# Things you've learned from video games..... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 1, 2005, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387 "2005-10-01T23:11:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/61 "2005-10-03T17:01:35Z")
> [@Brainiac4](#): > > To be an architect in Rhode Island, you must be clinically insane. > > For those not in the know, City of Heroes is set in Paragon City, Rhode Island. Little old ladies must obviously be super-strong, otherwise the super powered punk would have been able to wrestle her purse away. SWAT team members tend to run away, screaming like little girls. The “maximum security” prison isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/62 "2005-10-03T17:38:51Z")
I have quads of steel, I can walk, run and “stand” in a crouch for hours. Weber is a fucking idiot. In the most beautiful twilight surroundings, I insist on using night vision. Aliens learn and adopt English quickly. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/63 "2005-10-03T18:20:08Z")
All video game heroes go to the same hair salon. All villians in survival horror games use the same arcitect. (Maybe that’s how the Riddler makes money in his spare time) The easiest way to make money is to go out and kill monsters. The tougher the monsters the more money you make. Suprizingly though you don’t make any money at all for killing the super tough bosses. Save often and just press reset. The eternal triangle: Giant reptile loves princess, princess loves overweight Italian plumber. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/64 "2005-10-03T18:23:53Z")
Girls love the silent type. Even though he’s wearing what looks like a dress. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/65 "2005-10-03T20:07:41Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > The eternal triangle: Giant reptile loves princess, princess loves overweight Italian plumber. I’m not so sure. Think about it. 1.)Princess Toadstool is continually kidnapped by Bowser. 2.)Bowser has 7 kids, but no apparent mother. Coincidence? Let’s not forget the implied Stockholm Syndrome Toadstool is suffering from. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/66 "2005-10-03T20:08:08Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > All villians in survival horror games use the same arcitect. Ah, yes, I. M. Pein. He’s been operating for millenia now, and is quite possibly of extraterrestrial origin, given that he’s designed eveything from Peruvian catacombs to alien bases deep under Antarctica to London Underground stations. His trademark motifs remain constant: the inconveniently located switch which must be accessed by clambering and leaping up a series of collapsing and shifting platforms, and which once pulled activates a spiked pendulum which must be quickly sprinted past before the door closes - watch out for the crumbling floor and the lava pits beneath. Due to the secretive nature of his clients, however, he has sadly never made the cover of Architectural Digest. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/67 "2005-10-03T20:38:50Z")
If I get poisoned by the venom of an animal, it is never fatal, and can be instantly cured with a cheap antidote item. Also, all animals have the same exact venom, so the antidote will work on any kind of poison. Contrary to popular belief, being slashed by sharp claws or stabbed with a sword will not mortally wound me, in fact the injury will be equivalent of someone punching me really hard. If I vastly overpower an enemy, their giant stinger impaling me will hardly hurt me at all. Primitive space battles were quite crude. Enemy craft fired projectiles that moved much slower than the typical top speed of a fighter, though contact with these projectiles meant instant destruction of your fighter. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/68 "2005-10-03T22:35:45Z")
> [@RobuSensei](#): > > Stray away from the mysterious pale girl for too long, and the big black horny guys will go after her. You mean like “Lovecraftian demons,” or like “Superfly”? ---
**Author:** ![NoPretentiousCodename](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/82dd89/32.png) [@NoPretentiousCodename](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoPretentiousCodename)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/69 "2005-10-03T23:12:30Z")
I, of course, want some Rye. ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/70 "2005-10-04T03:20:15Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > You mean like “Lovecraftian demons,” or like “Superfly”? The first one, I guess. I was thinking of “Ico.” The reward for vanquishing the ancient foe is to have all reality change so that he – and you (or your status as the Heroes of Legend) never existed in the first place. All you need to protect your garden from burrowing pests is a bicycle pump. Conversely, to beat the above-ground pests, you need some sort of shooty-thing that you control with a trackball. In order to check that you are awake and thinking straight, the paramedics in the ambulance will ask you a series of difficult math questions and bizzare trivia riddles. (I seem to be getting kind of obscure here…) ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/71 "2005-10-04T03:35:33Z")
