# Things you shouldn't say to a woman... but you've said **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 10, 2001, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501 "2001-10-10T03:52:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/21 "2001-10-10T14:38:11Z")
Since my Bad Ex Boyfriend isn’t here to tell you what he said to me, I’ll tell you myself. Jarbaby: God, that actress is beautiful. Don’t you think she’s beautiful? BEB: I guess…yeah she is. Jarbaby: You can say it, I know there are women more beautiful than me. BEB: I know that. But I don’t want a beautiful woman. I want you. We dated for four years. He was a real gem jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diver)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/22 "2001-10-10T14:39:54Z")
When my wife was in her ninth month of pregnancy, I asked her how come she walked like a duck. Not a good idea at all. Their memories are long, very long… ---
**Author:** ![Special\_Kay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Special\_Kay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Special_Kay)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/23 "2001-10-10T14:43:02Z")
Sitting in the car with a new friend and some one I would like to get to know better, I say to him “I was a singer in high school and MVP of my chorus”. Meaning of course that had noticed my singing and wondered why I don’t sing in college, He says to me “Oh yeah? What happened?”. He didn’t get any either. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/24 "2001-10-10T14:45:30Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Dinsdale \* > Worst brain fart to the current **Ms. D** : we were watching a movie or show with an actress “of a certain age.” **Ms. D** says, “Wow, I wish I look like that when I’m 50.” You know how I responded. **"Seeing as you don’t look that good now, what makes you think you’ll be in that much better shape when you are 20 years older?"** _ (Followed immediately by the thought, “Damn, did I say that out loud?”)\* “Current”?! Heh, not for long if you keep _that_ up. Sheesh, Dinsdale 😛 ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/25 "2001-10-10T14:51:10Z")
Not me, but the best story of this type I ever heard: While having sex with a girl doggie-style, a good friend said he whispered into her ear “I’m pretending you’re a guy”. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/26 "2001-10-10T14:51:52Z")
Picture, if you will, a young couple. A young couple named Chance. Picture this couple watching _The Dick van Dyke_ show on Nick at Nite. Picture the male half staring at Mary Tyler Moore. Listen to him say “Man…if I had that at home…” Oof. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/27 "2001-10-10T14:53:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dinsdale \* > _Worst brain fart to the current **Ms. D** : we were watching a movie or show with an actress “of a certain age.” **Ms. D** says, “Wow, I wish I look like that when I’m 50.” You know how I responded. **"Seeing as you don’t look that good now, what makes you think you’ll be in that much better shape when you are 20 years older?"** (Followed immediately by the thought, “Damn, did I say that out loud?”)_ \*\* Whatever you got for that, you richly deserved. My boyfriend has supplied a few good ones for y’all. Most things he says of a derogatory nature are entirely in jest, and I know it and give it back in spades. But sometimes he’s so obviously not joking… F’rinstance, discussing an interview I had with a company that had an on-site gym, he said: “Yeah, it’s cool and all, but then you’ll get in great shape and leave me for someone better.” Okay, on the surface, garden-variety faux-insecurity. But what _I_ heard was “You’d have to work on that body before anyone else would find you attractive.” GAH! One he vehemently denies (or believes that, if he DID say it, he was kidding) was a discussion of That '70s Show, where he compared himself to the Eric Forman character, and me to Donna. And then he said, “But she’s hotter than you are.” I replied, “Oh, thanks a lot, asshole.” And he replied, in the sorry-to-tell-the-truth-on-you voice that he often uses, “Well, she is.” WHAT THE FUCK?! I was genuinely mad about that. Am I hyper-sensitive? I don’t think so. The absolute worst ever were from an ex-boyfriend though. I said something about his Alyssa Milano obsession, and he actually said in response, “Well, you’re _okay_, but you’re no Alyssa Milano.” And he couldn’t understand what got me upset about that. I could tell you other stupid-ass stuff he’d said, but in a nutshell, he was just a jerk. The smart thing to do, in my opinion, is to _ **never compare your girlfriend/wife unfavorably with someone else. EVER.** _ Just doing my part to keep guys outta the doghouse. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/28 "2001-10-10T15:02:28Z")
I once congratulated an old girlfriend on being pregnant. She wasn’t. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/29 "2001-10-10T15:26:50Z")
Housemate in college actually made the “damn, your ears make good handles!” comment to a woman he picked up… he was \ kicked to the curb \ toot sweet… ---
**Author:** ![Hokienautic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/73ab20/32.png) [@Hokienautic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hokienautic)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/30 "2001-10-10T15:50:33Z")
I was at an office Christmas party, and a co-worker’s guest asked me if I wanted to dance. My response: Sorry, I’m not drunk enough. Unfortunately I had incorrectly remembered her as being present five minutes before when I’d explained my method of preventing alcohol overindulgence at parties, receptions, weddings, etc: When I start singing along with the music, I know I’m starting to feel the alcohol. When I start thinking “hey, I’m not THAT bad … I should get up and dance!” then I know it’s time to cut myself off. Because I _am_ that bad. All the people who were present at story-telling time laughed and thought it a great system. This person, however, NOT being present, had a look of abject pissed-offed-ness on her face. Luckily I was quickly able to make the save (over the howls of laughter from the rest of my table) and explain the reference. We never did dance, though. ---
