# Things You Would Buy If They Sold Them **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 15, 2000, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431 "2000-08-15T14:31:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![egkelly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/db5fbb/32.png) [@egkelly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/egkelly)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2000, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/61 "2000-08-16T17:00:20Z")
Remember the “Orgasmatron” - from Woody Allen’s movie “SLEEPER”. I f somebody could invent this, I would buy one! Sharper Image and all the catalogs would sell a TON of em! ---
**Author:** ![Occam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Occam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Occam)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/62 "2000-08-17T01:40:40Z")
I would have beer, a pizza, and a movie delivered with one phone call. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a88e57/32.png) [@Wee\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/63 "2000-08-17T04:24:52Z")
Smaller packs of cigarettes. I don’t smoke anymore, but when I did, I didn’t always want a full pack (you know, the old," after this pack, I’m quitting" syndrome). I also know a lot of people who only smoke while drinking. Bars could make a fortune selling smokes 5 or 10 at a time. Beer in less than six packs. I have no self control, so if I buy six beers, I drink six. I wish I could just get 3 or 4 at a time. ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/64 "2000-08-17T04:40:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JamesCarroll \* > \*\*I live in Delaware so some of the may be available, but just not here. > > 1. The Mc Rib and the old Mc DLT (pre-seaweed) with the hot side hot and the cool side cool > > 2. A mobile cell phone jammer that i could plug into my car’s cigarette lighter and jam any cell phone with 100 yrds. > > 3. Apple butter and honey butter (reg and cinnamin). > \*\* You just need to come visit me! We have Mc Rib (even Jr. Mc Rib as of recently!) and all the apple butter and honey butter you could want! ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/65 "2000-08-17T05:24:22Z")
Up until about 5 years ago they had smaller packes of cigarettes. They came in 5 and 10 packs. Most tobacco companies used the 5 packs as sampler hand outs. I’m not 100% sure, but I think half packs are illegal now thanks to Mr. Bill and his left wing idiots. (I don’t smoke cigs anymore either, but Clinton is still a jerk!). I see 4 packs of Old Style, Milwaukees Best, and assorted brand of malt liquor here in Milwaukee at almost liquor store I’ve been too. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/66 "2000-08-17T12:00:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wee Man \* > \*\*Smaller packs of cigarettes…Bars could make a fortune selling smokes 5 or 10 at a time. > > Beer in less than six packs. I have no self control, so if I buy six beers, I drink six. I wish I could just get 3 or 4 at a time. \*\* I’ve seen vending machines in bars that sell cigs at something like a quater a pop. And it is possible, depending on your area, to purchase individual beers from stores, though most don’t like to do it since it leaves them with all these half-packs and onesy/twosy’s. I’d probably buy a rum and coke shot, a Long Island shot or a gin and tonic shot if they made them…some times you just don’t want the whole drink, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/67 "2000-08-17T13:00:57Z")
A menstrual extractor. A reverse microwave refrigerator/freezer. A device you couldn’t put in the bathtub to keep the water HOT while you soaked. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/68 "2000-08-17T13:31:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JimmyNipples \* > \*\*I too would want a Star Trek Holodeck. > It, of course, would be a cheap knock off too. > > Wesley Crusher would keep interupting me to ask if his bath had been drawn yet. \*\* Star Trek Holodeck? Let’s get REAL people. If I’m getting anything from Star Trek, it’s going to be a replicator. I could put in my garbage and get $100 bills. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/69 "2000-08-17T19:37:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\*A device you couldn’t put in the bathtub > to keep the water HOT while you soaked. \*\* Ummm, I can sell you as many of these as you need ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/70 "2000-08-17T20:38:12Z")
Teach wrote: > [@](#): > > It seems the OP was asking about stuff that _could_ be made and sold, such as “the burnt pieces of cheese on the edge of a pizza”, and not total fantasy items like the the Star Trek halodeck (sp?). Or ordering pizza and a movie from the same place. Talk about never-gonna-happen! > [@](#): > > -pizza pepperoni - same taste and texture as pepperoni just picked off a hot slice, but without the annoying cheese and crust and stuff Try buying the packaged pre-sliced pepperoni (usually sold next to the salami and cheese in supermarkets). Put some on a plate and microwave it, or put it in the broiler (under careful watch!) for a minute or two. > [@](#): > > -used cars with “new car” smell - I throw this one in so you don’t think I’m totally obsessed with food and drink Somebody, somewhere, sells or used to sell aerosol spray cans of “new car smell.” In fact, Cecil Adams did a Straight Dope column about new car smell just last year: [http://www.straightdope.com/columns/990528.html](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/990528.html) For me, the one thing I wish I could still buy is Betty Crocker Mug-O’-Lunch. You know how they have that instant microwave macaroni and cheese these days? Well, Mug-O’-Lunch was