# Things you'd like to see on Star Trek... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2000, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875 "2000-11-06T00:48:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/41 "2000-11-06T16:31:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kilt-wearin’ man \* > \*\*As far as the Fed “Attack Fighters” go (that’s what they called 'em in the big fleet battle) I seem to recall a squadron taking out a Cardassian cruiser. Not too shabby. Kinda like torpedo bombers taking out Japanese carriers at Midway. \*\* [historical hijack] Actually, you better hope they’re not like that at all. At Midway, the 1st torpedo planes to attack were Torpedo 8 from _Hornet_ They were all shot down, only one man, and Endign Gay, survived. The torpedo planes from _Enterprise_ were next, they had similar luck, altough several of them survived. _Yorktown_ was the only ship to get her strike in intact ( torpedo, dive bomber AND fighter squadrens together.) Her torpedo planes attacked next, and had no better luck then the previous attacks. More of them survived for the simple reason that Jimmy Thatch led his Wildcat fighter planes down to cover them.( an interesting historical side note. In reading accounts of the battle, you will often hear it said that the torpedo planes drew all the covoring Japanese fightes down to water level. This is true. What you almost never hear is that it was Thatch’s fighters that KEPT them there. The Zero was the finest naval fighter of that time, and had plenty of time after the last torpedo attack to climb and disrupt the dive bombers from _Yorktown_ and _Enterprise_ who were about to change the course of the war. They didn’t because they were too busy with Thatch) Inspite of the incredible bravery and sacrifice of these valient men, not a single torpedo hit was scored on the Japanese ships. Moment’s later, however, _Yorktown’s_ dive bombers roared down on _Kaga_, followed almost immediately by those from _Enterprise_,attacking _Soryu_ and _Akagi_. Five minutes later, 3/4 of Nagumo’s carriers were in flames. [/historical hijack] ---
**Author:** ![idiotb0x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecae2f/32.png) [@idiotb0x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/idiotb0x)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/42 "2000-11-06T16:44:36Z")
I’d like to see the bits where all of the lesser crew members nominated to be part of the next away team draw lots to see who will actually go, and to see who will wander off to investigate the strange noises coming from around the corner. They must have twigged by now that no-one above the rank of liutenant ever comes back from the mission… And I’d like to see an explanation of why starfleet still trains doctors despite the fact that all illnesses are now curable by waving a tricorder at them, or, if psychological and involving a coma, via some personal struggle involving an entire episode. ---
**Author:** ![Gregor\_Samsa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@Gregor\_Samsa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gregor_Samsa)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/43 "2000-11-06T16:57:56Z")
I’d like to see Capt. Kirk (intergalactic slut that he is) come down with an STD. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/44 "2000-11-06T17:13:49Z")
I’d like to see the Prime Directive repealed. Conescending, pate4rnalistic piece of legal crap. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/45 "2000-11-06T17:15:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Olentzero \* > \*\*I think it’s been said indirectly before, but I’m gonna go with the out-front reply: > > Seven of Nine’s tits. \*\* I second that. She could do a nude hot oil wrestling match with Deanna Troi or B’elana Torres. On a serious note, I would like to see a show on sexual depravity. Have them encounter a race of child pornographers. Or some pirates rape Janeway during an away mission. Or the moral dilema of sex with a non-sentient being. ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/46 "2000-11-06T17:23:15Z")
Kirk: Spock, McCoy, and I will look over here and you (to redshirt) go look behind that big rock… Red Shirt: No fucking way, If you wanna see what’s behind that rock look yourself. _Kirk goes behind rock and we hear his screams as he’s ripped from limb from limb_ Picard: “Worf, please escort ensign Crusher to airlock three and toss his ass out”. Picard: Data… EVASIVE MANOUVERS!! Data: Nuh duh “dick-ard”, did it like… 5 seconds ago, if I waited for your permission we’d all be dead _mutters ~ stupid humans… should kill them all_ Riker: Picard, I’m resigning. I’ve slept with everyone and everything on the ship and I don’t feel as if there are any more challenges left for me here. ---
**Author:** ![FarrisGoldstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f17d59/32.png) [@FarrisGoldstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarrisGoldstein)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/47 "2000-11-06T17:29:28Z")
Janeway: Hey! I’ve got a hang nail! Tom Paris, you’re demoted to swab… No, strike that, make it “Shit Scrubber, Junior Grade” Paris: Fuck you! \ The crew then proceeds to have a wild orgy while everyone takes turns pissing on Janeway’s smoldering corpse. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/48 "2000-11-06T17:36:56Z")
> [@](#): > > What are the spiritual and/or moral guidelines of the 24th century? Or is it DavidB’s wetdream of the future with a whole galaxy of atheists? Yep, Roddenberry had the same wet dream. And it’s just as unrealistic as everything else in the Star Trek universe :p. As for Voyager: I want to see an episode where it’s revealed that the Maquis crewmembers have been planning a mutiny all along. As they enter the Alpha Quadrant, they finally act. Tuvok and that other vulcan character are shot just because they’re so damn sanctimonious. Chacotay (sp?) is reluctant to hurt Janeway, the object of his lust, but he gets over it and Janeway is blown out an airlock _sans_ spacesuit. Tom Parris becomes the new First Officer and finally gets the respect he deserves. And then the Voyager becomes a pirate ship looting the galaxy for fun and profit. Yeah, that’d be good 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FarrisGoldstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f17d59/32.png) [@FarrisGoldstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarrisGoldstein)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/49 "2000-11-06T17:41:54Z")