**Author:** ![g8rguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@g8rguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/g8rguy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/31 "2001-10-10T16:57:28Z")
Fencing practice, I’m directing a bout between Laura and John, and Laura scores a point. So John wants to know what happened, because he could swear he’d hit Laura first, but nothing had registered on the scoring machine. Laura’s explanation: “John, you were flat.” (I.e. he hit her with the side of the blade, not the point, so the machine did’t register it.) Me: “He’s not the only one. Oh shit, did I say that out loud?” I’ll leave the consequences to your imaginations… ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/32 "2001-10-10T16:57:52Z")
You know, this would be a whole lot funnier to me if I didn’t keep reading along going, “Aw shit! I’ve said that too!”. Thank goodness the one’s I haven’t said are outweighing the one’s I have. Some of these are just too great!!! Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/33 "2001-10-10T17:00:45Z")
G1: “Was I good”? Me: “Incredible” G1: “Was I better than G2”? Me: “Dunno… we always had so much fun just being together that we never got around to having sex like you and I do”. “Actually, it’s not the pants that make your butt look big. I mean… it’s the mirror”. Woman: “Excuse me, did you just call me a broad”? Me: “Yes, I’m afraid I did” Woman: “Don’t you ever call a lady a broad”! Me: “I didn’t”. ---
**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/34 "2001-10-10T17:39:01Z")
My friend Jeff is a smart guy, but socially, he’s retarded. We were buying beer when he pointed out Kirstie Alley on the front of a magazine at the check-out. Jeff - God, I hate Kirstie Alley. She’s looks like such a slut. Ugly, whorey, trashy. I can’t stand her. katie - Hm. I’ve been told I look like Kirstie Alley. Jeff - ::looks at me, nods:: Oh yeah. You kinda do. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/35 "2001-10-10T18:30:46Z")
I DO! ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/36 "2001-10-10T18:31:42Z")
Only have one that stands out, but it was a doozy. Dating a girl in college for several months, things are getting serious. She was the first girl after the one who broke my heart. Needless to say there was some baggage and jealousy on her end. We’re out, and we’d been discussing her. “Am I over her” and so on, but luckily it wasn’t a fight or anything too angry. She was handling it well, and I was saying mostly the right things. Skip ahead a few hours to us in bed, naked, post-sex and talking casually. Something was said to get her angry, and we proceeded to argue about something trivial. In frustration I’d sat up on the edge of my bed with my back to her. After a few moments of silence I turn back to restate my point… “But Nikki…_(gasp)_”. And, of course, Nikki wasn’t her name. This didn’t go over real well, and she stormed out of the room (in my frat house) after getting half dressed. Eventually I chased her down, and talked her into coming back to bed. Explaining that we’d simply been discussing her earlier and I was flustered. She didn’t buy it, but we did manage to have make-up sex that night again. Nevertheless, we didn’t have any casual discussions where her name came up again. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/37 "2001-10-10T18:40:06Z")
I once wrote in an email to an ex that she was ‘more than just a warm, wet hole.’ boy did that get taken out of context. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/38 "2001-10-10T18:48:32Z")
i can’t believe i was the first one to post that! (see my last one) heres a goody: ex girlfriend was joking around about something and told me she was gonna “cut me off” sexually. i mumbled “you cant cut me off if you dont know where im gettin’ it”. the joking ended right there. another ex told me just after the first boink that she was hesitante at first because he was afraid i wouldn’t respect her afterwords. i told her “well, i didnt respect you before!” after a heavy make out session in my car, this chick invites me to her house. she tells me “you can stay there tonight, but you can’t sleep in my bed”. like an idiot, i say, “thats okay, i can fuck you on the couch!”. (went home alone that night, damn!) i got a bunch more, but… if my dick was as big as my mouth, i would be okay… ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/39 "2001-10-10T18:51:51Z")
Said to me by an ex-boyfriend: “You know, you aren’t a gorgeous woman, but you’d never know it to look at you.” What the flaming tapdancing Christ does that mean? I figured that comment meant that his IQ was too low for me to continue dating him. PS – **BigDaddyD** – Yikes! You’re saying there was a _good_ way to say that? ---
**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/40 "2001-10-10T19:03:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BigDaddyD \* > \*\*I once wrote in an email to an ex that she was ‘more than just a warm, wet hole.’ boy did that get taken out of context. \*\* Oh my God. I can’t imagine what context could possibly mold that into a compliment. **BigDaddyD** ’s got a way with the ladeez! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501.md?page=3)