# Things you don't want to hear your boss say **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 10, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811 "2003-04-10T16:15:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![chukhung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@chukhung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chukhung)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/1 "2003-04-10T16:15:54Z")
From this article, [http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=573&ncid=757&e=1&u=/nm/20030410/od\_nm/odd\_britain\_knifethrower\_dc](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=573&ncid=757&e=1&u=/nm/20030410/od_nm/odd_britain_knifethrower_dc) on Yahoo’s Oddly Enough section: > [@](#): > > “In 11 years of performing, I’ve only hit my assistant on five occasions,” he told the Daily Mail newspaper recently. This man’s profession? > [@](#): > > Circus performer Jayde Hanson, 23, was demonstrating his skills when one of his knives hit his assistant and girlfriend, 22-year-old Yana Rodianova. After being hit twice previously, Yana is now looking for another job. (It took _three_ times before she figured out that being this guy’s assistant wasn’t the best gig in the circus?!? Sounds like a Springer episode to me: “Women Who Love Men Who Throw Knives At Them.”) ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/2 "2003-04-10T16:21:52Z")
“Why did I change the password on the budget headcount file? Um, well, see, it’s like this…” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/3 "2003-04-10T16:53:13Z")
Nice tits. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/4 "2003-04-10T16:56:46Z")
You’re fired. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/5 "2003-04-10T17:03:49Z")
“Hey man, would you do me a favor …?” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/6 "2003-04-10T17:11:46Z")
So, would Rochester (100 miles away) be too much of a daily commute for you? ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/7 "2003-04-10T17:18:03Z")
Heeeey…you’re wife’s _cute_… ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/8 "2003-04-10T17:23:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*Nice tits. \*\* Especially if you’re _male_! Friday, 10 minutes before my weekend departure: “We’re having a meeting.” ---
**Author:** ![kylen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@kylen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kylen)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/9 "2003-04-10T17:26:27Z")
Did YOU leave these kneepads in my office? ---
**Author:** ![Kalashnikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kalashnikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalashnikov)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/10 "2003-04-10T17:29:13Z")
“you’re not doing anything this weekend, are you?” “you’ll have your cell phone on, right?” “we’re going to be doing a little re-organizing” ---
**Author:** ![IDemandBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a88e57/32.png) [@IDemandBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IDemandBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/11 "2003-04-10T17:32:52Z")
“I can’t access my email from my laptop.” Well, did you bother to plug it into the network, you dork?! –IDB ---
**Author:** ![thebarge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b38774/32.png) [@thebarge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thebarge)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/12 "2003-04-10T17:41:00Z")
“I strenuously avoid putting on paper anything that might jeopardize my job.” That’ll give a guy a sinking feeling. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/13 "2003-04-10T17:48:07Z")
“The company is laying off 15,000 people next week, but your job won’t be affected.” ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/14 "2003-04-10T17:49:53Z")
“From now on, can you put a cover sheet on those TPS reports? Thanks.” ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/15 "2003-04-10T17:51:08Z")
I wasted my 666th post on THAT? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/16 "2003-04-10T17:55:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by roadrunner70 \* > \*\*Heeeey…you’re wife’s _cute_… \*\* I had a former boss who told me that. He also stated (verbatim) “Your sister’s cute - I bet she looks good naked” Regarding my then 17 (18?) year old sister. ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/17 "2003-04-10T17:56:59Z")
Anything that involves “a little chat,” as in “Linty, would you meet me in my office for a little chat?” I don’t know why bosses say that anymore, because the original intent seemed to be to soften some sort of blow. Just a “friendly” little chat that might very well wind up in the presentation of a pink slip. One of my bosses used to drive me crazy like this. She’d say that she’d be over to my cubicle for a “little chat” in about 10 minutes. I’d spend the next 15 minutes biting my nails until she came over(She wasn’t really a stickler for punctuality.), and then when she’d come over, she’d just start talking about her daughter and her life and her childhood, and I’d be there fidgiting while trying not to scream “Will you get to the frigging _point_??!” for the next 20 minutes until I figured out that when she said “a little chat” she meant it literally. She just liked to talk, and I guess she thought I was a good listener. It never occured to her that “a little chat” could have negative connotations. And people wonder why I have high blood pressure. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/18 "2003-04-10T18:16:26Z")
“Hello D\_Odds” (especially if he used ‘D\_Odds’!) Best days at work are when either he or I are out of the office. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/19 "2003-04-10T18:32:13Z")
“We’ve got a problem.” Meaning: “I’ve got a problem, and I’m giving it to you.” ---
**Author:** ![NaSultainne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8797f3/32.png) [@NaSultainne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NaSultainne)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811/20 "2003-04-10T18:42:33Z")
“The big boss’ daughter is graduating next month from (_insert college of your choice here_) and will be needing a job. \<\<_pause_\>\>. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-dont-want-to-hear-your-boss-say/167811.md?page=2)