# Things Your SO Won't Let You Have **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 22, 2017, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027 "2017-12-22T04:43:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/21 "2017-12-22T15:15:18Z")
> [@jaycat](#): > > A girlfriend. Similarly, I get nowhere with the sister wife idea. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/22 "2017-12-22T15:30:27Z")
A paintball gun with a hair trigger and 500 psi or so. Damn neighbor kids won’t stay off my lawn. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/23 "2017-12-22T15:33:35Z")
A pot-bellied pig (‘you don’t know how big that thing’s gonna get!’) A Smart Car (‘deathtrap!’) A pet bird (‘birds don’t belong in cages!’ - though oddly, he’s OK with the idea of chickens or quail. I guess it’s OK if they are housed outside). On my end, I’ve nixed a mini horse, because they are just as expensive as the large ones. I tried to nix the Corvette, but he went and bought it anyway. I use this as leverage to get household things I want (‘if you can afford a Corvette, you can afford to get the house re-carpeted!’, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/24 "2017-12-22T16:05:26Z")
More than 2 greyhounds, and no more than 1 cat. His reasoning is that we must not be outnumbered by species. (I know, the 1 cat rule is an aberration from the rule, but 2 cats are sort of like 4 dogs.) I keep telling him that 1 greyhound is like .25 of a regular dog but he won’t buy it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/25 "2017-12-22T16:40:45Z")
Mrs. L.A. will not be seen with me if I am wearing a bow tie. She also won’t let me wear hats, except for ball caps. She won’t be seen with me if I’m wearing a pork pie or trilby. (Although she took one of my black pork pies for herself.) I can _barely_ get away with wearing an aloha shirt. Sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/26 "2017-12-22T16:41:23Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Mrs. L.A. will not be seen with me if I am wearing a bow tie. She also won’t let me wear hats, except for ball caps. She won’t be seen with me if I’m wearing a pork pie or trilby. (Although she took one of my black pork pies for herself.) I can _barely_ get away with wearing an aloha shirt. Sometimes. But… bowties are cool. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/27 "2017-12-22T16:43:56Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > But… bowties are cool. That’s what I tell her. She says they make me look like a professor or a weather man. Hey, I _like_ Bill Nye! And Doctor George was the greatest weather man ever! . ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/28 "2017-12-22T16:56:42Z")
A threesome. And I am not allowed to buy any more golf shirts with the Star Trek logo on them. Apparently 3 is enough even though there are 5 work days in a week. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/29 "2017-12-22T16:58:45Z")
> [@JcWoman](#): > > More than 2 greyhounds, and no more than 1 cat. His reasoning is that we must not be outnumbered by species. (I know, the 1 cat rule is an aberration from the rule, but 2 cats are sort of like 4 dogs.) I keep telling him that 1 greyhound is like .25 of a regular dog but he won’t buy it. 😃 I agree with this assessment (except for the cat; we are not ‘cat people,’ so we’re always at 0 cats). I have a two-dog limit - we’d probably have 10 if it were up to the husband. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/30 "2017-12-22T17:03:26Z")
A miniature horse, but she’s coming around on that one. An excavator. Not a big full size one, just a mini-excavator. Apparently picking up pine cones and plowing the driveway aren’t good enough reasons to own one. A helicopter. Not a working one, it’s an old Bell MASH type helicopter sitting in front of the Army-Navy store. I guess she has some kind of irrational hatred of helicopters. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/31 "2017-12-22T17:06:18Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > A ferret. When the kids were younger, they wanted a ferret and I liked the idea. My wife said no and I went along. Don’t really care now, but that is all I can think of. > > My wife has been very good about my “toys”. Wood working stuff, D&D figures, far too many books that I am now slowly donating away several hundred at a time. Even a 65" LED TV though she could not understand the need for one. All of this together falls far short of one “mid-life crisis car” so as I buy cheap cars and run them into the ground, she is actually getting off pretty cheap. > > She was good about the rooftop solar panels also but they have actually paid for themselves. A prairie dog. Really! I like rodent-ish beasties, but my wife indulged my rabbit habit our entire marriage, so that’s out. Maybe a Red Fox (, dummy! 😃 [I know they’re not rodents, neither are rabbits.]) ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/32 "2017-12-22T17:09:54Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > That’s what I tell her. > > She says they make me look like a professor or a weather man. Hey, I _like_ Bill Nye! And Doctor George was the greatest weather man ever! To be fair, my husband requires my approval for his choice of necktie. It all started when people bought him some ugly ties and… _he just wore them_, apparently thinking they were acceptable. He finally dumped his collection out on the bed for me to go through at will. He now just relies upon me to purchase ties for him. But I am [really good](https://www.etsy.com/listing/177529989/anatomical-brain-necktie-brain-dot-print?ref=shop_home_active_64) at picking them out. (I got him that one when he passed the state licensing exam… he’s a psychologist.) He’s getting the neurons next. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/33 "2017-12-22T17:15:35Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > An excavator. Not a big full size one, just a mini-excavator. Apparently picking up pine cones and plowing the driveway aren’t good enough reasons to own one. Full-sized excavators are called [snorts](https://celticjlp.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/are-you-my-mother-snort.jpg), and I can relate. I’d really like a baby snort. Actually, we have a whole driving game for this. Snorts are worth one point, a collection of three or more snorts is a _snoggle_, those are worth 5 points. They only count as a _snoggle_ if the snorts have line of sight with each other. Occasionally, we see them eating, but they are usually asleep. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/34 "2017-12-22T17:20:18Z")
You guys are really making me appreciate my wife. (Even more). I can’t think of anything I want that she would discourage. Hate to be a thread shitter. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/35 "2017-12-22T17:28:29Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Mrs. L.A. will not be seen with me if I am wearing a bow tie. > [@xizor](#): > > And I am not allowed to buy any more golf shirts with the Star Trek logo on them. Apparently 3 is enough even though there are 5 work days in a week. :rolleyes: I suppose my [Star Trek bow tie](https://static1.squarespace.com/static/57969996f7e0ab0318e48e6c/57c74572cd0f6890f76e438b/57c87a87d1758e74171aeac6/1472756360951/GeorgeTakei.png) would be right out. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/36 "2017-12-22T17:31:34Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > You guys are really making me appreciate my wife. (Even more). > I can’t think of anything I want that she would discourage. Hate to be a thread shitter. I’m sure you could think of something. A cow? A houseboat? A herd of tarantulas? Maybe you aren’t really opening yourself to the fullness of your desires. A while ago on these boards someone suggested getting tiny gazelles for the cats to hunt. Husband and I are both on board with that. Alas. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/37 "2017-12-22T17:32:51Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I suppose my [Star Trek bow tie](https://static1.squarespace.com/static/57969996f7e0ab0318e48e6c/57c74572cd0f6890f76e438b/57c87a87d1758e74171aeac6/1472756360951/GeorgeTakei.png) would be right out. That’s a win in my book. Actually quite tasteful. Sr. Weasel doesn’t do bowties, though. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/38 "2017-12-22T17:38:33Z")
> [@jaycat](#): > > A girlfriend. I was going to say this as a joke, because honestly she’s never told me no to anything. Our agreement (we are not married) allows me to have a gf in addition to her, as long as I explain it to her first. Basically, she is ok with me seeking sex outside our relationship _if she is not enough for me_. In reality, I struggle to keep up with her, and so I do not want/need a gf. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/39 "2017-12-22T17:52:47Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I’m sure you could think of something. A cow? A houseboat? A herd of tarantulas? Maybe you aren’t really opening yourself to the fullness of your desires. > > A while ago on these boards someone suggested getting tiny gazelles for the cats to hunt. Husband and I are both on board with that. Alas. As you know, I deeply desire a squid gun. Just don’t ask me how many legs squids have! I have to admit that I want the gazelles just for having the gazelles. Bad Kitty! Don’t hunt my beautiful vaulting wildlife. Of course, I still have my name on the waiting list for the miniature giraffes. I do not yet have my magical secret kingdom hidden in the attic. It’s big enough. Hubby won’t sign off on the renovation budget. In reverse, my husband has begun many conversations recently like so, “home grown eggs would be so nice” or “we have room for a coop”. I end them thus, “I am not cleaning up after chickens, who will be cleaning the coop?” ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/40 "2017-12-22T18:00:00Z")
An ocelot. If they weren’t illegal and endangered and I could be sure I’d be able to take good care of it and give it a happy life, I’d have one in a heartbeat. He loves them too, but his limits of practicality are a bit more…um…practical than mine. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027.md?page=3)