# Things You Shouldn't Have To Tell People **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 9, 2010, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320 "2010-02-09T19:57:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/161 "2010-02-17T20:15:36Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > **jayjay** speaks the truth Can I get a custom user title of that phrase? šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/162 "2010-02-17T20:20:37Z")
> [@CutterJohn](#): > > Maybe they want a good seat too? If youā€™re sitting in the middle row where there is an aisle, the one with all the legroom and sometimes a railing to put your feet on, Iā€™m going to sit next to you. Not directly next to you, of course, as Iā€™m certain you donā€™t wish to cuddle, but thats prime real estate, donā€™t be surprised if people pick it as well. Yeah, I can see if thereā€™s a railing, and I wouldnā€™t fault anybody for that (as long as they donā€™t literally sit right next to me, as you pointed out. Those are the good seats indeed, and there arenā€™t many of them to go around. Iā€™m thinking more of a couple of our local theaters, which are _huge_. The seats are arranged in shallow semicircle curvesā€“the only aisle seats are on each end of a very long row. So if you sit near the middle of the theater in the middle of the row, then anyone sitting one row in front or behind (or even two or three) is going to get pretty much exactly the same view as I do, and identical amenities (no more leg room, no rail, etc.). In this case, and again assuming that the theater is nearly empty, I do consider it a bit rude to sit down next to me with one buffer seat. Nothing Iā€™m going to say anything about, of course (Iā€™d do that if you sat next to me, but Iā€™d probably just make a Marge Simpson noise and pointedly move over) but it still is a bit irksome. Essentially itā€™s a philosophical thingā€“I donā€™t have an issue with people doing whatever they want to do if thatā€™s their preference. What I donā€™t like is ā€œherd mentalityā€: ā€œOoh, the place is almost empty but there are _other people_ there! I must be near them!ā€ Um, no. Thanks, but no. Go sit over there. Or I will. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/163 "2010-02-17T20:20:54Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Can I get a custom user title of that phrase? šŸ˜ƒ For only $8 it can be yours for a year! ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/164 "2010-02-17T20:54:17Z")
It is rude to interrupt someone to tell them that they look like someone else. The person interrupted didnā€™t ask for your opinion. The interrupted person doesnā€™t get a prize for looking like someone else. Would you interrupt someone to tell them they are skinny or fat? Control the impulse to blurt our everything that comes to mind. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/165 "2010-02-18T02:08:37Z")
> [@](#): > > If yā€™all want to get testy with each other on this, feel free to start a Pit thread for round eleventy billion and one ā€“ but in the current thread, which is about things that there should be no argument about, a little less hostility would be appreciated. > > Thanks, > > twickster, MPSIMS moderator So sorry, I didnā€™t know it had _ever_ been discussed before. I didnā€™t realize it had such a huge message board history. Donā€™t know how I have missed it in the past, just lucky I guess. Sorry to have reopened an old wound, but I honestly had no idea. My bad. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/166 "2010-02-18T03:06:54Z")
Yea **elbows** , we shouldnā€™t have to tell you that itā€™s a sore subject and has been discussed ad nausea. šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/167 "2010-02-18T14:11:37Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Can I get a custom user title of that phrase? šŸ˜ƒ If youā€™re too cheap to cough up for a membership and custom title subscription :p, you can always add it to your sig. Well, that, and you donā€™t mind being one of at least a half dozen people who quote me in their sigs. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/168 "2010-02-18T14:18:01Z")
Back to the OP: If no one laughs at your jokes, maybe itā€™s time to stop telling them. ---
**Author:** ![kapri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4491bb/32.png) [@kapri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapri)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/169 "2010-02-18T14:22:35Z")
If youā€™re a student, please put your name on assignments you turn in, and if you donā€™t, please donā€™t tell me you didnā€™t realize you had to put your name on your paper because it wasnā€™t on the rubric. Aaarrgghh. ---
