Things your parents did or said to you that really stuck

In My Humble Opinion
61

My mother always said to do the thing you least like doing first. Not to carry anger to bed with you. Stand up straight. Always hug the people you love whenever you say goodbye to them (in case they die.) Good advice but for an odd reason. And, “Someone is always watching you.” That last one made me paranoid for a long time but it’s translated well in adulthood to “You will be judged by your actions more than your words.”

I don’t remember my dad telling me anything about how to be. Ever. But he was a good role model. His joy for life is probably the most valuable gift he gave me.

Mom taught me how to work and Dad taught me how to play.

My husband learned a few things from his father:

Measure twice; cut once.
A salesman will smile when he’s got a bellyache.
There’s no kettle so crooked it can’t find a lid.

I don’t think his mother ever told him anything. She had too many children to manage.

And my husband passed a good one down to our kids: Your keys are like your underwear. Never leave the house without them.

62

:smack: This is one that I never learned until I had to climb up two picnic tables and a chair to go through a second story window.

63

Another one I just remembered:

“Never, ever, ever get into credit card debt.”

64

“It’s not worth it having children.”

65

I thought the thread title was ‘Things your parents did or said to you that really suck’, and this is what I thought of:

I was getting out the dice to play Yahtzee and my drunken father yelled out ‘Hurry up and get your fat ass over here.’

So, um, in terms of what my parents have done, I have learned the value of sobriety. And not to smoke.

66

From Dad:

• Walk home in a group.
• Eat your vegetables.
• Don’t forget your lunch.
• Don’t spit in the corners.
• Don’t get married before you’re 25.
• A kid is one kid, two kids is half a kid and three kids is a dead kid. (Translation: the more children you have in a given space, the more likely trouble will occur.)
• Nothing good happens after midnight.
• Never turn around when backing up in the car; use your mirrors.
• Always get up to highway speed before merging into traffic on the freeway.
• Drive defensively, always know where you are going to go if you see another car coming at yours.
• Always mount the motorcycle from the left side.

From Mom:
• Everybody bleeds the same color. (Mom’s a retired RN.)
• I need a nice man but only for the purpose of buying me jewelry. :rolleyes:
• My car is nothing but a one-ton killing machine.
• If I ever spot someone following me on the street, turn around and make eye contact. Prepare a good physical description. Chances are, if I am being followed, this communicates that I am aware of my surroundings and, therefore, not an easy mark. The potential mugger/rapist/axe murderer will turn and find someone else to bother. (This is been proven absolutely true and I’ve used it twice when walking by myself in the Bahamas once and in New Orleans once.)

67

Oh, one more:

“Righty tighty, Lefty Loosey.”

68

Mom always said “Don’t play ball in the house.”

But did I listen? It wasn’t until I broke her favorite vase and committed the offense of letting my siblings cover from me that I learned my lesson.

It’s still with me to this day. I’m 45-years-old and I still won’t play ball in the house.

69

Simple, but practical, from my father:

“A short pencil is better than a long memory.”

In other words, take the time to write things down, because, even if you remember it right then and there, later on you’ll probably forget it (unless you’re Rain Man).

70

I had to bust out a basement window, shimmy through feet first, and drop to the unseen floor. Got a couple cuts from broken glass and a shard buried under the skin that came to the surface months later.

71

Thought of another, less inspirational one from my mom - “Don’t think you’re too smart.” You young ladies probably don’t have much experience with this, but women used to have to cover their intelligence to get along in the world - being a smart woman didn’t used to be an asset.

72

My mom taught me it’s not the size of the ship it’s the motion in the ocean. Good ol’ ma!

73

Builds character I tell you!

74

Ouch. That’s probably even worse than being told as a middle schooler “I started therapy when you were a few months old because I didn’t love you. I mean, I cared about your well-being, but I didn’t really feel anything for you yet.” :frowning: The explanation then went on to say that it soon changed, but why share that with your child?!
Anyway, as for positive stuff:

Dad, on the subject of wanting to write books, told me this when I was twelve or thirteen, and I try hard to keep this in mind. “Write every day. It doesn’t matter what or how much, but you need to keep it up.”

Mom “It isn’t fair to anyone to expect so much from people who aren’t as smart as you are. It just leaves you frustrated when they can’t live up to your expectations, and keeps you from noticing how much they get right.” Lil bro and I have gotten this lecture since we were old enough to complain about coworkers, and she does have a point.

75

I had a habit of staying weeks with friends when I was 18 to 20 years old. One time, during a short visit home, my dad asked me where I was staying, and not knowing the address (it was out in the middle of the country somewhere, and I navigated mostly by landmarks) I told him that I couldn’t really say.

He said, “I hope someday your child won’t tell you where they are living,” and then he turned around and walked up the stairs, slowly and defeated, like he was an old man.

I’ll never forget it. I am not planning on having children, but I haven’t ruled it out, and thinking of it makes the hair on the back of my neck rise up, like it was an ancient gypsy curse or something.

There were other unpleasant things, but I’ll say a couple of nice ones -

Mom taught me to cook, showed me the basics and let me at it. She also told me what made her most attracted to my dad.

She was living by herself with my two older brothers, poor as churchmice. She had her very ancient car, and that was about it, and without it they would have starved as she couldn’t get to work. One day it broke down, and my dad went out in the cold winter and fixed it for her.

She said that she watched him from the window and thought she was going to have him, that someone like that, well, she couldn’t pass him up really. And she chose wisely.

That taught me that I should choose wisely in a partner, and that I should choose for reasons other than a fine pretty face.

My dad taught me to fix minor matters on my car and bike and how to learn to fix more delicate things. He taught me that no matter what was wrong, there’s an instruction book out there that will tell me how to fix it - and if I can’t fix it, there are always options. In doing that he gave me concrete evidence that I CAN do almost anything, a philosophy I’ve followed and been happy in doing so.

My mom also always gave me a Dilly Bar when I wanted a Peanut Buster Parfait. That definitely stuck with me :stuck_out_tongue:

76

My grandfather used to say “fools names and fools faces are often found in public places”. :stuck_out_tongue: Over the years, grandpa was right.

77

From my mom after the housefire that took my two children:
“A new baby won’t fill the hole in your heart, but it will fill the hole in your arms.”

78

This is were I am so lucky. My parents, immigrants and refuges from war, had four daughters over the 50s and 60s. They broke every societal convention- we heard over and over again that we were smart, they encouraged us to go into scientific careers. My dad told me to make sure the house and at least one credit card was in my name when I got married. He insisted my mom learned to drive. He said a lot of things that reinforced the idea that women should use their intelligence and be prepared to take of themselves.

79

Dad: “Decide if you want to be in or out, and stay there.”

Mom: “Never criticize someone’s significant other to them.”

80

sorry, mom.