# Things You'd Buy If They Actually Existed **URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076 **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share **Created:** [January 29, 2012, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076 "2012-01-29T10:51:02Z") **Posts on this page:** 20 **Page:** 1
### Author: ![BeaMyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@BeaMyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeaMyra) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/1 "2012-01-29T10:51:02Z")
There is a YouTube spoof of “[Tickle Me Elmo](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bX9OLjvTV9k)” called “Tickle Me Emo” The funniest part is, if this actually existed, I’d buy it What are some things you’d actually want to buy, if they actually did exist. Of course “Simpsons” fans would want hover bikes ---
### Author: ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/2 "2012-01-29T10:54:07Z")
Mr Fusion ---
### Author: ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/3 "2012-01-29T11:00:43Z")
DVDs of _Inspector Spacetime_. ---
### Author: ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/4 "2012-01-29T11:57:35Z")
> [@BeaMyra](#): > > Of course “Simpsons” fans would want hover bikes And “Nuts 'N Gum”. And Skittlebrau. And Tuborg, the beer of Danish kings. And the world-famous Moon Waffle. And red-hot, Texas-style ginger ale. And corn nog. And tomacco. And chutney-flavored squishees. And Krusty Partially-Gelatinated-Non-Dairy-Based-Gum-Beverages. And Bonestorm. (Or maybe Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge if it’s not sold out.) ---
### Author: ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/5 "2012-01-29T14:52:28Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > And Tuborg, the beer of Danish kings. [I’m bracing myself for a possible whoosh here, but…](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuborg_Brewery) ---
### Author: ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/6 "2012-01-29T17:49:56Z")
Sims 2 has this nifty little money tree you get as a reward. All you have to do is water it to harvest about 40 bucks a day. I’d like three please. That’s all I need. I’m not greedy. ---
### Author: ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/7 "2012-01-29T17:57:48Z")
A [noteslate](http://www.noteslate.com/). Sadly they’ve been “working on prototypes” for upwards of a year now and I seriously doubt it’ll ever make it to market. ---
### Author: ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/8 "2012-01-29T18:01:45Z")
[Rocket Teakettle](http://www.pressofatlanticcity.com/life/article_3888b02e-3907-5017-ae28-47f7edd3df9e.html) - briefly available in the late 90s, now expensive collector’s editions. If they started making them again, I’d buy one in a heartbeat. ---
### Author: ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/9 "2012-01-29T18:17:26Z")
I want some insulin that I don’t have to inject. Maybe something that I could just sniff. Oh, WAIT a [minute](http://diabetes.webmd.com/news/20071018/pfizer-quits-inhaled-insulin-exubera)… ---
### Author: ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/10 "2012-01-29T19:29:05Z")
I want a periscope for my car so I can see what’s up ahead when I’m stuck behind a behemothmobile. ---
### Author: ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/11 "2012-01-29T21:06:50Z")
I would pay up to $15 for a device that could spread cold butter on bread without tearing it. Don’t want no “spreadable butter” or for that matter non-dairy spread. I want a way to put a nice uniform layer of real butter, at refrigerator temperature, on bread. ---
### Author: ![Barrett\_Bonden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@Barrett\_Bonden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrett_Bonden) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/12 "2012-01-29T21:18:19Z")
Dibs on the Trunk Monkey Theft Retrieval System! ---
### Author: ![sco3tt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@sco3tt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sco3tt) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/13 "2012-01-29T21:34:52Z")
> [@FlyByNight512](#): > > A [noteslate](http://www.noteslate.com/). Sadly they’ve been “working on prototypes” for upwards of a year now and I seriously doubt it’ll ever make it to market. I’ve had a [Boogie Board](http://www.improvelectronics.com/us/en/) for about a year now which seems very similar in concept. They’re [readily available on Amazon](http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=bl_sr_electronics?_encoding=UTF8&node=172282&field-brandtextbin=iMPROV%20Electronics). ---
### Author: ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/14 "2012-01-29T21:44:34Z")
Orgasmatron. ---
### Author: ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78) #### Post date: [January 29, 2012, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/15 "2012-01-29T21:46:00Z")
A car you don’t actually need to know how to drive to drive. ---
### Author: ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva) #### Post date: [January 30, 2012, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/16 "2012-01-30T00:00:34Z")
A hoverboard. ---
### Author: ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est) #### Post date: [January 30, 2012, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/17 "2012-01-30T00:10:30Z")
A flying car. And a trip to the Space Hilton on the Pan Am shuttle. It’s the 21st Century, dammit! ---
### Author: ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith) #### Post date: [January 30, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/18 "2012-01-30T00:12:24Z")
A robot that could cook and clean ala the Jetson’s. ---
### Author: ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99) #### Post date: [January 30, 2012, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/19 "2012-01-30T00:18:23Z")
A Tardis. /end-of-thread ---
### Author: ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB) #### Post date: [January 30, 2012, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/20 "2012-01-30T00:31:15Z")
A belt-fed fully automatic ten gauge shotgun. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076.md?page=2)