally why she’d chosen a rat as a pet. The answer? > > “ **Because they’ll never betray you.** ” > > Ok then. Kinda crazy, indeed. I would say a little dramatic and awkward but not really crazy. She probably just likes her rat. I would have never believed how wonderful a pet they could be till my son had one. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/113 "2013-07-13T21:13:02Z")
“You have such nice thick hair, is it like that\* down there\* too?” First (and last) date, dude… ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/114 "2013-07-13T21:46:08Z")
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used as evidence against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present …” ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/115 "2013-07-13T21:52:43Z")
> [@Rysto](#): > > A friend of mine went on a date for the first time after breaking up with a long-term girlfriend. The next day he was asked how the date went. He said that he wasn’t sure if he’d go out with her again because she seemed a little “crazy”. I internally rolled my eyes a little bit at this, thinking that my friend was still bitter over the ex. Then he went on to explain how the girl had mentioned having a pet rat, and my friend had asked conversationally why she’d chosen a rat as a pet. The answer? > > “ **Because they’ll never betray you.** ” > > Ok then. Kinda crazy, indeed. [Or maybe not…](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBzorc7teaY) “and you my friend will see, you’ve got a friend in me” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/116 "2013-07-13T22:00:45Z")
Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. They’re everywhere, even under my skin. BEHIND YOU!!! ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/117 "2013-07-13T23:46:21Z")
“I have a _terrible_ gag reflex.” ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/118 "2013-07-14T00:24:04Z")
> [@Mr.Accident](#): > > “Oh sweetie, you thought this was a date? I just asked you to come with me to make sure I don’t do anything stupid and that I get home safe.” Not blowing me would be stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/119 "2013-07-14T00:25:10Z")
This one is real. Within 5 minutes of meeting he asks my date of birth, and pulls out a piece of paper and starts working on our astrology charts to see if we will be compatible. He also consulted numerology to double check. When I said I didn’t think a second date would be wise, he was very surprised, and said he always did well with Taurus women. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961/120 "2013-07-20T10:30:39Z")
> [@Cub\_Mistress](#): > > This one is real. Within 5 minutes of meeting he asks my date of birth, and pulls out a piece of paper and starts working on our astrology charts to see if we will be compatible. He also consulted numerology to double check. When I said I didn’t think a second date would be wise, he was very surprised, and said he always did well with Taurus women. Your response should’ve been “yeah, but I cast bones and did some tarot readings before this and… be careful around birds, okay?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-on-a-first-date/662961.md?page=7)