# Things you'd like to see on Star Trek... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2000, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875 "2000-11-06T00:48:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Guy\_Incognito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guy_incognito/32/3920_2.png) [@Guy\_Incognito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Incognito)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/81 "2000-11-14T02:52:48Z")
1. Instead of lengthy knock down drag out hand-to-hand fights, have your favorite protagonist (Kirk, Picard, Spock, etc…) fell their opponent with a swift kick in the nuts. Sort of a “space Rochambo”. Of course, some species might not have their equipment in the right places, so this might require some creative kicking from time to time. It could become a patented manuever, like “Kirk’s clenched-hands back thump” or Spock’s Vulcan nerve pinch. 2. Have somebody in engineering discover that a critical short in engineering was caused by some dumbass using a penny in place of a fuse. (I know that would be a bad anachronism, but it would be great anyway.) 3. Have a transporter accident where the crew members come out with non-fatal and humorous defects–tiny heads or super large navels, for instance. Worf could have extremely large breasts that would both repulse and intrigue him. 4. Have Wesley Crusher get into a life threatening situation and have Picard decide that it really is much easier for everyone involved to just run away and never look back. ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/82 "2000-11-14T04:12:05Z")
Guy - you’re in luck. The first one happened in the sixth movie. Kirk is getting his ass handed to him in Klingon jail when he scores the lucky ballcracker. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/83 "2000-11-14T04:52:23Z")
Today I had a Star Trek epiphany. Hats. It all comes down to hats. Have you noticed that nobody in these series wears hats? No, I can understand the fact that civilians don’t - fashions come and go, and the Federation could be cought in a hatless phase similar to the one we’re experiencing right now. But what about Starfleet? Bareheaded, the lot of them! Who ever heard of a military uniform which did not include a hat?! Think back - from the Spartan Hoplites onward, can any of you think of a mjilitary uniform which did not include some form of headgear? My suggestion - let them wear hats. Nice, stiff-brimmed military caps; neat little berets; baseball caps with “U.S.S Voyager” on them; a fez, a tricorn or a Confederate officer’s hat, feather included - I don’t care. Hats add respect, authority, _gravitas_. Cover their heads. It’s their last hope. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/84 "2000-11-14T06:25:37Z")
I think they should all wear those Pope-hats. Those things kick ass. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/85 "2000-11-14T06:51:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \* > \*\*I think they should all wear those Pope-hats. Those things kick ass. \*\* Do you mean that funky red yamulke, or the 20-gallon seige engine hat? ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/86 "2000-11-14T06:55:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \* > I think they should all wear those Pope-hats. Those things kick ass. Ha! And imagine if they ran into a race that happened to wear small red horns as adornments? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/87 "2000-11-14T14:39:52Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Alessan** _ > > Hats. It all comes down to hats. Have you noticed that nobody in these series wears hats? Only cool, spiritual people wear hats - Bajorans and their Kai, Guinan, etc. 😃 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![RonA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@RonA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RonA)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/88 "2000-11-14T15:52:26Z")
Re: space marines. That was done in a too-short-lived series _Space: Above and Beyond_. I’d like to know what Scotty and Spock are up to. Last time we saw Scotty, he was going off in a shuttle. And wasn’t Spock on a spy mission on Romulus? What’s happened to them since then? And what ever happened to the Organians? Weren’t they supposed to watch the Federation to make sure they played nice? How about a slug-fest between all the omnipotent races? Q, the Organians, Trelain… ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875/89 "2000-11-14T17:00:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diceman \* > \*\*What SPOOFE said about Voyager got me thinking. How many crewmembers has Voyager lost? A few dozen? More? With a crew of only a few hundred, a couple dozen casualties is a significant loss. Shouldn’t we be seeing signs of lack of manpower by now? Especially given how frequently the Bridge and Engineering get hammered in attacks, you’d think that there would be an acute shortage of command and technical personel by now. \*\* They probably get them when they pick up new shuttles for the 37 they blow up each week. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Alessan \* > \*\* > My suggestion - let them wear hats. Nice, stiff-brimmed military caps; neat little berets; baseball caps with “U.S.S Voyager” on them; a fez, a tricorn or a Confederate officer’s hat, feather included - I don’t care. Hats add respect, authority, gravitas. > \*\* 3 words: horned Viking helmets!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youd-like-to-see-on-star-trek/39875.md?page=4)