# Things You Should NEVER Google **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2016, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323 "2016-07-19T14:51:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/21 "2016-07-19T18:45:49Z")
Cymothoa exigua. Nature is cruel. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90ced4/32.png) [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waltzes_with_Cacti)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/22 "2016-07-19T18:46:57Z")
**Wookinpanub** , just for you: Cancrum Oris [https://www.google.com/search?q=Cancrum+Oris&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjr8Zjgl4DOAhVCbT4KHebTBGsQsAQIHQ&biw=1224&bih=682](https://www.google.com/search?q=Cancrum+Oris&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjr8Zjgl4DOAhVCbT4KHebTBGsQsAQIHQ&biw=1224&bih=682) ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/23 "2016-07-19T18:59:20Z")
> [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](#): > > **Wookinpanub** , just for you: > > Cancrum Oris > > [Cancrum Oris - Google Search](https://www.google.com/search?q=Cancrum+Oris&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjr8Zjgl4DOAhVCbT4KHebTBGsQsAQIHQ&biw=1224&bih=682) Don’t wanna :eek:. Can you give me a hint? ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/24 "2016-07-19T19:17:16Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Don’t wanna :eek:. Can you give me a hint? The images aren’t _too_ bad, but it’s a really nasty oral infection, with associated gangrene. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/25 "2016-07-19T19:47:42Z")
**Blue Waffle** : Close-up of a nasty vaginal infection in which the labia resemble a mushed-up blueberry waffle. This one’s actually a hoax (the yeast infection is real, the blue coloring is food dye.) **Harlequin fetus** = [Harlequin-type Ichthyosis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harlequin-type_ichthyosis) **Krokodil** : Street name for [synthetic morphine](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desomorphine), very common in Russia, which has the inconvenient side effect of making your flesh rot off. Really gross. **Mexican Chainsaw** : Drug cartel in Mexico capture & execute two government snitches by decapitating them with a chainsaw. Really gruesome since they botch the job. This video was actually banned by LiveLeak, so you know it’s extra nasty. **Meatspin** : Viral video of two guys having anal sex where the receiving partner’s turgid member “spins” in perfectly concentric circles, accompanied by a “spin counter” which eventually displays the message: “YOU ARE OFFICIALLY GAY!” All to the tune of “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)” by Dead or Alive. Not really that offensive if gay sex doesn’t bother you. [Best reaction video on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ij6FtLno5w), especially the very end. (Safe for work.) As for duck penises…dunno, I guess some people are creeped out by six-inch corkscrew-shaped willies. Echidna penises are far more bizarre-looking. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/26 "2016-07-19T20:48:18Z")
1 Guy 1 Jar > [@coremelt](#): > > You’re missing the unholy trinity: Tubgirl, lemon party and goatse. Who HASN’T seen those by now? > [@](#): > > Also “three guys one hammer” is the name of the video that the Dnepropetrovsk maniacs made of themselves killing a man in a forest using a hammer and a screwdriver. The text description was enough for me. So basically, a snuff film? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/27 "2016-07-19T21:40:16Z")
The African Bubal [“Giant Testicle”](http://mindsparker.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Bubal7.png) Tribe (NSFW) ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/28 "2016-07-19T21:45:11Z")
But are Echidna penises prehensile? Some mallards have penii approaching a foot long; on a duck that’s about the same length. I will admit that the biological escalation between male and female ducks is one of Nature’s wonders to be sure. Thanks **bd** for saving me some typing; Blue waffle also refers to acute vaginitus, and as alluded to above was part of an internet meme a few years ago. Still nasty, though. Amblypygi are also referred to as whip spiders. Picture a daddy long legs but a foot cross and claws on the end of the foremost legs; with a face that no doubt inspired predator sans mask… If you’re squicked out by bugs this is not the droid you will be looking for. I clicked the cancrum oris link. Yuck-o. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/29 "2016-07-19T21:50:39Z")
