# Things You want (But Would NEVER USE)? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 1, 2008, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939 "2008-07-01T18:53:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/21 "2008-07-02T02:32:09Z")
In the same vein as a cigarette case, I’d like a cigarette holder, like the ones Audrey Hepburn used in _Breakfast at Tiffanys_. I guess I could stick a candy ciggie in the end and just PRETEND to smoke it. 😉 Oh, and I’d also like one of those huge ostrich feather stripper fans, like fan dancers use. ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/22 "2008-07-02T03:50:34Z")
I am a tool Junkie and worse yet I work at a place that sells tools In my defense, I DO use a lot of them, but hell! I bought a sink wrench the other day… 20% employee discount plus sale price means I paid under $10 for it. Will probably NEVER use it… I have it in my tool room… (Yes, I have a tool room… tell me Doc, tell me straight! is my problem treatable?) its stored beside my drain tongs… One thing that IS cool about this is that all my friends know that if they need a metric hub socket, on a Sunday afternoon… they can call me… “Guy” points for that… regards FML ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/23 "2008-07-02T07:30:07Z")
I occasionally buy myself things that I wanted when I was a child, but my parents wouldn’t let me have. For instance, Sea Monkeys. I desperately wanted Sea Monkeys. And so I bought some a couple of years back, and enjoyed them, until the cat knocked over their little tank. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/24 "2008-07-02T07:46:26Z")
A yacht. My work gives me the money to buy a yacht, but my work takes all my time such that I would never have time to use it. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/25 "2008-07-02T08:22:34Z")
I like shiny kitchen appliances and gadgets for which I have absolutely no use. My idea of “cooking” is making grilled cheese sandwiches. But Kitchenaid makes a whole line of fat, shiny, aesthetically pleasing kitchen gadgets that I just WANT. I already have a can opener. I use it about a dozen times a year, if that. But I want the FAT SHINY RED ONE. The big groovy Kitchenaid stand mixer? If I ever get married I’m going to register for it, even though I may use it two or three times before I die. I want it in pink, red, or lime-green. I have a similar response to glassware. I don’t ever make “highballs” at my house. But I adore highball glasses. I adore the idea that I am the type of person who would throw an intimate cocktail party and mix drinks into highball glasses, adding ice to each one from a stainless steel ice bucket, with my stainless steel ice-tongs. I am simply not this person. But I would like to have the necessary implements. And I stare at them longingly whenever I run across them. ---
**Author:** ![bat312](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c77e96/32.png) [@bat312](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bat312)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/26 "2008-07-02T08:41:46Z")
I want a little doggie. Boy, that would piss the cats off. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/27 "2008-07-02T08:53:25Z")
I’ve always wondered what a compound of Orichalcum, Adamantium, Mithril, and Carmot would churn out… _Ahem_ I’d like a computer like the Earth Simulator in Japan (is that still the fastest or has someone made one better yet?) I wouldn’t really use it for anything, but it’d be awesome to have a super powerful simulation computer just to brag, “pfft! You think your tricked out gaming rig is awesome? Step into this large complex of warehouses for a moment if you will…” > [@GuanoLad](#): > > A friend of mine bought me a rather expensive pocket watch for my birthday, because he knew I wouldn’t appreciate it at its intended level, or use it. > > He was right. I have no idea where it is right now. Blasphemer! Pocket watches are amazing! Signed, One of the three people who actually use pocket watches. ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/28 "2008-07-02T09:01:46Z")
I want a Toyota Tundra… but I´d only use it until the gas tank was empty the first time ☹ ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/29 "2008-07-02T09:04:26Z")
I always thought those life-sized statues of superheroes and monsters at The Sharper Image stores were pretty cool. The one here in Boston had a [Batman](http://thehorrordome.com/HDSHOPPINGPROPS/LifesizeDisplays/BatmanLARGE.htm), but a really cool one in San Francisco had the Pumpkinhead monster. [Here’s a bunch more](http://thehorrordome.com/HDSHOPPINGPROPS/HDSHOPPINGLIFESIZESTATUES.htm). (Not Sharper Image though, they’re temporarily closed it seems.) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/30 "2008-07-02T13:41:56Z")
I don’t like wearing jewelry, but I’m drawn to look at it in a catalog or store. It’s just so pretty. My daughter has a top hat. She asked for it a couple of birthdays ago because she just wanted it, though she knew she’d never have a place to wear it. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/31 "2008-07-02T13:56:19Z")
A lorgnette. ---
**Author:** ![SomeUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@SomeUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SomeUserName)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/32 "2008-07-02T14:24:42Z")
A waffle maker. Every once in a while I get the craving for some good homemade waffles but I know in my heart even if I had one I would never use it since I would be just to lazy to make them. ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/33 "2008-07-02T14:39:16Z")
Oh, one of these frightfully impractical crystal clutches, shaped like a [fanciful animal](http://www.sedonastalkofthetown.com/results.cgis?catalog=&keywords=Leiber). ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/34 "2008-07-02T18:40:09Z")
One of those Google-Ad things that makes your foreskin come back. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2008, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/35 "2008-07-02T18:41:06Z")
A reproduction of Thor’s hammer with a solid iridium head. (=3x the weight of a steel head the same size) ---
**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2008, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/36 "2008-07-03T11:25:10Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] A howitzer! [/QUOTE] Personally I’ve always wondered why these super-rich people like Paul Allen etc. don’t have houses with big entrance hallways containing a genuine 88mm Anti-Tank gun pointing at the front door. How awesome would that be? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2008, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/37 "2008-07-03T11:41:22Z")
I would also like to add Lindsay Lohan to my list. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2008, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/38 "2008-07-03T11:43:15Z")
Titan II ICBM with a W-53 9-megaton yield warhead. (Okay, I might use it, but only once.) ---
**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2008, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/39 "2008-07-03T12:34:38Z")
[QUOTE=Baldwin] Titan II ICBM with a W-53 9-megaton yield warhead. (Okay, I might use it, but only once.) [/QUOTE] Any particular reason for preferring it to the SS18 Mod 2 with the 25MT warhead? Would go very well with a ‘soviet kitsch’ decor theme based around old posters, vodka and humorously klunky consumer electronics… ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2008, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939/40 "2008-07-03T12:56:50Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] I would also like to add Lindsay Lohan to my list. [/QUOTE] Would you never “use” her? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-want-but-would-never-use/454939.md?page=3)