# Things you shouldn't say to a woman... but you've said **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 10, 2001, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501 "2001-10-10T03:52:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/61 "2001-10-11T13:31:01Z")
Yeah, but still. If they don’t want to know the answer, they shouldn’t ask the question. Besides, one of my favorite activities is scoping out chicks with a guy, especially when we don’t know each other well. Definitely an ice breaker. ---
**Author:** ![Simon\_Met\_a\_Pieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simon\_Met\_a\_Pieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simon_Met_a_Pieman)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/62 "2001-10-11T15:08:34Z")
When leaving for the High School semi-formal dance, my then girlfriend asked. “Does this dress make me look fat?” My response? _ **"What part of you?"** _ I guess it doesn’t pay to ask for clarification sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Mats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Mats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mats)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/63 "2001-10-11T22:43:34Z")
Well, I remember a girl I was about to do nice things with… Had just gotten her sweater, bra and pants off… She had on a thong and I commented “mmm, this I like…” - that was well received. My next comment was when I got the thong off and saw how she was, well, less than well-groomed down there: “But all this fur ain’t really my cup a’ tea…” Didn’t get any that night. – Mats ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/64 "2001-10-11T23:31:03Z")
Well, I have probably said stupid things to girls (in fact, I know I have, it’s unavoidable.) But none stick out as particularly bad. But my friend has said the worst thing to a girl I have ever heard. Friend: “You are the worst combination of fat and ugly ever!” ---
**Author:** ![greenlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@greenlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greenlady)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/65 "2001-10-12T01:05:20Z")
What makes this one especially sad, is that I would bet I’m not alone having this experience. **Scene** : Me, pregnant at 8+ months. **Stranger** : Oh, you’re having TWINS! \*\*Me[b/]: No… **Stranger** : Are you SURE??? **Me** : [censored]… Hint: it’s a good idea not to even start a conversation _at all_ with a woman who looks very pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![DarkWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee59a6/32.png) [@DarkWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkWriter)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/66 "2001-10-12T03:48:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by greenlady \* > \*\*What makes this one especially sad, is that I would bet I’m not alone having this experience. > > **Scene** : Me, pregnant at 8+ months. > > **Stranger** : Oh, you’re having TWINS! > > \*\*Me[b/]: No… > > **Stranger** : Are you SURE??? > > **Me** : [censored]… > Hint: it’s a good idea not to even start a conversation _at all_ with a woman who looks very pregnant. \*\* \*\*Not to mention - “Haven’t you had that baby YET?” Said while I still looked as if I had a beach ball stuffed up my shirt. And said by EX after I had given birth to our child: “Boy, you really stink after all that. When are you going to shower?” The epidural hadn’t even worn off yet. Asshole. Sheri ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/67 "2001-10-12T13:56:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by racinchikki \* > **Am I the only girl in the world who would ask that and want an honest answer, and actually truly I mean it not get upset at the answer?** I shouldn’t have given such a quick and glib answer to this earlier… especially when I think I have an answer to it. In my case, the women that I’ve dated who’ve actually wanted to know what they looked like were about fifty-fifty. That is, about half of them actually wanted a legitimate answer and the other half wanted a ‘You look stunning, honey” regardless. But the problem with the one’s that wanted a real answer was that I wouldn’t address what they _wanted_ me to address. That is, when the women that asked me how I thought they looked, and really wanted an answer, I didn’t ‘home in’ on what they were thinking. They might be thinking their nail polish looks off, or that there’s a errant string on her dress, or that she needs to adjust this or that… basically something simple and easy to overcome. They sure as hell don’t want to hear that their hair looks ‘different’, or that her shoes don’t match, or the dress she’s wearing makes her butt look big…. Those are brutal, but often true. There’s no way she wants to hear that, and it doesn’t make any sense to tell a person that, but in my case, and I’d assume a few other guys out there case’s, instead of going with the simple, they brain-lock and say the biggie. Big mistake. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/68 "2001-10-15T04:06:48Z")
Said to me by a guy: “Looks like you gotta load in your pants.” (We were en route to a party. I was new in the area, didn’t know anyone where we were going, and was wearing baggy shorts when they were just coming into fashion.) ---
**Author:** ![dqa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dqa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dqa)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/69 "2001-10-15T05:42:08Z")
After dating for a year and a half, my girlfriend was used to my absent-minded remarks from time to time. However, her tolerance for this had a limit, reached when I was signing her name to something, and automatically asked “Do you spell your name with -y or -ie?” ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/70 "2001-10-15T06:16:44Z")
Just this afternoon, I was watching a football game with my wife. We were discussing something when I interrupted myself to shout “Damn, that cheerleader has some big legs!” She took it in stride… I think. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/71 "2001-10-15T07:20:07Z")
**cornflakes** , where I come from, “big legs” would be an insult. So unless your wife **was** the cheerleader, she shouldn’t have been insulted. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/72 "2001-10-15T07:41:14Z")
I was in the very beginning of a serious relationship with a GF… in fact… we hadn’t even been saying, “I love you” long, like a week or 2. I was talking to her on the phone and trying to watch a football game at the same time… I guess I was paying a little too much attention to the game. She was in this string of “I love you’s” and “why I love you’s” and telling me why I was the only one worth loving in the world… When my beloved Chiefs fumbled and the other team recovered. Right in the middle of her Love lamenting I **SCREAMED** “_NO! NO! NO! JESUS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET THE BALL!!!_” I then gasped in horror at what I had done and stammered some stutter when she hung up without saying a word. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Erroneous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71c47a/32.png) [@Erroneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erroneous)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/73 "2001-10-15T12:35:30Z")
