# Things your lover should say, the first time they see your naughy bits **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 8, 2011, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702 "2011-02-08T22:21:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/1 "2011-02-08T22:21:16Z")
Now, the first view, or the first “hands on” of the naughty bits is a critical moment of any relationship. Women tend to remember the firs kiss and put much importance on it but really the first good look is just as, if not more, important. I’m a man, in case you were wondering, and although I am generally pleased with the reactions my lovers have given me over the years, I can’t help but wonder if most of you have somehow agreed upon “oh my” as the thing to say. However, George Takei has taken that away from you. So here is a list of a few suggestions you may consider using if you happen to be lucky enough to see me naked in the future or feel free to use them with your own lovers. Me, being me, these are of course movie quotes. We’re going to need a bigger boat. That’s no moon, it’s a space station. Saints be praised Yippie kai-a mutherfucker I think it’s time we go to the mattresses. That’s no ordinary rabbit! Now I will admit to not being very verbally proficient when I have first contact with a woman. Usually I just drool, maybe with some growling thrown in for effect. So ladies feel free to suggest phrases you may wish to hear or to share the things you have said in the past and of course the gentlemen are invited to share their ideas on this topic as well. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/2 "2011-02-08T22:23:19Z")
That’ll do, pig. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/3 "2011-02-08T22:24:27Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > That’ll do, pig. **BWAAAA ha ha ha ha** ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/4 "2011-02-08T22:26:27Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > I’m a man, in case you were wondering, and although I am generally pleased with the reactions my lovers have given me over the years, I can’t help but wonder if most of you have somehow agreed upon “oh my” as the thing to say. However, George Takei has taken that away from you. I must personally apologize for that-he first started using that phrase after seeing my genitals. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/5 "2011-02-08T22:30:15Z")
It’s twue, it’s twue. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/6 "2011-02-08T22:35:19Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > That’s no moon, it’s a space station. Just for future reference, this line does NOT work well when you’re male and speaking to a female. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/7 "2011-02-08T22:40:20Z")
Wow, you’re not too big for me, thank God! And your back hair gives me something to grab on to! ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/8 "2011-02-08T22:53:12Z")
I was right, the carpet and drapes _do_ match. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/9 "2011-02-08T23:02:09Z")
“I am tired of these mother-fucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/10 "2011-02-09T00:04:31Z")
“Say hello to my little friend” ☹ ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/11 "2011-02-09T00:12:16Z")
“My God, it’s full of stars!” ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/12 "2011-02-09T00:12:21Z")
“I’ve been to two goat ropings and a county fair, and I ain’t never seen anything like that!” ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/13 "2011-02-09T00:23:38Z")
Woman to a man: “What do you feed that thing?!” “Blondes.” ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/14 "2011-02-09T00:25:29Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > I’m a man, in case you were wondering, and although I am generally pleased with the reactions my lovers have given me over the years, I can’t help but wonder if most of you have somehow agreed upon “oh my” as the thing to say. However, George Takei has taken that away from you. Also taken by George Takei: “SHEILDS! SHEILDS!” ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/15 "2011-02-09T00:36:27Z")
‘I haven’t seen anything like that since I worked on a horse farm.’ ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/16 "2011-02-09T01:08:50Z")
Ooooo! ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/17 "2011-02-09T01:27:24Z")
Seems like a tongue-in-cheek thread. But seriously, I don’t expect words. A nice growl or a small appreciative fondle would be nice. Or just a big ol’ smile. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/18 "2011-02-09T01:47:17Z")
“Mmmmmm … pastrami!” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/19 "2011-02-09T01:52:20Z")
totally sponge-worthy ---
**Author:** ![flickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7bcc69/32.png) [@flickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickster)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/20 "2011-02-09T01:55:23Z")
Just a simple “Mmmmmm, Yummy” will work from either partner [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702.md?page=2)