instant macaroni and cheese that _didn’t need microwaving_. (This was because it came out back when microwave ovens were a strange exotic high-tech toy. These days, even starving Ethiopians have microwave ovens.) You just dumped the macaroni and the cheese granules in a big mug, poured in boiling water, covered the mug with a plate (or other lid), waited 5 minutes, stirred, and POOF! Macaroni and cheese, with its own distinctive flavor. No other instant macaroni and cheese tastes like Mug-O’-Lunch did, and I associate it with SOOOOOO many memories from my early adolescence. The other one thing I wish I could still buy was Betty Crocker Noodles Romanoff with the old _two-step_ preparation method. You boiled the noodles, _drained_ the noodles, then mixed the drained noodles with butter and cheese powder and milk just like you do with Kraft[TM] Macaroni and Cheese. When Betty Crocker switched over to the one-step preparation method (where you dumped the milk, cheese mix, and butter together with the noodles and water and _then_ boiled them all), the flavor changed for the worse. Nowadays, Betty Crocker isn’t even in the Noodles Romanoff business anymore, and Pasta Roni Noodles Romanoff still uses that God-awful one-step preparation method. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/71 "2000-08-17T20:41:14Z")
Ummm, I can sell you as many of these as you need \*\* [/QUOTE] I meant COULD of course. Can’t party all night and post in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/72 "2000-08-17T21:10:13Z")
The thing I want from Star Trek would be a transporter. No more commuting!!! The replicator is a close second. No more grocery shopping or cooking. I couold just sit on my ass all the time. Heaven! ---
**Author:** ![Estrella](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Estrella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Estrella)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/73 "2000-08-18T19:55:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ssskuggiii \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > > \*\* > > Cures for breakouts and cures for PMS/Menstrual cramps > > \*\* > > You know, if you put raw egg yolk on your face and let it dry, then wash it off, it gets rid of acne. If done regularly, you won’t have to worry about it again. > -The Shadowed One- \*\* I tried this as a teenager and the smell of raw egg in the bathroom and on my skin made me gag. Ew! It might work but the smell was nasty! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2000, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/74 "2000-08-19T01:54:24Z")
That “raw egg yolk cure” sounds like it was made up by the same people who recommend that you drink your own urine. I can just imagine these people tittering when they tell you to do this. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2000, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/75 "2000-08-19T02:13:16Z")
I think that raw egg would be kind of unsanitary…salmonella, anyone? Also, Tracer, if you’re willing to cook, there’s a recipe for Noodles Romanoff in the Betty Crocker cookbook! I myself would love to make the Ice Cream Romanoff from the recipe at [http://www.alexanderpalace.org](http://www.alexanderpalace.org) ---
**Author:** ![labdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5fc32e/32.png) [@labdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/labdude)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2000, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/76 "2000-08-19T22:03:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wee Man \* > \*\*Smaller packs of cigarettes. I don’t smoke anymore, but when I did, I didn’t always want a full pack (you know, the old," after this pack, I’m quitting" syndrome). I also know a lot of people who only smoke while drinking. Bars could make a fortune selling smokes 5 or 10 at a time. > > Beer in less than six packs. I have no self control, so if I buy six beers, I drink six. I wish I could just get 3 or 4 at a time. \*\* When i was in colledge I lived in a black neighborhood, because of the cheap rent. Anyway, the corner store sold single cigarettes for 15 cents each. This was a few years ago, I guess they would sell for a quarter now. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2000, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/77 "2000-08-19T22:40:34Z")
Godd beer, now that I live in the USA … hang on, I’m in Austin … problem solved [http://www.celis.com](http://www.celis.com) ---
**Author:** ![KJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@KJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KJ)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2000, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/78 "2000-08-20T08:24:12Z")
> [@](#): > > glasses that translate voices & sounds into text handy: I think such a thing exists. I know they have voice-activated head-set computers now. If they don’t really have such a thing or it doesn’t work as well as it should-- hey! I’m a computer programmer! Why don’t _I_ make one!? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goose)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2000, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/79 "2000-08-20T21:59:56Z")
I want a reverse mmicrowave that you put pop cans in for a minute and they come out chilled. ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2000, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431/80 "2000-08-20T22:52:25Z")
Goose: Got tupperware? Find tupperware about 3 inches diameter larger than your pop can. Add ice, water, and salt. Shove can into mixture, and twirl can back and forth for about 20 seconds. Rinse, and drink. Ice cold. –Tim [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-buy-if-they-sold-them/29431.md?page=5)