# Things your parents told you that stuck with you

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 24, 2014, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446 "2014-09-24T17:12:56Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/41 "2014-09-25T14:54:30Z")

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I’m searching, and not finding many sound bites from my parents. Really the only one that comes up is “Keep your cards close to your chest,” from my mom. And she meant it literally.

I’m 34.

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**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/42 "2014-09-25T15:02:51Z")

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Do what you say - never threaten. Promise.

Don’t get mad, get ahead.

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**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/43 "2014-09-25T15:09:02Z")

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“If anyone ever tries to give you a barium enema run the other way”

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**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/44 "2014-09-25T15:11:34Z")

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> [@simster](#):
>
> From my dad -
> 
> “If its already broken, you can’t make it worse by trying to fix it” - of course, he regretted that later as the house burned down, but, the philosophy is still sound.

If I had a dollar for every eyeglass frame I ever saw that I could have fixed if someone hadn’t made it worse by trying to fix it themselves I’d have - well, a lot of dollars.

My “favorite” was when someone tried to fix a broken metal frame with JB Weld. Didn’t work, and made it impossible for me to solder it back together properly, turning a $25 repair into a $120+ replacement.

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**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/45 "2014-09-25T15:28:13Z")

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> [@Fear\_Itself](#):
>
> “If you are feeling seasick, eat a banana. They taste good going down, and they taste good coming up”
> 
> ~~My Old Man

Words to live by. 🙂

Mom: “If you see a bathroom, stop and use it. You might not get another chance for a while.”

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**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/46 "2014-09-25T15:55:59Z")

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> [@Doug\_K](#):
>
> If I had a dollar for every eyeglass frame I ever saw that I could have fixed if someone hadn’t made it worse by trying to fix it themselves I’d have - well, a lot of dollars.
> 
> My “favorite” was when someone tried to fix a broken metal frame with JB Weld. Didn’t work, and made it impossible for me to solder it back together properly, turning a $25 repair into a $120+ replacement.

Well, there is always skill involved - and sometimes the cost of trying is expensive -

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**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/47 "2014-09-25T16:51:37Z")

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> [@gwendee](#):
>
> From my dad I got, “Never play poker with a man named Doc.”

Likewise, “Never get your haircut from a man named Pops.”

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**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/48 "2014-09-25T17:17:01Z")

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> [@SaharaTea](#):
>
> And this one from my mom: “If a man ever hits you, leave and don’t look back. You’re worth more than that.”

Good for her (and you).

[QUOTE=Baker]  
You don’t always get things your own way.  
[/QUOTE]  
A very good all-purpose lesson that every child needs to learn.

[QUOTE=Bayard]  
My favorite expression to this day was one my dad used to great effect: if a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his ass. I think of that almost every day.  
[/QUOTE]  
I’d be interested in what this means to you, or how you apply it in your life.

[QUOTE=Panache45]  
My father:

“You’ll always be a bum; you’ll never amount to anything. I can’t believe you’re my son.”  
[/QUOTE]  
I’m very sorry that he said this to you, it must have hurt a lot. I was looking for positive sayings, but you remind me of the harm parents can do, as well as the good.

[QUOTE=stolatt]  
Every parent is a rookie.  
[/QUOTE]  
Did your parents say this to you? If so, they were very wise. I have used this sentiment internally to forgive my parents for many of the mistakes that they made, most of which were done with good intentions.

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**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/49 "2014-09-25T17:48:44Z")

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The sole advice I was given when going backpacking for a year age 21; always make sure you have a waterproof bag for dirty clothes as well as clean ones, because if you go long enough between washing machines, the clothes you already discarded as dirty might be cleaner than the ones you have on.

Yes, my mother gave me advice on how to be a bum 😃

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**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/50 "2014-09-25T19:12:45Z")

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Dear old Dad - If mom says “jump”, you say “how high” on your way up.

Said that to my son a number of times.

60

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**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/51 "2014-09-25T20:41:30Z")

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“Your word is your bond, it’s a contract. Laws are contracts too. The wording of contracts is very important: always strive to say exactly what you mean, always read any contract you’re asked to sign, and always read any laws your contracts reference.”

