# Things you heard. What you thought they meant. Oops, what they really meant. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 7, 2009, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800 "2009-02-07T12:01:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/1 "2009-02-07T12:01:39Z")
Driving today and on the radio someone mentioned a couple involved in a car accident. He added that it was a **fertility**. I assumed it was going to be a joke about some guy getting his wife pregnant in the back seat. So I laughed. Of course he meant fatality. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/2 "2009-02-07T13:47:22Z")
When I was a kid, I heard news reports about armed gorillas all the time. I thought gorillas with machine guns were lumbering around and attacking our soldiers. OOK OOK OOK! BRADABRADABRADA!!! Then I learned they were actually guerrillas. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/3 "2009-02-07T20:29:46Z")
When I was a kid, I’d hear about, from time to time, people getting busted in foreign, usually a Middle Eastern, country for hash. I use to think, you can get get arrested for eating hash browns?:smack: ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/4 "2009-02-07T20:38:26Z")
Barack and Michelle fisting each other is going to be tops of my list for this category for some time to come. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/5 "2009-02-07T22:10:16Z")
Back in the '60s the Cuyahoga River was so polluted it actually caught fire . . . twice. Other than that, there was just a whole lot of crap being dumped into it. One of the local politicians was on TV, and complained about all the “derbies”\* floating in the river. I picture that scene as painted by Magritte. - He meant “debris.” ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/6 "2009-02-07T23:19:04Z")
I’m not sure this is exactly what you’re looking for, but here goes. A friend of mine once applied the phrase “light in the loafers” to a mutual acquaintance. I thought it meant “kind of crazy” or “eccentric”, which I thought was a fair assessment of the acquantance. Some time later, I used my newfound synonym for “crazy” to describe a coworker in front of another coworker, who, alas, knew the real meaning. I wondered why my coworker suddenly seemed to think this other guy was gay. Some years later, I learned the truth. So, to my former coworker, sorry dude. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/7 "2009-02-08T00:04:39Z")
When I was a kid, there was a sign on the wall of the grocery store across the street that said “Shoplifters will be prosecuted”. I was pretty sure that I was missing something, because I though that killing someone just for robbing a grocery store was a bit extreme. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/8 "2009-02-08T00:08:24Z")
I thought ‘‘blackmail’’ was something racist and offensive when I was a little kid. Not really the same thing, but whenever I saw those signs that said, ‘‘Tresspassers will be shot,’’ I assumed the sign was telling me that I was already trespassing, and I was worried someone was going to show up and shoot me. ---
**Author:** ![Lavender\_Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b782af/32.png) [@Lavender\_Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lavender_Falcon)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/9 "2009-02-08T02:02:12Z")
A guy at work came back from vacation and said he’d seen a kid along the side of a road selling a box of puppies. “Awww, that’s so cute!” I said. “Did you stop and look in the box?” “What box?” “The box with the puppies.” “What puppies?” “You said there was a kid selling a box of puppies.” “No I didn’t. He just had a sign.” “So why did you say there was a box?” This went around for a few minutes until we figured out that I’d thought he said the for sale sign said “Box of puppies” when it had actually said “Boxer puppies.” ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/10 "2009-02-08T02:17:01Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > When I was a kid, I heard news reports about armed gorillas all the time. I thought gorillas with machine guns were lumbering around and attacking our soldiers. OOK OOK OOK! BRADABRADABRADA!!! > > Then I learned they were actually guerrillas. I was hopelessly confused by that as a kid. I remember one story where the gorillas held someone captive, but allowed him to have a TV. I could NOT understand where the gorillas got TV, or even electricity, for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![Arglefraster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3bc359/32.png) [@Arglefraster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arglefraster)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/11 "2009-02-09T19:32:24Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > I was hopelessly confused by that as a kid. I remember one story where the gorillas held someone captive, but allowed him to have a TV. I could NOT understand where the gorillas got TV, or even electricity, for that matter. I used to think that they were humans who dressed up as gorillas. You know, as a disguise. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/12 "2009-02-09T19:35:40Z")
Don’t get me started on the Youth In Asia. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/13 "2009-02-09T19:36:40Z")
> [@Lavender\_Falcon](#): > > “You said there was a kid selling a box of puppies.” The pup in the box: I BURNING YOUR DOG! ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/14 "2009-02-09T19:44:30Z")
This reminds me of one of the New York magazine contests, collected in [Maybe He’s Dead](http://www.amazon.com/Maybe-Hes-Dead-Hilarious-Competitions/dp/0394749189/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1234208492&sr=8-1) What they said “And look how we decorated using a nautical theme…” What I thought “I can’t believe she thought I wanted her to show me the \*real \*‘little boy’s room’.” ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/15 "2009-02-09T19:49:20Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Back in the '60s the Cuyahoga River was so polluted it actually caught fire . . . twice. [Burn on big river, burn on.](http://www.musicsonglyrics.com/R/randynewmanlyrics/randynewmanburnonlyrics.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/16 "2009-02-09T20:03:58Z")
> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > When I was a kid, there was a sign on the wall of the grocery store across the street that said “Shoplifters will be prosecuted”. > > I was pretty sure that I was missing something, because I though that killing someone just for robbing a grocery store was a bit extreme. I don’t understand. What did you think it said? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/17 "2009-02-09T20:08:17Z")
When I was a kid, my mother said something to my aunt about my uncle getting picked up, then he got carried away, and they dropped him off. I had a mental picture of my (very overweight) uncle being carried away in a litter or sedan chair, then unceremoniously dumped on the ground at his destination. What she meant, of course, was that somebody gave him a ride in the car, but he got too enthusiastic in his conversation, so they asked him to get out of the car. I like my mental picture better. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/18 "2009-02-09T20:41:04Z")
> [@InvisibleWombat](#): > > I don’t understand. What did you think it said? prosecuted = executed ? ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/19 "2009-02-09T22:22:05Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Don’t get me started on the Youth In Asia. I once told my mom I was doing a report for school on euthanasia and she said “what about them?” ::blink:: When I was a kid there was a furniture store or something that used to offer 90 days “famous cash” financing. I used to wonder what fabulous stars shopped there. (It was several years before I realised they meant “same-as-cash”). ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800/20 "2009-02-09T22:39:21Z")
A friend told me he heard one of his young female employees confide to another “I have PSDS.” He had no idea what this could be, even after a Google search for diseases or syndromes with that abbreviation. It sounded potentially serious, but also possibly embarassing and since he wasn’t part of the original conversation he felt it would be wrong to ask. It came out later that this was simply “pierced ears” rendered in a Boston (more specifically, Dorchester) accent. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-heard-what-you-thought-they-meant-oops-what-they-really-meant/484800.md?page=2)