# Things you shouldn't say -- things you shouldn't even think. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 28, 2001, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-things-you-shouldnt-even-think/56223 "2001-02-28T16:24:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-things-you-shouldnt-even-think/56223/61 "2001-03-02T14:05:39Z")
Another warped sense of humor person checking in. My supervisor is married to a guy who wins the world’s “Biggest Pain in the Ass” award. When he was operated on for hemmoroids, the jokes wrote themselves. My favorite observation: He’s even a pain in the ass to himself. When a co-worker threw a cigar butt out his car window and it came back in the back, set the car on fire, and killed him, I was asking “What kind of a car did he drive: a Firebird or a Blazer?” ---
**Author:** ![Ivorybill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ee59a6/32.png) [@Ivorybill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ivorybill)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-things-you-shouldnt-even-think/56223/62 "2001-03-02T14:42:16Z")
The set-up: My dad will be 80 this year. Thankfully he’s in good health and still sharp mentally. His driving skills, quite frankly, are SCARY. He’s got sleep apnaea and is slightly narcoleptic, so on long trips he tends to nod-off. He’s also pretty active politically, and belongs to some senior-citizen action groups. A couple of years ago he and mom came up to see us when we lived in Raleigh. Taking the interstate back from the airport, we passed a one-car accident where the driver had swerved left into the cables that divide the opposing lanes of the highway. Dad takes one look and says: “Probably D.U.I.” I reply: “Yep. Or A.A.R.P.” He didn’t speak to me for the rest of the day. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-things-you-shouldnt-even-think/56223/63 "2001-03-02T14:57:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Dogzilla \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > > > > > > You just better pray that Stevie’s not reading this thread. \*\* > > > > With what? His braille monitor? \*\* > > Perhaps a screen reader? A blind friend of mine has one and there are supposedly very few things she can’t read with it. \*\* ::sigh:: In the spirit of this thread, inappropriate jokes… I was trying to make one. Evidently it was too stupid and not obvious enough so that you all couldn’t see that my tongue was firmly planted in cheek… “It’s a JOKE, son…” ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-things-you-shouldnt-even-think/56223/64 "2001-03-02T15:23:20Z")
No one’s mentioned this one yet, so I guess my hubby and I have a pretty sick sense of humor. Remember a few years ago when those teenage kids taped themselves shooting unsuspecting pedestrians with paint ball guns? [sub]We laughed so hard at the footage. The guy on the bike was priceless![/sub] I didn’t even know Jim Varney died! ---
**Author:** ![WIGGUM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WIGGUM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WIGGUM)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2001, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-things-you-shouldnt-even-think/56223/65 "2001-03-02T15:46:42Z")
My dad and I were walking out of a convenience store a couple of weeks ago and my dad pointed out a mentally challenged man walking in who was wearing a UPS hat and jacket. Keep in mind that my father is the Supervisor of Special Education for his school district so the chuckles that followed later in the car were all in good fun. After a short pause I turned to my dad and said: “Do you know what it’s called when that guy brings you your package?..A “Special” Delivery.” My dad has been laughing about that ever since. My grandmother was blind for the last 12 years of her life, and anytime there was a questionable call during a sporting event on television, we would always ask her what she thought of the call. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-things-you-shouldnt-even-think/56223.md?page=3)