# Things you would never hear Dopers say **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 1, 2000, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278 "2000-07-01T16:36:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/1 "2000-07-01T16:36:47Z")
Drain Bead came up with this one, and we tag-teamed it… This is in no order whatsoever, and if we left you out it’s only because we didn’t want to hog all of the good ones! [ul] [li] **David B** : My tarot reader says that I was abducted by aliens in a past life. I need to pray to Jesus for the answers here.[/li][li] **Esprix** : I met the woman of my dreams last night…[/li][li] **Dr Fidelius** : Oh boy! Another great MPSIMS thread![/li][li] **jenkinsfan** : Do we really need another Christian thread?[/li][li] **SanibelMan** : I got laid last night![/li][li] **Flypsyde** : I got laid last night![/li][li] **Omniscient** : I got laid last night![/li][li] **Coldfire** : I’ll have a Coors Light.[/li][li] **ChiefScott** : 😃 😕 🆒 :eek: :o ☹ ;j :mad: :rolleyes: 🙂 😛 :wally ;)[/li][li] **Manhattan** : Green Acres is the place to be…[/li][li] **NuVoDaDa** : I disagree.[/li][li] **kellibelli** : I really miss Brithael…[/li][li] **pldennison** : I really miss Phaedrus…[/li][li] **Byzantine** : I really miss Mark Serlin…[/li][li] **Falcon** : Mom and I spent another great weekend together![/li][li] **Cecil Adams** : I’m not sure… Maybe you should ask Marilyn Vos Savant…[/li][li] **Krispy Original** : GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL!! Go Manchester United![/li][li] **handy** : Typically, 2.5 - 3 volumes of an ethanol/acetate solution is added to the DNA sample in a microcentrifuge tube, which is placed in an ice-water bath for at least 10 minutes. Frequently, this precipitation is performed by incubation at -20C overnight. To recover the precipitated DNA, the tube is centrifuged, the supernatant discarded, and the DNA pellet is rinsed with a more dilute ethanol solution. After a second centrifugation, the supernatant again is discarded, and the DNA pellet is dried in a Speedy-Vac.[/li][li] **Libertarian** : The government should save Social Security at all costs![/li][li] **Alphagene** : Last night I was having nightmares, so I had to sleep with my Care Bear![/li][li] **DoctorJ** : Would you like fries with that?[/li][li] **Mullinator** : How’s the weather up there?[/li][li] **cmkeller** : This is the best Bacon Cheeseburger I ever had![/li][li] **Peta Tzunami** : I had to send my T-bone back. It wasn’t rare enough![/li][li] **Jophiel** : You mean there’s a Straight Dope Chat? How do you get there?[/li][li] **Ed Zotti** : Hey Melin, the next round’s on me![/li][li] **Eve** : What’s your favorite episode of _Friends_?[/li][li] **UncleBeer** : I’ll have a Coke, please. I’m always the designated driver.[/li][li] **MrCynical** : Call me a prude, but…[/li][li] **SqrlCub** : Leonardo DiCaprio is SO HOT![/li][li] **Polycarp** : Blessed be.[/li][li] **Gaudere** : The Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it![/li][li] **Aha** : I hate to draw attention to myself.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/2 "2000-07-01T16:44:43Z")
You fergot: **Satan** : Go Red Sox! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/3 "2000-07-01T17:10:28Z")
**Drain Bead:** He’s yummy! A crew cut and pocket protector too! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/4 "2000-07-01T17:15:42Z")
**Vestal Blue:** Go Navy! Beat Air Force! ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/5 "2000-07-01T17:19:58Z")
**TVeblen** - Screw calming things down and returning to rational discourse. I’m here to throw fuel on the fire! **DRY** and/or **Bratman007** - Please, ladies. I’m not interested in anything other than getting my questions answered here. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/6 "2000-07-01T17:20:50Z")
**Slug Signorino:** Where’re my pastels and watercolors? ---
**Author:** ![fnord1966](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ad7895/32.png) [@fnord1966](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fnord1966)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/7 "2000-07-01T17:22:03Z")
Would it be inapropriate to do a Wally one? ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/8 "2000-07-01T17:23:21Z")
**Silo** - I’m seriously considering seeing what celibacy has to offer … ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/9 "2000-07-01T17:29:40Z")
**Satan:** I just got an afro today. ---
**Author:** ![fnord1966](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ad7895/32.png) [@fnord1966](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fnord1966)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/10 "2000-07-01T17:31:30Z")
WallyM7: What a cute little gerbil. Can I hold it? ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/11 "2000-07-01T17:42:22Z")
**fnord1966:** Pshaw! I love doing it, so you don’t have to _pay_ me two bucks to use proper capitalization and punctuation! ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/12 "2000-07-01T17:44:03Z")
**Zion** : Fuck you, goat felcher! ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/13 "2000-07-01T17:48:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > **Silo** - I’m seriously considering seeing what celibacy has to offer … > \*\* This rocks! What would GaWd never say?(seeing as I’m not imaginative to create my own) -Sam ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/14 "2000-07-01T18:06:39Z")
Ooh! Someone do me, too! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/15 "2000-07-01T18:08:43Z")
**GaWd:** You really turned on ChiefScott, **MaWm**. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/16 "2000-07-01T18:17:23Z")
Brunetter: I hate computers. ssskuggiii: I’m a very shy, timid girl. Medea’s Child: I’m a firm believer in a physical examination every six months. Falcon: Mom and I had the funnest time! She didn’t criticize anything I did! ---
**Author:** ![Easy\_Tokyo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71c47a/32.png) [@Easy\_Tokyo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Easy_Tokyo)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/17 "2000-07-01T18:17:49Z")
**MysterEcks** I never got bracketed by **Easy Tokyo** ---
**Author:** ![beakerxf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc79bd/32.png) [@beakerxf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beakerxf)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/18 "2000-07-01T18:21:19Z")
**waterj2** : You know, sometimes I really admire those trolls who steal identities to make a point. That takes a lot of courage. **Lynn Bodoni** : Oh, I can’t handle real chocolate. Way too rich for me. I prefer that low-fat, low-cal chocolate-like stuff. ---
**Author:** ![lolagranola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/19 "2000-07-01T18:21:48Z")
I really need to post here more so someone can do mine. _sniff_ ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/20 "2000-07-01T18:22:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > **GaWd:** You really turned on ChiefScott, **MaWm**. > \*\* True Dat Chieffy! 😃 Good one! -Sam [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278.md?page=2)