Even at point-blank range, many sniper weapons only become deadly and accurate if you use the scope. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/72 "2005-10-04T04:38:41Z")
> [@RobuSensei](#): > > Wingmen are utterly useless. In some cases, they are an active hinderance. Only rarely are you allowed to shoot down your wingman yourself, but when you do, there are no consequences. You even get to say a few respectful words at his funeral. (Anyone know this game?) _Wing Commander_ of course. Though they did improve the AI for the Secret Missions. Of course, they now throw 20+ Kilrathi at you every single mission and I still kill 3/4 of them while my wingman doesn’t do anything except take the heat off me and occasionally taking out the big primary target. (Guess what I’ve been playing/replaying? I finished the original campaign with 123 kills. But the missions in SM1 are really really tough and I’ve started cheating by burning in everywhere–hit the nav points, take out the cap ship, or whatever–then burning home. Hey, I’m supposed to complete my primary objective, not take out the entire Kilrathi navy singlehanded, right?) ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/73 "2005-10-04T05:05:33Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > primary objective What is primary main objective?! To destroy the evil power!! ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/74 "2005-10-04T05:06:28Z")
> [@chaoticbear](#): > > What is primary main objective?! > > To destroy the evil power!! Hey, now, I was talking about _Wing Commander_, not _Pokemon_. ---
**Author:** ![LadySybil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c89c15/32.png) [@LadySybil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadySybil)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/75 "2005-10-04T05:28:38Z")
Stars are made of everything you can possibly roll up in a sticky ball. Constellations are made up of what their shape entails. (Crabs for Cancer, Geese for Cygnus, young girls for Virgo, etc.) People fall for the “Secretly Summon a Rat into a Bar and Dismiss It Before Everyone’s Eyes” trick every time, in every town. (_The Bard’s Tale_) Princesses are way more trouble than they’re worth. Ancient Rome had convertibles with mounted rocket launchers. Orcish sailors are some of the most cheerful people you’d ever meet. Human sailors, on the other hand… You can carry any amount of ammo and weapons and still be able to take out a chainsaw and not drop anything- or slice yourself with said chainsaw. Supercharging your running will make you defy gravity by going through loop-de-loops and sidewinders. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/76 "2005-10-04T05:38:30Z")
You can only wear one ring, one bracelet, and one necklace at once. Your fireball necklace is usable from beneath your bulky armor with no trouble. Non-humans are scum. Even if they’ve just helped save the world, they get no respect. Gigantic dragon-things are experts in genetic engineering. It’s really easy to make people mad at you. Open one little door, even though you don’t go in the room, and suddenly you’re a wanted man. Or woman. Clerics never trip over their long robes, and though they’re not allowed to use edged weapons, they can kick butt with farming implements like flails. That really snazzy shield is always cursed. You can’t trust the extremely cute little gray-alien-looking-guys in tie-dyed outfits. ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/77 "2005-10-04T14:23:10Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > _Wing Commander_ of course. Yep! During my freshman year of university, one of the guys on our floor set up his room as the PC gaming center, and Wing Commander was one of the most popular. I still remember various people screaming in annoyance when they did something to get them on the “bad” path…and get Maniac as their wingman. After a few rounds of that, one of us hit upon the plan: Get to the first waypoint, and kill Maniac before burning to the second waypoint. Those were the days. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/78 "2005-10-04T17:29:31Z")
“Ninja”, “Samurai” and “Adventurer” are valid career choices. “Vandal” and “Thief” are also good career choices. Being a plumber is a lot more exciting than it seems. Any machinery leaft alone for any peroid of time turns into bezerker killing machines. There’s always another platform when you need one. If there isn’t, simply look for a gadget to get to the next one. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/79 "2005-10-04T17:43:47Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > There’s always another platform when you need one. If there isn’t, simply look for a gadget to get to the next one. Or you can jump blindly and find the hidden one. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/80 "2005-10-04T17:50:11Z")
> [@RobuSensei](#): > > In order to check that you are awake and thinking straight, the paramedics in the ambulance will ask you a series of difficult math questions and bizzare trivia riddles. (I seem to be getting kind of obscure here…) Incredible Crisis, of course. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387.md?page=5)