Now, my girlfriend’s beautiful. She knows that I think she’s astoundingly beautiful. But she still does the “I’m so ugly” thing every now and then. Nine times out of ten I’ll go by the script (it’s not like we’re taking it very seriously, either). But once I decided I wasn’t going to play along… Her (pouting in an exaggerated manner): Why am I so ugly? Me: _shrugs_ Probably a combination of genetic and environmental factors. …I got thwapped, naturally enough. Also, she has the cutest little hint of a double chin. We were just sitting around talking and cuddling, and I reached out and gave the little chin-nubbin a squeeze. The response? “Do not EVER acknowledge the double chin again.” Same double chin got me in trouble early on in our relationship, too. I was telling her something, and it must have been a bizzare story of some sort, because at one point she recoiled her head in a surprised way, causing the skin under her chin to bunch up in rolls. Now, this happens to ANYONE but the scrawniest of waifs, and is by no means an indicator of fatness. But I learned that one still should not comment upon it. And how did I comment upon it? “Wow! You look just like Jabba the Hutt when you do that!” Again, a thwapping was in order, and I have yet to live it down. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/74 "2001-10-15T14:37:29Z")
My own jewel: (upon her complaining she was getting leered at) _“You should be flattered you can still draw that kind of attention. Did I just say that?”_ :eek: Both right and left frontal lobes tried gallantly to throw themselves on the speech centers before it could go off, but lips and tongue were already in motion. I was rightfully reminded of it for ages, including phone calls at 3am. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by racinchikki \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > > > Also, when asked, “What other girls are you attracted to?”, I actually answered the question. \*\* > > > > Am I the only girl in the world who would ask that and want an honest answer, and actually truly I mean it not get upset at the answer? \*\* > > No, you’re not and so do I. > \*\* I know at least one other such. There’s hope. And the reason, and I think we all know it, is that it’s not a query for information, it’s a _test_. The anger at getting a factual answer is not so much due to jealousy at the “others” as to annoyance at that we either haven’t learned the Relationally Correct reply or did not even realize there was going to be a test. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/75 "2001-10-15T16:23:23Z")
RACINCHIKI – > [@](#): > > Originally posted by Ethilrist: > > > [@](#): > > > > Also, when asked, “What other girls are you attracted to?”, I actually answered the question. > > Am I the only girl in the world who would ask that and want an honest answer, and actually truly I mean it not get upset at the answer? Geez. W-ell, it may be a matter of the type of answer. I asked a guy this once (back when I was young and stupid) and he said, “You’re friend Lisa is pretty cute. And your friend Sandy. And Gina isn’t really cute, but she has a _great_ ass. And that waitress down at the cafe – she’s pretty good looking. Oh! And that aerobics instructor at the gym – she is HOT! There’s this girl in one of my classes who has great breasts and wears these little sweaters . . . And what was your cousin’s name, the one we met last summer? . . .” He got in trouble not because he was honest, but because his honest answer to “What other girls are you attacted to?” was apparently “All of them.” Oh, and I was complaining one time about how this gorgeous woman at a party was getting all the attention, when my then-boyfriend, attempting to reassure me, said “A great body isn’t everything. If what I wanted was a great body, I wouldn’t be with you.” Thanks, hon. ---
**Author:** ![Maple\_Syrup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/839c29/32.png) [@Maple\_Syrup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maple_Syrup)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/76 "2001-10-15T17:00:22Z")
I once told a girl, who was trying to get close to me, that I thought she was my springer spaniel. Taken waaay outta context. Needless to say, I was sent to the “dog” house (ha ha). First post, been lurking around here for a couple of months now, yeah! ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/77 "2001-10-15T17:18:20Z")
This one wasn’t me, but the just-passed ChiDope had this delightful little nugget (names omitted to protect, etc): You’re not _small_. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/78 "2001-10-15T17:41:07Z")
I am amazed no one has yet mentioned the most obvious, most irreparably damaging thing I have have ever said to a woman that (in hindsight) I shouldn’t have said: I Do. 😉 Now since I am reasonably sure my ex doesn’t read the boards, I can authoritatively say that I have never said anything that has resulted in say…sleeping on the couch for several days. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/79 "2001-10-15T17:57:31Z")
As most of y’all know, I am a girl myself, and not a small one at that. My best buddy, who has been my best buddy since junior high, once actually said to me: “I’d kill myself if I were as fat as you.” Yes, she actually did. And funnily enough, I’d kill to BE as fat as I was when she said it, since I am a great deal fatter now. I was practically svelte at the time. That was around 17 years ago, and she has apologized ten thousand times, of course. I tease her about it to this day, though. As far as men saying stupid shit to me, there have beena few fat-related remarks over the years I could have done without, but probably the worst one came from a guy I was living with at the time who confessed to me when I pressed him about why he was so resistent to my accompanying him to a party at his family’s house, that it was because he was embarassed for them to see how fat his girlfriend was. Fortunately, I was secure enough in myself at that point in my life to ream him a new asshole for that, rather than taking it in and letting it make me feel inadequate. I almost admired him for his honesty, actually. I know there have been men I’ve dated who have felt that way and just haven’t admitted it. Perfectly content to get in bed with me, but be seen in public? Not so much. Assholes. stoid ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501/80 "2001-10-15T19:51:41Z")
Oooh, man have I had some gems. **Valkyrie** can attest I’ve put my foot so far into my mouth it’s come back out my ass. But I ain’t gonna go into those. They’re personal. I will share this one from last Sunday, however. I’d been reading the Ann Landers column for some stupid reason and read some line from a reader about how women “were not ‘home entertainment centers’ for husbands to get sex whenever they want”. I read the line aloud, agreed with it, then looked over at her and said “But sometimes I wish they’d come with remotes.” I got hit with the Employment section at the very least, and probably most of the advertisinig circulars as well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-a-woman-but-youve-said/86501.md?page=5)