# Things your lover should say, the first time they see your naughy bits **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 8, 2011, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702 "2011-02-08T22:21:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/41 "2011-02-09T15:08:15Z")
“Impressive. Most impressive.” ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/42 "2011-02-09T15:42:19Z")
> [@willthekittensurvive](#): > > Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper? Win. ---
**Author:** ![Rafe\_Hollister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Rafe\_Hollister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rafe_Hollister)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/43 "2011-02-09T15:59:49Z")
“WOW!!! I don’t think I can handle that all by myself. Is it okay with you if I call my sister to come over and help?” ---
**Author:** ![snowmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@snowmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowmaster)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/44 "2011-02-09T15:59:52Z")
Give me chastity and give me constancy, but do not give them now. Those of you in the first three rows are in the splash zone and may wish to move back. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/45 "2011-02-09T16:19:53Z")
:eek: 😃 ramming speed! ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/46 "2011-02-09T17:17:34Z")
DAMN! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/47 "2011-02-09T17:36:58Z")
Give it to us raw and wriggling. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/48 "2011-02-09T18:00:52Z")
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship… ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/49 "2011-02-09T18:05:06Z")
“Let me get my camera.” ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/50 "2011-02-09T18:06:05Z")
> [@Rafe\_Hollister](#): > > “WOW!!! I don’t think I can handle that all by myself. Is it okay with you if I call my sister to come over and help?” Just putting it out there… what about TWIN sister? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/51 "2011-02-09T18:08:14Z")
I bet the Chinese food here is terrible. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/52 "2011-02-09T20:04:36Z")
Forgot the last part of the story: > [@Superhal](#): > > True story: on my honeymoon, my wife went temporarily blind. I had to take her to the eye doctor. Too bad it was from a defect in her cornea or something, but it certainly makes for a good story. > > Me: Tada! > Her: Aieee! My EYES! MY EYES! I CAN’T SEE!! Me: Don’t stare too long at the sun baby. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/53 "2011-02-09T20:44:03Z")
“Lemmie guess. Smallpox.” ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/54 "2011-02-09T21:26:42Z")
It is a strange fate we should have to suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/55 "2011-02-09T21:47:02Z")
"Cute little guy. I’ve got a vagina who’d like to meet him. " ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/56 "2011-02-10T02:27:53Z")
“Five dollar. Five dollar foot long.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/57 "2011-02-10T04:49:02Z")
You’re on Candid Camera. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/58 "2011-02-10T08:58:39Z")
“Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I’ve found you! At last, I know the secret of it all!” Sung, of course. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/59 "2011-02-10T09:59:34Z")
mmphmph mmpmphjrmm. ---
**Author:** ![TravisFromOR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cc9497/32.png) [@TravisFromOR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TravisFromOR)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702/60 "2011-02-10T10:59:13Z")
WHAT THEY SHOULD NOT SAY: Heh, Cute… (Yes, it did happen to me. ☹ ) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-lover-should-say-the-first-time-they-see-your-naughy-bits/570702.md?page=4)