# Things your perfect girl/guy should understand and not want to change about you. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 13, 2000, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082 "2000-11-13T23:24:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![nadin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/46a35a/32.png) [@nadin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nadin)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/41 "2000-11-14T13:17:15Z")
When I say I’m fine, I’m usually not and it’s an inbuilt response because I don’t want to burden myself on other people. Now would be a good time to give me a hug and tell me everything is going to be alright. If my friend is in a crisis, I will drop everything and go. It doesn’t matter if they’re on the other side of the country, if they need me, I’ll be there as soon as possible. I would do the same for you too, so be patient. I like swearing. I am very opinionated and competitive and like nothing better than a good argument. If I don’t win, I’ll sulk but I’ll get over it in a minute. I don’t want you to pander to me or agree with me all the time. I like to travel. My idea of hell is a package holiday, I need a certain degree of independence in my life and I don’t want it all laid out on a plate for me. I am not close to my family. Don’t criticise me for it or pity me for it, it made me who I am and I have no regrets about it. I will go for months without seeing them and it will not bother me in the slightest so I don’t expect it to bother you. I don’t wnat to get married and I’m not cut out to be a mother. Godmother yes, parent no. I’ve known this since I was five years old and it’s one of the few certainties in my life. Don’t expect me to change because if you want the white picket fence and three curly haired tots, you’re not right for me. I didn’t choose you for your looks, but the way you make me laugh, cry and feel safe. I don’t care what you look like, you’ll always be attractive to me. But I will wind you up when watching George Clooney/John Cusack/Jude Law in films. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/42 "2000-11-14T15:09:33Z")
I am weird. I speak four languages including Esperanto and I am learning three more including ASL. I’m also writing one. I am studying linguistics, and something like, “Do you realize that all creoles around the world share important structural similarities thereby supporting Chomskyan universal grammar?” is fascinating to me. I also dabble in political philosophy, and so something like “I just figured out that deconstructionism is to deconstruction what nihilism is to existentialism!” is also fascinating to me. I am a weird old fruit. Deal with it. You must have known it when you met me. In addition to being a W.O.F., I am also an opinionated and socially responsible person. Please do not interfere, although you may feel free to debate. I insist that my phone calls be returned on time; I also insist that I be made to wait no longer than 15 minutes after when we agreed to meet, if at all possible. A liver transplant is an acceptable excuse; having fallen asleep after _Will and Grace_ is not. I prefer open relationships. I would also rather talk frankly about sex than not. I am homosexual. (Some guys this comes as a surprise to.) I am also _openly_ homosexual. (You ever notice that this is the only minority they use that for? Nobody ever says “he’s openly Quebecois”.) I therefore have a tendency to acknowledge my relationship to people, not to mention act like a complete nelly faggot when the mood strikes me, which please be assured is not all the time. You will therefore please refrain from making disparaging comments about the aforementioned nelly faggots. If my being out distresses you, you are invited to come out yourself, or find for your boyfriend a more closeted person, such as Stockwell Day. ---
**Author:** ![Ender\_s\_Gameboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Ender\_s\_Gameboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ender_s_Gameboy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/43 "2000-11-14T15:17:35Z")
Tell your ladies, the 90’s man is dead . . .Long live the Man 2000. Listen up ladies, below is how it REALLY is . . . If you think you might be fat, you are. Don’t ask us. Just get your arse in a gym if you feel the need. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up, put the bloody thing down. Don’t cut your hair. Ever. It causes arguments when we comment on it. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present…again. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. Saturday = Football/Rugby/Any other sport. Let it be. Shopping is not a sport. Anything you wear is fine. Really. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don’t expect us to respond to it. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes. Most blokes own two to three pairs of shoes, so what makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? ‘Yes’, ‘No’ and ‘Mmm’ are perfectly acceptable answers. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Your Mum doesn’t have to be our best friend. Check your oil. It is an essential part of the car. The relationship is never again going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Don’t fake orgasms. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived. Besides once we come, we don’t care. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. Especially if you’ve forgiven us for it. All comments become null and void after 7 days. Telling us that the models in the men’s magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it’s certainly not going to deter us from reading them. The male models with the great bodies you see in magazines are all gay. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we rate how pretty you are? Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials. Women wearing Wonderbras, low-cut blouses, tight tops, no jackets, chest level logo’d T-shirts etc, lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. When we are in bed and look tired this means that we are tired and does not mean that we want to discuss the relationship. Do not question our sense of direction. We get there eventually. If you want some dessert after a meal - have some. You don’t have to finish it. You can just taste it if you like but don’t say “No I couldn’t/shouldn’t/don’t want any” and then eat half of mine. Dieting doesn’t work without exercise. If you’re on a diet it doesn’t mean my meals should be rabbit food as well. A man’s four essential food groups are: white meat, red meat, cold beer and cold beer. Please ensure all meals contain a good balance of the above in good quantities - everything else falls under the category ‘garnish’. ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/44 "2000-11-14T17:19:19Z")
_hugs dpr_ be un-cranky. ---
**Author:** ![relic\_11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/50afbb/32.png) [@relic\_11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/relic_11)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/45 "2000-11-14T18:07:07Z")
That maybe I’m not that f\*\*king smart. That just because I’m intelegent, does not mean I am the acedemic wonder woman. That maybe, no matter how hard I try, sometimes I won’t be good enough. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/46 "2000-11-15T01:50:31Z")
_hugs relic_ _in doing so, bumps thread_ ---
**Author:** ![relic\_11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/50afbb/32.png) [@relic\_11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/relic_11)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/47 "2000-11-15T02:10:20Z")
Thanks,iampunha. _relic hugs everyone, 'cause you can’t give a hug without reciving one_ _extra hug for Sailorboy, 'cause that wasn’t meant as a dig at you, sweetie._ ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/48 "2000-11-15T03:34:41Z")
I see little pieces of myself in most of you! Let me add: I have a past. There are things and people I grieve for and over. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you, or that I’m not happy with you, it just means that everything in my life has not been happy and sometimes I need to deal with it. ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/49 "2000-11-15T03:45:37Z")
_looks at iampuhna’s website_ _drools all over her keyboard_ iampunha…how you DOIN’? ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/50 "2000-11-15T03:56:32Z")
Iampunah: > [@](#): > > 1. Sometimes I need to be alone with the computer for a few hours. Me-time. I need me-time. I love > you, but I’d prefer not to go insane just yet You sure said that well! Same for me, that’s the big one. Well, not always the computer, but alone-time. I grant the She the same allocations and understandings, but I don’t know how to play with someone who doesn’t need that and appreciate my need for that too. Me-time indeed. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/51 "2000-11-15T04:05:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dragonlady \* > \*\*I see little pieces of myself in most of you! > \*\* So THAT’s where my foreskin went. Damn you, dragonlady! Nocturne: glad you like, though those pics aren’t terribly representative. And I’m still living, which I hear is a good thing:) ---
**Author:** ![Erika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/47e85d/32.png) [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/52 "2000-11-15T04:18:13Z")
::gives hugs all around:: hijacks: It’s kind of interesting the kinds of things this list brings out. It’s either really really self-positive things, or really really bitter ones. Hmm. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/53 "2000-11-15T04:23:42Z")
Some of us are tired of meeting people who want to change us so much. We’re tired of meeting people who say “if only X” or “How can you like Y?” Pisses some of us (read: me) off. ---
