# Things Your SO Won't Let You Have **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 22, 2017, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027 "2017-12-22T04:43:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/41 "2017-12-22T18:16:26Z")
A snake. Snakes eat guinea pigs and coffeespouse _loves_ guinea pigs. And an organ donor card. She knows it’s the right thing to do, but she doesn’t want anyone else to have my beautiful eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/42 "2017-12-22T18:37:48Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Maybe a Red Fox (, dummy! 😃 [I know they’re not rodents, neither are rabbits.]) Can’t say that I blame her. I wouldn’t let my wife have a [dead comedian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redd_Foxx), either. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/43 "2017-12-22T18:37:54Z")
> [@coffeecat](#): > > A snake. Snakes eat guinea pigs and coffeespouse _loves_ guinea pigs. And an organ donor card. She knows it’s the right thing to do, but she doesn’t want anyone else to have my beautiful eyes. That’s… creepy! Says the girl who wants a giant African land snail. Although I promised my husband I would never murder him for his skin, so perhaps I haven’t got much room to talk. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/44 "2017-12-22T18:49:09Z")
> [@coffeecat](#): > > A snake. Snakes eat guinea pigs and coffeespouse _loves_ guinea pigs. And an organ donor card. She knows it’s the right thing to do, but she doesn’t want anyone else to have my beautiful eyes. I had no problem with The Bestest Boyfriend having a pet snake and iguana, but if we’d moved together we would have had problems with their placement. I still think that having the iguana’s terrarium with its heat lamps placed directly under the a/c makes zero sense. Maybe less than zero, even. He never let me pet Iggy\*, but I did get to play with Cleo a couple of times. - Hey, I never claimed I liked TBB for his originality coming up with names. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/45 "2017-12-22T19:45:02Z")
> [@jaycat](#): > > A girlfriend. Maybe if you let your wife pick out the girlfriend, and suggest endearments you could use, she’d be more amenable to the idea. Give her a sense of proprietorship. Make her feel as if it’s _our_ girlfriend, not _my_ girlfriend. Of course, that might not work out for the best. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/46 "2017-12-22T20:00:16Z")
A motorcycle. Not that we can afford one, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/47 "2017-12-22T20:10:48Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > That’s… creepy! Says the girl who wants a giant African land snail. Snails are cool. I’ve kept snails. Not illegal giant African ones, though. BTW, what do you say to the other convicts when you’re in prison for illegal snail possession? ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/48 "2017-12-22T20:23:30Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I suppose my [Star Trek bow tie](https://static1.squarespace.com/static/57969996f7e0ab0318e48e6c/57c74572cd0f6890f76e438b/57c87a87d1758e74171aeac6/1472756360951/GeorgeTakei.png) would be right out. I would love that, but even though it is not a shirt, I’m sure she would give me the :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/49 "2017-12-22T20:25:19Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/50 "2017-12-22T20:27:21Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Full-sized excavators are called [snorts](https://celticjlp.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/are-you-my-mother-snort.jpg), and I can relate. I’d really like a baby snort. Hey, that’s a shovel and not an excavator! My SO won’t allow me to nitpick our 3-year old son’s terminology when he sees construction equipment. Upon preview, I can understand why. :smack: > [@](#): > > Actually, we have a whole driving game for this. Snorts are worth one point, a collection of three or more snorts is a _snoggle_, those are worth 5 points. They only count as a _snoggle_ if the snorts have line of sight with each other. Occasionally, we see them eating, but they are usually asleep. On the other hand, I’m completely fine with made-up words. Can we adopt this game? He’s going to love it! ---
**Author:** ![StrTrkr777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@StrTrkr777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrTrkr777)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/51 "2017-12-22T20:36:26Z")
It was a gun, then when we inherited her dad’s backup service weapon, it was kind of hard for her to say no to the one I wanted (how is two guns worse than one?) And I had to get a wall gun safe to store them in. Then it was a motorcycle. She would have let me buy her dad’s from his estate, but we did not have that kind of money. But I could not just go buy a cheaper one. I just bought it and dealt with her being mad for a couple of days. I guess I will have to go with a Dodge Viper. Mainly because we cannot afford one, but also I would supposedly either wrap it around a tree, or cost us more in speeding tickets than the car would cost. Also, eventhough we watch a lot of TV, the 60" in the living room and the 32" in the bedroom are supposedly big enough. Apparently our house will not accomodate anything larger. I think she just needs to give the 80" TV a chance. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/52 "2017-12-22T20:56:27Z")
