# Things You'd Buy If They Actually Existed **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 29, 2012, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076 "2012-01-29T10:51:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Noel\_Prosequi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b19c9b/32.png) [@Noel\_Prosequi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noel_Prosequi)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/101 "2012-02-12T10:17:17Z")
A Firebolt. Hell, I’d take a crappy Nimbus 2000 at a pinch. Imagine the airfare savings. Even just commuting would be aced if you could fly over traffic. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2012, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/102 "2012-02-13T23:23:31Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > Suitjamas The first result for “suitjamas” on google is [suitjamas.com](http://www.suitjamas.com/). How long did you spend looking? ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/103 "2012-02-17T03:17:06Z")
I don’t know how this thread can discuss Simpson’s-related products without referencing [The Canyonero](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4QgWRycd7I). I, personally, would love a squirrel-squashin’, deer-smackin’ drivin’ machine. More seriously, I agree with wanting a life-recorder, but I’d also be really interested in a true dream catcher – something that could record my dreams so I could watch them later. The few dreams I do remember are pretty damn weird. If I could watch 'em all, I don’t think I’d ever need TV for entertainment again.\* And yeah, I’d stand in line – hell, I’d camp out for Black Friday – to buy my own teleporter. \*As long as I didn’t have to watch the one where I’m lying in bed observing James Brown having sex with two women. That one was just creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Accident](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Mr.Accident](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Accident)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/104 "2012-02-17T04:47:42Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > I’d also be really interested in a true dream catcher – something that could record my dreams so I could watch them later. [/SIZE] That would be the best invention ever. I have all kinds of interesting dreams\*, but rarely ever get to remember them. \*Except the ones with the giant lobsters. Last thing I want to dream about is being chased through a trailer by station wagon sized lobsters. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/105 "2012-02-17T13:32:54Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Hell, why stop there? How about a floodlight mounted above your rear window, so with a flip of the switch you can blind the lousy bums who are shining their brights in your rearview mirrors? You could buy [this](http://www.amazon.com/Humvee-HMV-40MIL-110-Million-Emergency-Flasher/dp/B003ARTG5K/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1329485473&sr=8-2) and some Vice Grips and you’re set! ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/106 "2012-02-17T16:36:30Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > I don’t know how this thread can discuss Simpson’s-related products without referencing [The Canyonero](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4QgWRycd7I). I, personally, would love a squirrel-squashin’, deer-smackin’ drivin’ machine. Perhaps you can still get an [International XT](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_CXT), essentially a semi-truck cab converted into a monster pickup. ---
**Author:** ![slowlearner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@slowlearner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slowlearner)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/107 "2012-02-18T04:17:43Z")
can of cat food the cats can open. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/108 "2012-02-18T04:36:08Z")
> [@slowlearner](#): > > can of cat food the cats can open. Are you kidding? The one reason they need us alive?? ---
**Author:** ![Number](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/number/32/242_2.png) [@Number](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Number)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076/109 "2012-02-18T04:58:47Z")
Yeah, plus, don’t you know that when it comes to fish, cats have [no concept of portion control](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkjbMoj0JY4)? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-buy-if-they-actually-existed/611076.md?page=5)