**Author:** ![T140](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ed655f/32.png) [@T140](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T140)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/54 "2000-11-15T05:05:16Z")
I was riding motorcycles when you met me and I’ll be riding motorcycles till I’m dead. If you tell me I have to choose, you might as well help me start packing. I’m a big kid and like my toys (diecast cars), I like to have them on display above my desk, if you don’t like them make sure that our house always has a spare room for me, my desk and my toys. Be happy that I don’t sing (strained my voice too many times when I was DJing. Sunday=Nascar Learn to live with it. later… ---
**Author:** ![Erika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/47e85d/32.png) [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/55 "2000-11-15T05:30:48Z")
iampunha, I’m not objecting, or disagreeing in any way shape, or form. I’ve got my own list, too. I just think it’s interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fairy_Princess_Kitty)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/56 "2000-11-15T06:27:05Z")
Thank you honey I love you too. Now a few more, alright so there’s lots but I learned a lot from going through hell, really I did… 1. I am a little person. In other words I’m short, yes I do prefer guys that are taller than me but if you bug me about how short I am I will be obliged to show you that little people can cause much pain. I don’t think Danny’s shins will ever be the same. 2. I can’t stand stupidity. I don’t care if you’re actually stupid or just acting that way. I don’t like it and I will tell you so, in colorful and often physical ways. 3. Do not bring up my past. I hated my now ex-boyfriend for doing so and I will hate it if you do so. It’s a very touchy subject for me. If I wanted it brought up I would bring it up, if not leave the past in the past where it belongs. I do not like to joke about it and I take blackmail even worse. 4. I talk. I expect you to do the same. I understand that guys don’t like to talk about their problems or about the relationship but if you don’t learn how to like it then you can pack your bags. I will not obsess about talking about “us” but if you have a problem I expect you to at least tell me. I don’t expect you to read minds so I’m very vocal about my moods, you shouldn’t expect me to know what’s wrong. to be continued… Kitty ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/57 "2000-11-15T06:39:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Erika \* > \*\*iampunha, I’m not objecting, or disagreeing in any way shape, or form. I’ve got my own list, too. I just think it’s interesting. \*\* Oh, I know, I wasn’t suggesting you had been. I was just explaining:) ---
**Author:** ![Alchasehy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Alchasehy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alchasehy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/58 "2000-11-15T06:57:52Z")
Hola de nuevo! 😃 Yo se que eres pequeña, o chaparrita, pero requerda que yo no te llevo mucho de altura. Yo tambien soy chaparro y nunca me burlare de ti. Usualmente yo nunca actuo estupidamente, pero si lo ago, te doi permiso que me des un coscorron. Perdoname si alguna vez you actue asi. Yo solo hablare contigo de nuestro presente y nuestro futuro, nunca de tu pasado. Si yo me entero de algo en tu pasado que me preocupa, te preguntare, si no, no. Yo esperare que tu me hables de tu pasado, envez de ir y tratar de averiguar algo. Comunicacion es muy importante para mi tambien. Si tengo un problema yo te lo dire. Usualmente yo puedo notar si te sientes feliz, enojada, triste, o cansada, no me lo tienes que decir. Simpre te Amare, nunca lo olvidez Alchasehy ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/59 "2000-11-15T09:27:26Z")
Everything I am insecure about… My eyes - I am cross-eyed sometimes I laugh too much - even if something is not funny I tell random stuff out of the blue… like some friends and me sitting around: One of them: I am kind o hungry. Another one: So let s go get some dinner! Me: I like to name cats … uhm… sorry… that was out of the blue… yeah… let s go to Mc D’s. I do it all the time and it get s really bizarre. LOL What’s the weather like? Nice… hey! Let s make my teddy and your teddy a gay couple! Do you have a teddy? It s just soooo RANDOM!!! dodgy ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082/60 "2000-11-15T12:56:39Z")
leave the toilet seat down or leave. this is not negotiable. i really can’t sing any better than that. i pick zits. I even have special tool kits for dealing with them. I know an incredible amount of stuff. I know things no sane person should. I check my facts. I can be wrong, show me I am do not just say. “that can’t be right.” tell me why, i want to know. I can admit i am wrong or give in during an argument so fast your head will spin. Once i do STOP FIGHTING. I don’t always give in, but if i do just enjoy it. I will probably remember our conversations nearly verbatim. I remember better when i am pissed off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-perfect-girl-guy-should-understand-and-not-want-to-change-about-you/41082.md?page=4)