That’d be cool… Except Tom Paris wasn’t in the Maquis. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/50 "2000-11-06T20:12:00Z")
How about a small breasted woman in star fleet. Seriously, is it just me or does it seem that there must be minimum bra size requirement for star fleet? ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/51 "2000-11-06T20:53:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AWB \* > **Recurring children characters that don’t age at two to three times the normal rate. Naomi Wildman was born at the end of season two, but looks about 10 at the beginning of season 5.** They skipped several years in season 3. Kes was unstuck in time, and when they finally stablilized her, they were a a couple years ahead of where they’d been. (As a side note, because of that, even if Kes hadn’t gone to another state of being a couple seasons ago, she’d be at the end of her natural life-span this season.) Also, Naomi is half Kterian, and thus ages at an accellerated rate, compared to human children. Though, it seems to have leveled out somewhat, since she would be about 9 or 10 this season, and doesn’t look older than that. [Naomi’s Bio](http://www.startrek.com/library/individ.asp?ID=112693) ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/52 "2000-11-06T21:15:43Z")
All I want to see is Spock in full drag makeup wearing a t-shirt that reads: **Beat me up Scotty** ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/53 "2000-11-06T21:21:40Z")
I second **matt\_mcl** - queers, queers, queers. LaForge and Worf. Kyra and Dax. Kim and Paris (especially since we _all_ know about Harry). And speaking of, let’s give Harry a little respect. I truly loved the remarks Kim made in the first two episodes of this season of _Voyager_ - one that he _never_ gets laid, and two that he’s been on the ship for six years and is still an ensign, and Paris has been given a commission, demoted, and promoted within the same timeframe. WTF!!! Poor Harry… Bring Odo back. And Data. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/54 "2000-11-06T21:51:14Z")
Continuity across all the shows. The original Enterprise was involved in some of the flashiest exploits in space, but gets mentioned in the later series about once every three seasons. (Major exception: the Mirror, Mirror episodes on DS9.) Why can’t they have a Gorn or a Andorian in an episode? How about mentioning that Kirk and Spock were the first to lay eyes on a Romulan? Or even between the modern shows: How about mentioning some bit of technology on Voyager that was developed by Data or LaForge? Was Barkley really the only TNG genius that had anything to do with that ship? [Aside: Paris was once a Macquis, though never a very sucessful or loyal member. He was put in a prison for it, where Janeway offered to get him freed in exchange for leading her to Maquis cells. That’s how he was on Voyager when they were drawn into the Delta quadrant.] ---
**Author:** ![jovius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@jovius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jovius)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/55 "2000-11-06T21:53:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Torgo \* > \*\*I’d like to see Counselor Troi handcuff Dr. Crusher to a gurney and do her up the poop-chute with a 13 inch strap-on while Ro and Tasha Yar engage in some sixty-nineage. \*\* Something like that… Don’t forget to add more young, female ensigns, fresh from the academy too (in the classic short skirts & boots). Otherwise, bring the good’ol Capt Kirk and have him dual in more hand-to-hand combat with aliens such as Klingons, the Dominions, and Narciccans (sp?). Oh yea, like someone said earlier, more boarding/commando style raids too where lots of red shirts getting killed. Cheers, jovius ---
**Author:** ![3waygeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/e95f7d/32.png) [@3waygeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3waygeek)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/56 "2000-11-06T22:44:43Z")
Diceman wrote: > [@](#): > > As for Voyager: I want to see an episode where it’s revealed that the Maquis crewmembers have been planning a mutiny all along. As they enter the Alpha Quadrant, they finally act. Tuvok and that other vulcan character are shot just because they’re so damn sanctimonious. Chacotay (sp?) is reluctant to hurt Janeway, the object of his lust, but he gets over it and Janeway is blown out an airlock sans spacesuit. Tom Parris becomes the new First Officer and finally gets the respect he deserves. And then the Voyager becomes a pirate ship looting the galaxy for fun and profit. [This episode](http://www.startrek.com/library/episodes_voy_detail.asp?ID=112631) isn’t exactly what you asked for, but it’s pretty close. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/57 "2000-11-06T22:58:15Z")
Picard: “We can’t interfere because it would violate the Prime Directive.” Riker: “Fuck the Prime Directive. Let’s waste these alien bastards and take all their stuff!” ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/58 "2000-11-06T23:04:38Z")
We need to see more realistic ground fighting. Black clothes, body armor, _sound and light suppressors on their phasers!!!_ Haven’t these people learned anything from 20th century SWAT teams?!? We need to see Klingons go into more “berserker rages” like they’re supposed to, rather than acting like grating-voiced Vikings. I think we need to see more civilian life in ST. We’ve seen nothing but military outfits (except for Quark’s bunch in DS9). Perhaps a group of merchants/smugglers who travel around the galaxy trying to evade sector patrols and bounty hunters? Oh, wait, they already have that… it’s called “Star Wars” 😃 We need to have a part where a doctor picks up a vial of a newfangled medicine he just cobbled together and say, “I’d explain to you how it works, but it’s far too complicated.” And, as Esprix said, we need to see more “alternative lifestyles”. Hey, 'sprix, I bet you’re just wondering what it’s like to have sex with an android, huh? (I know I am) ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/59 "2000-11-06T23:31:53Z")
> [@](#): > > I’d like to see Capt. Kirk (intergalactic slut that he is) come down with an STD. Well, it’s not quite the same, but I think Scotty got the clap once. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/60 "2000-11-07T01:10:58Z")
**Farris:** Paris used to be with the Maquis, but what I was thinking was that, given all the abuse he puts up with, I can’t imagine Tom _not_ siding with any mutiny that gets rid of Janeway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875.md?page=4)