# Things you would never hear Dopers say **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 1, 2000, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278 "2000-07-01T16:36:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/101 "2000-07-03T00:23:57Z")
Awww, Bosda, baby, you know I love you ! ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/102 "2000-07-03T01:03:22Z")
**Omniscient:** Get you hand off my ass, woman! I’m not in the mood! **IgnetiuosTReilly:** You know, Nacho4Sara, I believe you are right about that… **WallyM7:** I’m sick of all these stupid jokes. Can we just be serious for a minute, people!? –OR– No, I’ve never publically humiliated myself because of cobwebs or gerbils - are you saying you have? Dork! **Pepperlandgirl:** Poertry schmoetry! I’m so sick of people and their damn emotions! **Falcon:** Shut up, damnit! I don’t want to listen to your problems, it’s my turn to bitch and moan! **Purplebear:** I’m soooo glad Mr. Bear is gone for the day. I was really getting sick of him! **Silo:** As always, I have nothing to contribute to this thread so I will refrain from posting! **aha:** All I did of interest today was take a shower, so I’ll just keep my mouth shut. \*\*B\_Line12:\*\*I hate women who throw themselves at me! Silly hoochies! Leave me alone! –OR– Ya know, I can’t think of an interesting thread topic that will earn hundreds of responses and cause approx. 45 new members to join today, so I’m gonna go play some Parcheesi. **Eve:** I highly recommend the new KoRn album. It’s delicious. I think I want to marry that Johnny babe! That’s all for now, people! Oh, one more: \*\*Nacho4Sara:\*\*Ya know, I don’t think I’ll argue this point till I’m blue in the face…I’ll just let it die, because I don’t always have to be right! ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/103 "2000-07-03T01:21:40Z")
**Mullinator** – Hi. I’m knocking on doors today, trying to raise campaign funds for Al Gore and Hilary Clinton … ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/104 "2000-07-03T01:24:55Z")
**Omni, when I enter chat:** \*Omni pats Ruffian’s shoulder **Michi** You know, that cat won’t stop sharpening his claws on the sofa. Well, guess I’ll just put him to sleep. **Shayna** : Just follow my car out of the Universal parking structure, c’mon, it’ll be _easy_ to find me afterwards. ( 😉 ) **Serlin/Sentinel/etc** : Why yes, I _am_ Mark Serlin, Sentinel, RainbowCSR, Nitwatch… **Cyb/Johnsbury/etc** : Well, looks like I was just thoroughly wrong about that. Sorry, I acted like a complete jerk; that was wrong of me. **MrCynical** : You know, I just don’t like women. Whaddya know, I think I really want to kiss a man! **Satan** : I miss heatherlee. **DrainBead** : I miss heatherlee. **zette** : Oral sex techniques? Sorry, can’t offer any. ( 😉 ) **pricciar** : No, no cherries for me please. They’re gross! **JohnnyLA** : Man, I just _love_ Southern California life. **Silo** : Oh, enough talk about me. **kellibelli** : Watch your mouth! I can’t abide such foul language around me. **Catrandom** : Gee, that sure was a great jazz concert, eh, Shayna? ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/105 "2000-07-03T01:33:06Z")
**MoosieGirl** : Let’s party! Pass me the Perrier! **Satan** : So, who else has any questions about my ass? I’d be delighted to answer them! **SqrlCub** : If you think I’m the in-your-face kind of fag that shares all sorts of weird sexual habits with innocent straight posters, think again. My sex life is none of your business. And I’m not a gay spokesperson! **Exprix** : Neither am I. If you people keep asking me about felching, I’ll just go straight. OK?? **CanadianSue** : I’m so pissed off, I won’t even put a “LOL” in my post. **ChiefScott** : that Brithael is one righteous dude. I wanna hug him. **Mullinator** : Jesus, is there anything that you people won’t post? Show some dignity, and leave your indoor plumbing stories at home! **UncleBeer** : This troll seems funny. Let’s cut him some slack and see what happens.