# Things you don't want to hear your 7 year old saying **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 12, 2016, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798 "2016-03-12T22:38:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2016, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/1 "2016-03-12T22:38:45Z")
**"What the ?!? This marker is permanent !?!"** In case you’re wondering, VIM and a soft nylon pad can take Sharpie marker off of hardwood floors if you move on it right away… ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/2 "2016-03-13T01:13:11Z")
Mommy, is it bad if smoke is coming up from the basement? Mommy, did you know dogs \*really \*like chocolate? Even more than me! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/3 "2016-03-13T01:57:09Z")
When my son was a toddler, he came strolling into my bedroom one day munching down on a pizza crust. At first, I didn’t think anything of it, I figured his brother must have grabbed it out of the fridge for him. Then I got to thinking: “Wait a minute, we shouldn’t have left over pizza in the fridge as we haven’t ordered pizza in a long time”. I then asked my son: Show daddy where you got the pizza." He then proceeds to lead me to the living room couch. He then lifted up a cushion and pointed underneath it! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/4 "2016-03-13T02:08:14Z")
My brother gets home one day from school, goes into the kitchen and sees something a bit strange. He calls down to my father in his office, using the same tone one might use for saying “Phone call for you.” “Dad, the stove’s on fire.” ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/5 "2016-03-13T02:09:19Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Mommy, is it bad if smoke is coming up from the basement? Around the age of seven, I came into the kitchen from the den. My mom was on the phone. We had this conversation: “Mama!” “Just a minute, Dorkness.” “But mama!” “I’m on the phone.” “Okay… … …but _mama_!” “What IS IT, Dorkness?!” “The TV’s on fire!” ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/6 "2016-03-13T02:50:21Z")
Hmmm. Fire seems to enter into several of these examples… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/7 "2016-03-13T03:14:06Z")
“Dad, the dog peed on my pillow.” ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/8 "2016-03-13T03:16:58Z")
Any form of ‘uh-oh’ or ‘oops’. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/9 "2016-03-13T03:21:21Z")
“I threw up in bed.” One of my personal faves. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/10 "2016-03-13T07:43:32Z")
\*Hey, ma! It looks like Snowflake doesn’t have nine lives after all! Hey, pop! Ma’s pretty mad about those magazines in your drawer I showed her with all those boobies.\* [On phone, purportedly with with an attorney]: Attorney: _mutter, mutter…_ Kid: _That’s right, full emancipation._ Attorney: _mutter, mutter…_ Kid: _Put in the motion, “chores are a clear case of cruel and unusual punishment.”_ Attorney: _mutter, mutter…_ Kid: \*Yep, $1-million restitution…I want them to bleed. I want the dog, too. \* ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/11 "2016-03-13T07:47:03Z")
Mom… Dad… I’m in trouble and I have to get married. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/12 "2016-03-13T08:52:14Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > Mom… Dad… I’m in trouble and I have to get married. Teen-age girl, in tears: Mom! I just found out. I’m pregnant! Mom: OH MY GOD! OY VEY! OH THIS IS TERRIBLE! OH THIS IS HORRIBLE! EEEEEEEEEEE! HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN??? . . . (blah, blah, blah…) WHO’S THE FATHER??? Girl: How should I know? You never did let me go steady! ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e47774/32.png) [@quiltguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/13 "2016-03-13T10:17:47Z")
"Hey Pop, I sent in that paper that said “Vote for Trump,” that was OK, right? ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/14 "2016-03-13T11:00:48Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > Hmmm. Fire seems to enter into several of these examples… Another one. According to family lore, I was maybe about four years old: “Mom, the TV is smoking.” Then I saw what Mom was doing. “Just like you!” Mom put her cigarette in the ashtray, and called the fire department. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-7-year-old-saying/748798/15 "2016-03-13T11:10:37Z")
“I think I broke it.” It’s especially terrifying when they say that to you and you have no idea what they broke.