**Author:** ![wolf-alice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9e8a1a/32.png) [@wolf-alice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf-alice)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/170 "2010-02-18T14:42:59Z")
Just didnā€™t show up, **Really Not All That Bright**. I wasā€¦ Surprised. I mean, after Iā€™d finished shaking hands with and kissing and being congratulated by fifty thousand people, and dancing and smiling and eating hummus and having a honeymoon and all that, I was surprised. I thought about it quite a bit ā€“ I am ninety-nine point nine percent sure that I hadnā€™t done anything to offend these people (and if I had, I donā€™t think that was the time or the method for them to passively-aggressively declare it). They were all old school friends. Weā€™d hung out pleasantly, on and off, over the years, and I thought a wedding would be a good chance to catch up properly. They agreed. Enthusiastically! And thenā€¦ Nothing. It was a low-drama wedding, too, because Iā€™ve considered how it could have been my fault from every conceivable angle. Local, convenient, ā€œcome and hang out in a nice bar and weā€™ll have a drink and some hummusā€, sort of thing. No pressure. No Bridezilla demands, I swear to you! Funny business, that. Hurtful, too, if think about it. But Iā€™m too busy being happy to be wed to think about it, so meh. Their loss. The hummus was _superb_. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/171 "2010-02-18T16:46:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Yea elbows, we shouldnā€™t have to tell you that itā€™s a sore subject and has been discussed ad nausea. šŸ˜› Iā€™m not sure if this is intended to be serious, sarcastic or in humour. I did not know this was a hot button issue, I am sorry to have picked the scab, and I have apologized. I donā€™t see what else I can do. Do you mean I should search every topic before responding? Know better, just because? My apology is sincere, I was unaware this was a hot topic, and Iā€™m sorry for the hijack. I will certainly be more careful in future. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/172 "2010-02-19T16:02:36Z")
**wolf-alice** , I think itā€™s simply that people donā€™t always know how to behave civilized. I invited family and friends to Jimā€™s birthday dinner on Sunday, and requested that they RSVP so I can make the reservation - Iā€™ll give you a guess how many have responded at this point, and I can almost guarantee you that there will be at least one couple who wonā€™t respond at all, yes or no. Iā€™ll hound them tonight or tomorrow, but I shouldnā€™t have to - you shouldnā€™t have to tell people to RSVP when requested, just like you shouldnā€™t have to tell them to actually show up when they say they will. It turns a nice social thing into something awkward for everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/173 "2010-02-19T16:57:50Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Iā€™m not sure if this is intended to be serious, sarcastic or in humour. I did not know this was a hot button issue, I am sorry to have picked the scab, and I have apologized. I donā€™t see what else I can do. Do you mean I should search every topic before responding? Know better, just because? > > My apology is sincere, I was unaware this was a hot topic, and Iā€™m sorry for the hijack. I will certainly be more careful in future. Just so you know, the smiley at the end of the sentence you quoted (:P) is the equivalent of :D. Except giving a raspberry. It means the sentence preceding it is intended in a lighthearted way. \. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/174 "2010-02-19T17:06:41Z")
For people whoā€™ve use a computer every single day, at work, all day - going clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick on a program that is opening slowly or seems to be stuck will not make it open faster. In fact, it will probably slow it down. At which, they call me and ask why their computer is running so slowly, and when I get there they are still going clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick on the program, which is freezing because itā€™s trying to open itself 95 times. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/175 "2010-02-19T18:11:35Z")
> [@wolf-alice](#): > > Just didnā€™t show up, **Really Not All That Bright**. I wasā€¦ Surprised. I mean, after Iā€™d finished shaking hands with and kissing and being congratulated by fifty thousand people, and dancing and smiling and eating hummus and having a honeymoon and all that, I was surprised. This is a topic near and dear to my heart 'cause itā€™s my turn in May, and Iā€™m trying to figure out whether to overbook. šŸ˜ƒ We have space for 120 guests but there are like 350 people Iā€™d like to invite. > [@badbadrubberpiggy](#): > > For people whoā€™ve use a computer every single day, at work, all day - going clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick on a program that is opening slowly or seems to be stuck will not make it open faster. In fact, it will probably slow it down. They might be harvesting their crops in Farmville, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Imasquare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Imasquare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imasquare)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/176 "2010-02-19T23:09:44Z")