“To decide who gets to open the door for whom, the question should be ‘how is it going to be fastest and easiest for everybody?’ So, the person least encumbered (or that who will pull) opens the door.”  
Me, finding that this reasoning was at odds with my father’s image of an old-style gentleman: “So what about that ‘opening the doors for ladies’ rule?”  
“_Snort_ That and ‘ladies first’ are excuses to stare at your asses.”

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**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/52 "2014-09-25T22:02:40Z")

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> [@Roderick\_Femm](#):
>
> I’d be interested in what this means to you, or how you apply it in your life.

I think it means not to make excuses or blame your problems on things you can’t change. “But, Dad, if X had been different, then I could have done Y!” “Well, if a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his ass.” Suck it up. Deal with reality. I don’t think it means that you shouldn’t try to fix things you can fix, but sometimes reality is, you’re gonna have a sore ass.

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**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/53 "2014-09-26T04:58:25Z")

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Pappaw - “Life is like a game of pinball. Sometimes you hit tilt. And sometimes, like me, you get an extra ball.”

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**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/54 "2014-09-26T05:48:39Z")

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Wear the right clothes and look like you know something.

My grandad always stressed dressing well. You may not know all the answers but at least give the impression that you do. He was right too. Dressing for success works.

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**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/55 "2014-09-26T05:59:52Z")

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My father used the line about frogs having wings, and I use it too (except that I’m intentionally “cutesy” in the way I say it: “And if froggies had wings, they wouldn’t bump their little tushies when they land.”)

It means two things, really: Don’t spend time lamenting the things you can’t change while you miss the here and now - “If only I hadn’t gotten that speeding ticket, I’d have money to go to this concert!” “If I’d done (random, minor) thing differently, (disastrous, major) thing wouldn’t have happened.” You can’t change that now. Deal with your current situation, not the one that might have been. Also, don’t blame external things that aren’t for what you are: “If I had these $300 shoes, I’d be one of the cool kids!”

My mother’s most memorable advice also used the word ass: “Everybody likes a little, nobody likes a smartass.” Turns out, she was fighting a losing battle on that front.

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**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/56 "2014-09-26T09:52:47Z")

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From mom:

When you are at work, always walk fast. People will think you’re doing something important and/or working hard.  
mmm

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**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/57 "2014-09-26T10:51:36Z")

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Age around 5, we were playing a family game of Cluedo (Clue to most of you). I was playing with my Dad. I had just about grasped the idea that we were trying to find out what cards everyone else had. Imagine my excitement when, as my aunt showed Miss Scarlett to my mum, I saw a telltale glimpse of the card. This was the breakthrough we’d been waiting for!

In what were meant to be hushed tones, I informed Dad of this. He ignored me. I waited a bit and tried again. He ignored me. Then, he announced that he was ready to make his accusation. He guessed Miss Scarlett. At fever pitch, I tried one last time to tell him what I’d seen.

“I’m not going to win through your cheating.”

That’s when I realised - although I couldn’t have phrased it this way - that moral rules weren’t about what other people thought of you. They were about how you thought of you.

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**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/58 "2014-09-26T12:09:51Z")

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After I was an adult, from my mom: “If you’re not hungry, you’re not losing weight.”

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**Author:** ![ASGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@ASGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASGuy)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/59 "2014-09-26T12:56:35Z")

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Three things come right to mind.

(1) At a young age: My brother and I would get into it, as young siblings do. If my Dad had to intervene (not often) he would say “What goes around comes around.” I understood the words but didn’t understand the meaning until I turned 27 or so. It’s almost a personal motto for me now.

(2) At age 15 (1969): Mick Jagger, “You can’t always get what you want.”

(3) At age 19 or so: My Dad (who was a professional house painter), “If you don’t paint it the first time you never paint it the second time.”

I’m 60.

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**Author:** ![crucible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@crucible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crucible)\
**Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-parents-told-you-that-stuck-with-you/699446/60 "2014-09-26T13:01:05Z")

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“If you screw a woman you don’t know, wash yourself off with whiskey afterwards”

He also philosophized on how certain ethnic groups would buy a fancy car and nice clothes and live in a shack, even to the extent of sharing the cost of the car with other people so as to be able to drive it and look well off just a couple of days a week. Naturally, Dad wanted all three for himself, plus a floozie on his arm.

One of the hardest working men I’ve ever known, but not a great role model.

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