\*\* **AlphaGene** : Let me tell you about last night. It was wonderful: just me, my girlfriend, a nice bottle of white wine and a cosy Julio Iglesias record. Hmmm… **heatherlee** : Please allow me to explain, in full detail and correct grammar, my deepest feelings for the love of my life, Satan. I will also post a link to my homepage, where you can view pictures of me in tasteful outfits. **Sentinel** : Coldfire, you are right. I AM an asshole that needs to be squicked by a mammoth. **John-John** : Hillary is SUCH a babe! And Coldfire is my bestest friend, because he always likes my double nickname stunts so much! **John Larrigan** : I’m rooting for the Dutch team next World Cup. They’re SO talented! ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/106 "2000-07-03T01:59:22Z")
**Coldfire** : Lean, mean muscle machines are just pathetic sublimations for male sexual anxiety. I personally get a nosebleed in anything faster or glitzier than a rusted, 4-cylinder car–with 2 flat tires. Veb ---
**Author:** ![timmar68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/97f17d/32.png) [@timmar68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/timmar68)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/107 "2000-07-03T02:16:07Z")
OK, guys, I’m far from new. Let’s see one about me. ---
**Author:** ![Danielinthewolvesden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Danielinthewolvesden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danielinthewolvesden)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/108 "2000-07-03T02:43:45Z")
Beaker: I did you right after you did me. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/109 "2000-07-03T03:22:52Z")
Chief sez: > [@](#): > > \*\* > **Falcon:** Hey mom! Can ya make me a peanut buter and fried banana sandwich? > \*\* **ChiefScott:** No, I don’t mind being out here for 6 months without a woman. Really. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/110 "2000-07-03T03:59:13Z")
**Falcon:** Naw. I don’t chase the chief around the board posting just after each and every one of his posts. And I have no intention of flying out to that big ol’ ship of his and giving him a little _wink, wink, nudge, nudge_ what for – I couldn’t handle his awesome manliness! ---
**Author:** ![beakerxf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc79bd/32.png) [@beakerxf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beakerxf)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/111 "2000-07-03T04:36:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Beaker: I did you right after you did me. 😛 > \*\* and I was touched that you did. 🙂 Oh, and Santa Ana was da bomb! **red\_dragon60** : Last night, I was just wiling away the hours smoking pot, like usual. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/112 "2000-07-03T05:28:44Z")
Coldfire: Neil Peart is NOT the greatest drummer ever, Ringo Starr is! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/113 "2000-07-03T05:44:15Z")
**pepperlandgirl:** I have never, nor will ever, bait and tease **Coldfire** about his love and devotion to the greatest Canadian rock band of all time. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/114 "2000-07-03T05:48:16Z")
LOL Chief…LOL ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/115 "2000-07-03T05:49:31Z")
**ChiefScott:** And I hate having an attractive woman flirt with me. Really. And I’d never try and inflate my manliness in flirting with her. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/116 "2000-07-03T05:57:47Z")
vanilla: I really gotta lose some weight! ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/117 "2000-07-03T05:58:58Z")
pepperlandgirl: I’ve converted to Rastafarianism. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/118 "2000-07-03T06:08:33Z")
FriendofGod: You know, David B really has a point. I totally agree with him! ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/119 "2000-07-03T06:24:07Z")
Haven’t been done yet. I promise I will be brave! ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278/120 "2000-07-03T06:30:16Z")
**Falcon** : I love my job. I wish I could stay here forever. In fact, I just signed a contract, I will stay here for many years at the same exact generous salary. **VogueVixen** : I have to go. I don’t want to hear your filthy sex talk. And, I can’t imagine getting into a confrontation. **Kyla** : I can’t wait to move to Southern California. I simply love it down there such beauty. **Narile** : Despite it’s inconvinience, I welcome a tax. Its what makes this world a great place to live. pat [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-would-never-hear-dopers-say/24278.md?page=7)