# Things you shouldn't say to a woman... but you've said **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 10, 2001, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501 "2001-10-10T03:52:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/41 "2001-10-10T19:17:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by katiekilldare \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by BigDaddyD \* > > \*\*I once wrote in an email to an ex that she was ‘more than just a warm, wet hole.’ boy did that get taken out of context. \*\* > > Oh my God. I can’t imagine what context could possibly mold that into a compliment. > > **BigDaddyD** ’s got a way with the ladeez! \*\* Whats the big deal!!! Hes saying “MORE THAN”!!! Duhhh… Jeez… women. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/42 "2001-10-10T20:08:25Z")
True Confessions, huh? All right… Prologue: I really hate condoms, but there WAS a time between the onset of my puberty and my vasectomy. She asked me: Something the matter? I asked her: Is it in yet? ::empty dead silence for about 12 beats:: Her: Y’know…a long time ago I up and SWORE that I’d never ever say that to a man. Somehow it never occurred to me that I’d end up having it said to me! ::she gets up and leaves room: :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/43 "2001-10-10T20:13:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Whammo \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by katiekilldare \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by BigDaddyD \* > > > \*\*I once wrote in an email to an ex that she was ‘more than just a warm, wet hole.’ boy did that get taken out of context. \*\* > > > > Oh my God. I can’t imagine what context could possibly mold that into a compliment. > > > > **BigDaddyD** ’s got a way with the ladeez! \*\* > > Whats the big deal!!! Hes saying “MORE THAN”!!! Duhhh… Jeez… women. \*\* THANK you **Whammo**. I tried to explain it to her that way, but she wasn’t buying it. I put that in the middle of an otherwise great paragraph, reassuring her that it wasn’t just about sex, etc. It was like I hadn’t said any of those other, wonderful things about her, and she only read those three words. I also once told her that I wouldn’t complain if she woke up one day with c-cups. (She had really nice b’s. And, about a year later, after going on a different birth control, she did wind up with c’s. All’s well that ends well.) ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/44 "2001-10-10T20:15:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by katiekilldare \* > \*\*katie - Hm. I’ve been told I look like Kirstie Alley. > \*\* How YOU doing? ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/45 "2001-10-10T20:28:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > Also, when asked, “What other girls are you attracted to?”, I actually answered the question. \*\* Am I the only girl in the world who would ask that and want an honest answer, and actually truly I mean it not get upset at the answer? Geez. Sometimes I wonder how guys put up with other girls. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/46 "2001-10-10T20:58:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\*Picture this couple watching _The Dick van Dyke_ show on Nick at Nite. > > Picture the male half staring at Mary Tyler Moore. Listen to him say “Man…if I had that at home…”\*\* Yeah, that show is really dangerous because whenever you think of Mary Tyler Moore you think of her on her own show – when she was cute – and you forget how blazingly hot she was as Laura Petrie. Then when you see the show, you’re always surprised. I had almost the exact same experience just last week, but I managed to catch myself in time. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/47 "2001-10-10T21:14:08Z")
I took my ex- to a Fraternity brothers wedding where I was friends with the bride, too. Somehow, I said something to the effect of: “the bride is the most beautiful woman in the room on her wedding day” and what followed was such an incredible amount of insecurity-laden clap-trap that I almost left her on the other side of the state. Instead, we had a screaming blow-out…correction, she screamed and I tried to, calmly, rationalize that the wedding day is “special” and even ugly people are “beautiful” and all that stuff. We ended up leaving early and making the cross-state drive that night instead of staying in a hotel like we were going to. Luckily, she killed that “it’s romantic and special” shit so I won’t have that problem again. Not that bitter about it, though. ---
**Author:** ![acconav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f4b2a3/32.png) [@acconav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/acconav)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/48 "2001-10-10T21:25:16Z")
here’s a tip: don’t ever play the home version of “the newlywed game” (my ex was a board game freak and although we weren’t actually married, insisted we buy it) the first question i had to answer: “which one of your SO’s friends do you find most attractive?” i, of course, answered honestly and then _tried to justify my answer_ when she followed up with “what’s so attractive about _her_?” ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/49 "2001-10-10T21:53:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by racinchikki \* > **Am I the only girl in the world who would ask that and want an honest answer, and actually truly I mean it not get upset at the answer?** Yup. ---
**Author:** ![Corrvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbce88/32.png) [@Corrvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corrvin)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/50 "2001-10-10T21:54:58Z")
Picture the scene. I’ve just moved in with my future husband, at the beginning of our relationship. He has a roommate, also his best friend. We’re in bed. I have my mouth around his favorite erectile body part, and I’m seriously concentrating on my work here, and he says… “Hey! John! Remind me to tell you this joke later!” Loudly enough, of course, for John to hear in the other room. I looked up at him. He looked at me, REALIZED what he had done, and got this totally horrified look. So I busted out laughing and forgave him. Eventually. Of course, when we got divorced, I told the story to his new girlfriend, so that she could gently torment him with it as needed. Forgiveness is one thing. Forgetting is quite another. 😉 Corr ---
**Author:** ![EricLee31](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a183cd/32.png) [@EricLee31](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EricLee31)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/51 "2001-10-10T23:33:45Z")
First time with this particular woman, it had been HOT and heavy and more than an hour of clothed-foreplay and we’d made it to the bedroom. I didn’t think there was any question as to what was going to happen next and just as she sat on the edge of the bed, I say, “I bet I can get my clothes off faster than you!” her: “I bet you can” \ ---