[I Love the Fishes](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=560292) (link goes to a SDMB thread with descriptions, not the thing itself) ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/30 "2016-07-19T21:55:55Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > Lamprey eel, full facial. Lampreys are adorable. I’ll raise you “hagfish feeding” and “hagfish slime.” Like lampreys, except blind, slimy, pale, and consider the anus a proper place to start devouring living prey. Phossy jaw Radium jaw Camel spiders (Solifugae) and vinegaroons are similar to amblypygi Penile bisection A guy with two penises was in the news a year ago or so but they looked normal. At the time, the Wikipedia page for the same had a horrifying photo. It’s gone now but you can still find it if you GIS “diphallia.” It’s the red… thing… in the upper right. ---
**Author:** ![Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90ced4/32.png) [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waltzes_with_Cacti)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/31 "2016-07-19T21:56:53Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > Lamprey eel, full facial. Lamprey eel full face is certainly off-putting but for a _really_ disgusting experience, try gazing on them _en masse_: [Lamprey Eels at Willamette Falls - 1913](http://www.oldoregonphotos.com/lamprey-eels-at-willamette-falls-1913.html) The creatures are apparently edible. There was a medieval English king who died of a surfeit of lampreys. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/32 "2016-07-19T21:57:06Z")
If you want to look up information about the White House, you know, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, where President Obama is currently in residence, don’t forget to type .gov after White House. If you type .com you get a soft porn site. Or at one time you did. It was all decorated in red, white and blue, and had click sites within that had titles like “First Ladies of Lust” I got out of there as fast as I could. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/33 "2016-07-19T23:33:22Z")
I was talking with a friend about the structure of firefighter boots, so that they are able to withstand the fire. Somewhere in there I ran Google Images on “fireman” or “fireman outfit” or something like that, and was greeted with wall-to-wall pictures of largely disrobed beefcake men in firefighter outfits. So…unless you’re into disrobed men, I’d suggest being careful of your usage of this word in Google searches. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/34 "2016-07-20T00:46:21Z")
My father used to train bloodhounds. He needed a new harness for his dog, and learned the error of his ways when he googled leather harnesses. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/35 "2016-07-20T01:29:45Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > Somewhere in there I ran Google Images on “fireman” or “fireman outfit” or something like that, and was greeted with wall-to-wall pictures of largely disrobed beefcake men in firefighter outfits. > [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > My father used to train bloodhounds. He needed a new harness for his dog, and learned the error of his ways when he googled leather harnesses. There’s a popular Minecraft player on YouTube named “Vintage Beef.” It’s not so much a problem now, but back in the day, a Google image search on his username was…interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/36 "2016-07-20T01:46:08Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > The African Bubal [“Giant Testicle”](http://mindsparker.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Bubal7.png) Tribe (NSFW) The site’s description sounds like BS; I think they just added a photo of a tribe suffering from elephantiasis. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/37 "2016-07-20T01:49:16Z")
> [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](#): > > The creatures are apparently edible. There was a medieval English king who died of a surfeit of lampreys. There’s also a story that a Roman nobleman maintained a lamprey pool into which he would throw slaves as a punishment: [Vedius Pollio - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vedius_Pollio) ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/38 "2016-07-20T01:54:32Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > I was talking with a friend about the structure of firefighter boots, so that they are able to withstand the fire. > > Somewhere in there I ran Google Images on “fireman” or “fireman outfit” or something like that, and was greeted with wall-to-wall pictures of largely disrobed beefcake men in firefighter outfits. > > So…unless you’re into disrobed men, I’d suggest being careful of your usage of this word in Google searches. you say “disrobed beefcake men” like it is a bad thing… ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/39 "2016-07-20T02:12:04Z")
Judging from another thread on here, I’ll add “anal rose” to the list. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323/40 "2016-07-20T03:07:31Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > Judging from another thread on here, I’ll add “anal rose” to the list. At least those roses don’t have thorns. :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-should-never-google/760323.md?page=3)