> [@StrTrkr777](#): > > … > I guess I will have to go with a Dodge Viper. Mainly because we cannot afford one, but also I would supposedly either wrap it around a tree, or cost us more in speeding tickets than the car would cost. > > … Funny thing. An old boss bought one back in probably 1997 or so. He sold it a few weeks later, after an event that ended with him begging Jesus to quickly take control of the beast. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/53 "2017-12-22T20:57:51Z")
For I long time, my answer to this question would have been “Hulu.” He held out for like 7 years. I finally talked him into it and now it’s all we watch. Oh, and also, a second cat. I don’t know how I talked him into that one. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t. The little furry asshole causes all kinds of trouble. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/54 "2017-12-22T21:07:28Z")
A buddy of mine is a 63 year old adult. He occasionally buys things he knows his wife will object to; an uber-expensive drone, a tricked-out Harley (his first bike), an expensive watch, etc. Then he hides the purchase from her. Doesn’t wear the watch, stores the MC in a friend’s garage, only flies the drone when she isn’t home. Until she fucks up. She comes home with shoes that cost way too much, but they’re just so nice, and she needs shoes for parties, etc. He shakes his head disapprovingly. She says she’ll return the shoes, but he magnanimously tells her to keep them. Then he shows her the watch, drone, motorcycle, whatever. He’s really good at it! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/55 "2017-12-22T21:30:14Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > A buddy of mine is a 63 year old adult. He occasionally buys things he knows his wife will object to; an uber-expensive drone, a tricked-out Harley (his first bike), an expensive watch, etc. > > Then he hides the purchase from her. Doesn’t wear the watch, stores the MC in a friend’s garage, only flies the drone when she isn’t home. > > Until she fucks up. She comes home with shoes that cost way too much, but they’re just so nice, and she needs shoes for parties, etc. He shakes his head disapprovingly. She says she’ll return the shoes, but he magnanimously tells her to keep them. Then he shows her the watch, drone, motorcycle, whatever. He’s really good at it! I couldn’t hide a purchase like that from my spouse, and feel right about it. Yet I know it happens. My In-Laws do it to each other all the time. ---
**Author:** ![StrTrkr777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@StrTrkr777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrTrkr777)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/56 "2017-12-22T21:44:13Z")
Funny thing is, I definitely did not try to hide the motorcycle from my wife, but I did not want to tell my mom (I knew she would be difficult to deal with, and I was 38 at the time). It was my oldest daughter that ratted me out. My mom had called her and reminded her it was time to go to school (she was in middle school) and asked where I was, and she said “riding to work on the motorcycle”. BUSTED. There are a LOT of things my Mom would not want me to have (she is no fun). ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/57 "2017-12-22T21:47:30Z")
I would never hide my ‘crow’, I would take him everywhere riding on my shoulder. People would be so happy to look at his cool-ness. And I could bask in the glory of the “how did you do its” or " You’re so smart to have taught him those things". Man, I really want a crow, soooooo bad. Why,oh,why can’t I have one? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/58 "2017-12-22T21:51:31Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I couldn’t hide a purchase like that from my spouse, and feel right about it. Yet I know it happens. My In-Laws do it to each other all the time. Yeah, it seems _wrong_, but for this couple it seems to work. They’re both happy, so I’ll just watch and wonder. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/59 "2017-12-22T22:22:15Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I would never hide my ‘crow’, I would take him everywhere riding on my shoulder. People would be so happy to look at his cool-ness. And I could bask in the glory of the “how did you do its” or " You’re so smart to have taught him those things". Man, I really want a crow, soooooo bad. Why,oh,why can’t I have one? Because your husband’s reply to this request is…“nevermore” ? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2017, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027/60 "2017-12-22T23:02:34Z")
So true, I think he’s afraid of them. I wonder if they can be taught to talk? I watched a PBS special called ‘Bird brains’ the other night, they are really smart apparently. It just reinforced my desire to have one. I will have one, some day! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-your-so-wont-let-you-have/805027.md?page=4)