**Author:** ![CheapBastid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CheapBastid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheapBastid)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/52 "2001-10-10T23:41:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Corrvin \* > \*\*and he says… > > “Hey! John! Remind me to tell you this joke later!” \*\* I know that joke! =) ---
**Author:** ![tapioca\_tundra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@tapioca\_tundra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapioca_tundra)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/53 "2001-10-10T23:56:27Z")
I’ve said just about everything that ever popped into my head. I’ve come to learn that’s not a good thing. Maybe Anticay should have thought more. EVEN if I say something GOOD it gets misinterpreted. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/54 "2001-10-10T23:59:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CnoteChris \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by racinchikki \* > > **Am I the only girl in the world who would ask that and want an honest answer, and actually truly I mean it not get upset at the answer?** > > Yup. \*\* Then… why do they ask? 😕 Why in the world ask a question if you don’t want to know the answer? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/55 "2001-10-11T00:19:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by racinchikki \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > > Also, when asked, “What other girls are you attracted to?”, I actually answered the question. \*\* > > Am I the only girl in the world who would ask that and want an honest answer, and actually truly I mean it not get upset at the answer? Geez. > > Sometimes I wonder how guys put up with other girls. \*\* No, you’re not and so do I. My best male friend, Ken, is usually the smooth one when he’s gotten to know a girl and the nervousness has worn off. But first one has to get past his “How Far Can I put My Foot In My Mouth” stage. IHOP in Wichita Falls, TX. It’s about 3 AM and we were there with our friend we had driven down to visit. Our waitress was this cute brunette that Ken was drooling over. After a little nudging from us, Ken managed to ger her phone number. HFCIPMFIMY stage successfully avoided. Next day, he was calling her from our hotel room and I was doing something and couldn’t help overhearing his end of the conversation. It was going along very well (I was so proud) and then he did it. “Do you always give your phone number out to strange men that ask for it?” I cringed and he just didn’t understand why the conversation turned frosty and she hung up shortly thereafter. It wasn’t until I was telling the story to a group of our friends, male and female, and they all cringed that he finally got it. At another point in our history he was telling a former girlfriend that their time together had been “the best $6.98 I’d ever spent.” That’s how much the box of condoms had cost. He really isn’t an ass all the time. But when he is, wow. ---
**Author:** ![tapioca\_tundra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@tapioca\_tundra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapioca_tundra)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/56 "2001-10-11T00:27:43Z")
because they THINK OUT LOUD~~~!!! reminds me, the BIGGEST argument I’ve EVER been in was about…getting one’s car fixed ALLLLL I said was “ask around for prices first” this printed out as “Kim, you’re TOO STUPID to know what YOU’RE doing, you’ll therefore never get your car fixed…and if you do, you’ll have to pay 3 times more” didn’t stay CONFINED to this topic every other thing got pulled into this and I was left needing a clerk to keep me on track see, when a guy says to other guys “I’m going to get my car fixed for $200.00” he wants somebody to say “NO, I know a place that can do a great job for $150.00” ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/57 "2001-10-11T01:24:07Z")
This is not the worst, merely the most recent. I played tennis most of the summer this summer, and I ended up playing tennis pretty regularly with an attractive young woman whom I didn’t know until we met on the court so I had never seen her in any other attire but shorts and tank top. Towards the end of the summer I saw this very well-dressed, young woman (with hat and gloves-the whole nine yards) with a muscular-looking gentleman in tow waving in my direction. Now I am middle aged and white haired so I naturally assumed this woman was waving at someone behind me so I tried to pretend I didn’t notice. This was until she (with the large gentleman still in tow) marched across the relatively crowded outdoor mall and stood in front of me and said, “What’s the matter, too good to say hi?” When she spoke, I realized it was my tennis partner. Now, I write for a living. I don’t talk for a living and this was never evident than on this day. I said, “um” two or three times and “ah” a couple of more times and then lanched into my explanation for seemingly ignoring her. “I’m sorry,” I said, clearly flustered. “I just didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.” I actually realized what I was saying and what it would sound like about the time I said the word “recognize” but there is something about a male mouth that has permission to talk to an attractive young woman that doesn’t obey intelligent commands of the brain. Everything got really quiet for a couple of seconds and then I attempted to explain what I meant and things went sort of downhill from there and…,well, we don’t play tennis any more. TV ---
**Author:** ![Ell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47774/32.png) [@Ell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ell)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/58 "2001-10-11T05:03:44Z")
**TV time** : I’m a guy and there is this girl I know from rowing. I saw her in the library one day and she said to me “I didn’t recognise you with your pants on”. I thought it was hilarious and we are still great friends. Just shows… actually I better not finish that sentence. ---
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/59 "2001-10-11T05:11:53Z")
“Your big butt is what makes your butt look big!” I don’t remember anything else that happened that day . . . 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/60 "2001-10-11T12:56:25Z")
**TV Time** : Yep. Been there, the girl was from swim class. **Arden** and **Racinchikki** –the problem was that my criteria at the time for what kind of woman I was attracted to were rather broad in scope (I was 19), so I listed off a dozen or so at first, then pointed out another dozen or so as we walked around camp… see, the words she said were, “what **type** of woman are you attracted to”, when what she thought she was asking was, “what **specific** women are you **actually** attracted to.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501.md?page=4)