# Things you never thought you'd say **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 6, 2002, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657 "2002-06-06T13:03:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/1 "2002-06-06T13:03:48Z")
This was a post on the replacement board a while back that I never got around to posting on, so I felt that now would be a good time to revive it. My two big ones that I never thougth I’d ever hear myself say: “How many calories are in this?” “How’s my hair?” ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/2 "2002-06-06T13:27:50Z")
“I’m a housewife. This is my husband and our three kids.” _shiver_ SCARY!! ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/3 "2002-06-06T13:45:32Z")
I am happier married than I was single. Nah, I do not feel like a beer tonight. Yeesh, what happened to me-- I think I have been domesticated. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/4 "2002-06-06T13:56:43Z")
You get his wrists, I’ve got his ankles. We should be able to move him before anyone finds out. You’ve got your truck here, right? ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/5 "2002-06-06T13:59:08Z")
I do. ---
**Author:** ![dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dreamer)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/6 "2002-06-06T14:12:15Z")
“Because I said so” ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/7 "2002-06-06T14:20:36Z")
You better knock it off or I’ll _give_ you something to cry about. ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/8 "2002-06-06T14:45:59Z")
“You kiss your children with that mouth?” Granted, I said it to a disgruntled customer. “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!” A friend and I stumbled upon a gay pride rally. We joined the chant, even though it doesn’t apply to us. Gotta show the love, right? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/9 "2002-06-06T15:05:45Z")
I’m really not in the mood for chocolate… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/10 "2002-06-06T15:24:43Z")
“That’s not music, that’s noise!” “Can’t we just cuddle?” “Would you like fries with that?” ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/11 "2002-06-06T15:46:05Z")
I’ve got “becoming my mother” issues too: “Take that out of your mouth! You don’t know where it’s been.” ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/12 "2002-06-06T15:51:40Z")
“Hey, I just cleaned that floor!” “Turn some lights off!” “If you open a Coke then finish it!” ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/13 "2002-06-06T15:53:13Z")
“No, she’s too young.” ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/14 "2002-06-06T15:56:39Z")
And teaching is almost as bad as parenting: “What is _with_ these kids today?” “Have you no pride in your work?” “You owe your classmates a written apology.” ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/15 "2002-06-06T16:02:20Z")
“I’m so old.” “My sister’s High School graduation is on the 28th.” “I just got back from Star Wars Episode 2.” “I can’t stay, I have to work tommorrow.” “I went to the gym today.” “I lost 70 pounds.” “All these songs sound the same.” ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/16 "2002-06-06T16:13:22Z")
“Bling-bling” - it’s used by me now as a sort of catch-all exclamatory particle. Example - I find a hundred thousand dollars lying in the street in a box with my name and photo on it, and just for safety, the words ‘yes, YOU, ya red-haired, five-foot-ten dope’ scribbled. I say - ‘bling-bling, I’m RICH!’. I honestly hated that expression a year and a half ago. Now, I love it. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/17 "2002-06-06T18:04:34Z")
Not tonight You’ll understand when you’re older No I don’t want any sweets When I was your age… (too much really) If your friends jumped off a bridge… ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/18 "2002-06-06T18:26:19Z")
“My composter makes my life complete.” “Sure these shoes are ugly, but they’re comfortable and that’s what counts.” ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/19 "2002-06-06T18:28:20Z")
Did you make a big poopie for Daddy? ---
**Author:** ![EchoKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@EchoKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EchoKitty)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657/20 "2002-06-06T18:31:01Z")
“Use your head for something besides a hat rack!” “You’re gonna put your eye out!” “So help me, if I have to get up…” “Well, babe…it’s 8:30. I’m turnin’ in.” (Cranky: Still haven’t given up on the cute shoes…I only have one ugly pair – and they ARE comfortable!) I just can’t give up the heels yet! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-never-thought-youd-say/112657.md?page=2)