# Things your lover should say, the first time they see your naughy bits **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 8, 2011, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702 "2011-02-08T22:21:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/21 "2011-02-09T02:02:15Z")
I’m not sure if I’ve embarrassed myself yet on the 'Dope, but I think I’m going to now. I’ll tell you what I did say - “Oh…is it…deformed?” :o I said this because I had never ever in my life ever before - and I’d seen a few, mind you, although not so many as to have seen too many, in that I’m not a slut or anything but anyway - seen a penis that was not circumcised. And I didn’t realise he was. You know, circumcised. Um. Yeah. Plus, the foreskin had gotten pulled down and over the top and so it appeared the…uh…opening…was on the bottom midddle instead of on top and I kinda freaked a bit and…um…yeah. After he stopped laughing, things proceeded as normal. I’m blushing even now. So, you know, don’t say that, it’s bad. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/22 "2011-02-09T02:08:41Z")
From my first boyfriend, the first time we slept together: “They should have sent a poet.” ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/23 "2011-02-09T02:40:32Z")
Tis no man. Tis a remorseless eating machine! ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/24 "2011-02-09T02:42:51Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > Woman to a man: > > “What do you feed that thing?!” > > “Blondes.” Its still hungry ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/25 "2011-02-09T03:00:49Z")
What should my lover say upon seeing my junk? Gee, that’s a hard one. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/26 "2011-02-09T03:10:45Z")
> [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](#): > > What should my lover say upon seeing my junk? > > Gee, that’s a hard one. Everybody’s a comedian-thank you for being refreshing change of pace. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/27 "2011-02-09T03:12:36Z")
…and no pine-tar. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/28 "2011-02-09T03:14:16Z")
> [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](#): > > What should my lover say upon seeing my junk? > > Gee, that’s a hard one. [That’s what SHE said!](http://xkcd.com/436/) ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/29 "2011-02-09T03:35:30Z")
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get Is it safe? Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night. (All about Eve) My precious To a man: It’s alive! It’s alive! As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again Go ahead, make my day (Sudden Impact) Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship (Casablanca) To a woman: Rosebud Open the pod bay doors, HAL Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth (the pride of the Yankees) Yeah, ok, I’m done ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/30 "2011-02-09T03:58:42Z")
Nothing. I expect him to be using his mouth to catch the ping pong balls. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/31 "2011-02-09T04:53:50Z")
You’re kind of cute. What’s your name? Hold on, let me turn on the light. Okay, I was right, you are kind of cute. Wow. I am kinda hungry, gonna make a coupla bean burritos. Want one? ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/32 "2011-02-09T04:59:01Z")
This will be WAY better than the bisque! ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/33 "2011-02-09T07:50:08Z")
Yum, yum, good eats. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/34 "2011-02-09T08:38:42Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > …Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth (the pride of the Yankees no echo? ---
**Author:** ![Levolor\_the\_Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc8723/32.png) [@Levolor\_the\_Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Levolor_the_Blind)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/35 "2011-02-09T10:31:05Z")
“It looks like two longshoremen fighting over a squirrel” ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/36 "2011-02-09T11:13:52Z")
True story: on my honeymoon, my wife went temporarily blind. I had to take her to the eye doctor. Too bad it was from a defect in her cornea or something, but it certainly makes for a good story. Me: Tada! Her: Aieee! My EYES! MY EYES! I CAN’T SEE!! ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/37 "2011-02-09T11:32:54Z")
Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper? ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/38 "2011-02-09T11:37:50Z")
“This is Police Girl C-36, calling for backup…” ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/39 "2011-02-09T12:05:42Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > True story: on my honeymoon, my wife went temporarily blind. I had to take her to the eye doctor. Too bad it was from a defect in her cornea or something, but it certainly makes for a good story. > > Me: Tada! > Her: Aieee! My EYES! MY EYES! I CAN’T SEE!! I was in bed with my wife when the [Kent earthquake of 200](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2007_Kent_earthquake)7 happened - unfortunately we were in the next county over and never felt anything. It would have been so cool to be able to ask “Did the earth move for you too?” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/40 "2011-02-09T13:05:47Z")
It looks just like grandpa with his teeth out! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702.md?page=3)