> [@Yumblie](#): > > If there are no more empty seats on the bus, and there are a bunch of people standing in the aisleway, your bag does not get its own seat. You offer your seat to someone whoā€™s standing, and put your bag on the floor. Iā€™m continually blown away by how many people donā€™t realize this. I think they do realize it. They are selfish people who donā€™t want anyone sitting next to them. ---
**Author:** ![dragoncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@dragoncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragoncat)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/177 "2010-02-20T06:17:21Z")
Well, as far as weddings go, Iā€™ve been ā€œinvitedā€ to two by word of mouth, but received no written invitation. Am I the only one who was told that wedding invitations were supposed to be in writing? (I didnā€™t go to those ones.) Another thing people shouldnā€™t have to be told ā€¦ Please, please, please turn off your cell phone during a movie, people! The woman next to me was texting throughout a film in a full movie theater. She acted really put out when I asked her to turn it off, and made no move to do so. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/178 "2010-02-20T06:22:06Z")
> [@winterhawk11](#): > > The ones who annoy me are perfectly capable young, middle aged, and late-middle-aged folks, You canā€™t determine that someone is ā€œperfectly capableā€ by looking at them. Arthritis, pulmonary conditions, heart problems, equilibrium problems, all invisible, all could cause someone to have to stop and wait until their body is able to continue on. They might be talking on a cell phone at the time. No, you canā€™t always tell the difference. Stop assuming. > [@Pullet](#): > > Sorry, that was me. The hot food always makes my nose run. So, _snerk_ unless _snork_ you want _smerp_ me sniffing _smerk_ back _snurff_ runny snot _snurr_ every _smirf_ few seconds, Iā€™m going to blow my nose. Iā€™ll try to do it as quietly as possible. No, this is not an excuse. If your nose is running in a restaurant, you get up, and you go and you blow your nose in the foyer or the restroom. **If spicy food affects you in that fashion, then donā€™t eat it in public**. Do not ever, ever, _ever_ inflict the sound of your _mucous_ on other people in a restaurant, ever. I donā€™t care why your nose is running when youā€™re in the booth behind me, I donā€™t want to be put off of my food, whether you have a cold, sinusitis or itā€™s because you just _had_ to get the kung pao. Get the food to go and do your unsanitary mid-meal nose-blowing in the privacy of your own home. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/179 "2010-02-20T19:19:32Z")
> [@Imasquare](#): > > I think they do realize it. They are selfish people who donā€™t want anyone sitting next to them. Did you mean to say, ā€œThey are selfish people who want their bags chucked down the length of the bus?ā€ šŸ˜ƒ **Dragoncat** , wedding invitations is one of the last bastions of rigourous etiquette - yes, everyone who is invited should get a written invitation. I would be very leery of a spoken invitation - you could be getting in the middle of a wedding power struggle between families and the happy couple (mom and dad want 500 people there, the couple want 50, etc.). **tumbleddown** , you would have hated my experience in a restaurant last night. A couple seated themselves so the man was about two feet away from me (at a four person table - he could have taken the far seat, but no, he did not), then proceeded to blow his nose and hawk his snot throughout my entire dinner. It wasā€¦irritating. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320/180 "2010-02-20T20:30:36Z")
> [@](#): > > If spicy food affects you in that fashion, then donā€™t eat it in public. Do not ever, ever, ever inflict the sound of your mucous on other people in a restaurant, ever. I donā€™t care why your nose is running when youā€™re in the booth behind me, I donā€™t want to be put off of my food, whether you have a cold, sinusitis or itā€™s because you just had to get the kung pao. Get the food to go and do your unsanitary mid-meal nose-blowing in the privacy of your own home. Hmm let me thinkā€¦ No. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-people/528320.md?page=10)