# Things you've learned from video games..... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 1, 2005, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387 "2005-10-01T23:11:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/101 "2005-10-05T11:13:34Z")
Warrior clans with a much-vaunted “bushido” code of battle honour have an unscrupulous penchant for attacking you only when you’re unarmed and they’re invisible. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/102 "2005-10-05T14:22:17Z")
If at any point during your adventures, you should hop aboard a cartoonish little dragon, annoying bongo music will follow you everywhere, providing an irritating distraction. > [@KCSuze](#): > > When you save your career-victim princess, you will only get the most perfunctory of thanks. Maybe she and that large hulking villain have something going on… Ain’t it the truth? I mentioned this to my sister once as we were watching the wrap-up scenes of Mario 64. Poor old Mario had just returned from a harrowing encounter with King Bowser and all he got was a kiss on the nose, and a cake that Princess Peach had yet to bake. Sis said Mario should’ve said, “HEY!! How about a blow job!” It took a long time for me to stop laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Meleemancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@Meleemancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meleemancer)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/103 "2005-10-05T17:16:22Z")
Goldthorn grows on top of hills, often surrounded by sneaky panthers. Don’t discharge the lightning gun underwater. When preparing for a long journey, leave in April. You require more Vespene gas. When working as a cabbie, passengers will pay you more the faster you get to their destination, especially if you leave more than five seconds to spare. Trees are an essential component of any star bigger than 10m. When confronted with a space problem, such as overzealous space police or a kidnapped space President, dance to solve it. Don’t stand next to Circle of Thorns mages. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/104 "2005-10-05T18:07:42Z")
Blobs make great pets, and subsist entirely on jellybeans. Said jellybeans allow the blob to take any one of several dozen amazingly helpful forms. ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/105 "2005-10-05T21:38:58Z")
If you blow up a giant rock it will expose a hole and if you jump down into the hole there will be an amazing Fairy fountain that will reward you with life energy and magic. Talking fish have amazing directional skills and can draw out a detailed map for you. If you walk into a room metal bars will immediatly go down over the door you just entered through, not letting you leave until you kill then enemy. When you finally do kill an enemy or solve a puzzle, a noise will sound from above and a treasure chest will appear. Flying pots will random come and try and hit you in the face. ---
**Author:** ![Skott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Skott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skott)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/106 "2005-10-06T00:38:45Z")
> [@chaoticbear](#): > > Tell me the first one isn’t from FFIV. Please. > > I resent that comment. DDR only has 4, unless you’re talking about one of the solo machines, in which case there are 6 (six!) places to step. As someone else said, the first one is from the Monkey Island series. And the second, I was basing on the idea in DDR that when your feet are at rest, they are in the center, even though it’s not a spot that sends any signal to the game. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/107 "2005-10-06T01:59:07Z")
Imperial Admirals are almost always incompetant. Imperial Grand Admirals are incredibly smart and clever. Be careful not to confuse the two. If you fail your mission, you will be able to repeat it until you get it right. However, the number of ships you lose will be remembered. If you need to shoot people a lot, you will always have access to a shotgun at some point. If you are serious, wide open spaces are always an invitation to be ambushed by hundreds of enemies. Beware dutch blobs. If there is a graveyard or a tomb, there’s a 50% chance you will run into zombies there. The torches will always be lit before you get there(or they’ve been going for millions of years). Things found in ancient tombs are always magical. Despite pressing danger, you can usally go ahead and walk and kill monsters at your leasure. However, if you see a clock on the screen or there’s an audio countdown, run like hell. If you have to escort a bomber, chances are, it will be piloted by a “Special”(as in short bus) crew. You may be stuck in the middle of nowhere, but nonetheless, you’ll probably be able to spend money on stuff at the convienent shop. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/108 "2005-10-06T02:45:04Z")
> [@Skott](#): > > And the second, I was basing on the idea in DDR that when your feet are at rest, they are in the center, even though it’s not a spot that sends any signal to the game. Heh, not if you’re good, they’re not. You lose a bunch of reaction time moving your feet back there. ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/109 "2005-10-06T03:35:14Z")
Being the only competent being in a sea of others whose function is supposedly identical to yours can drive you insane. You don’t know when you might have to kill a co-worker, and your best friend keeps dying at inconvenient moments (only to inexplicably return the next time around). A few hundred years from now, it might be worth it to kill everything that moves, declare martial law, and impose an Orwellian dystoypia. Or just go into orbit and nuke the whole place. Civilization will rebuild itself eventually, and you can hide a weapon of mass destruction on an island just in case that ever happens. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Skott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skott)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/110 "2005-10-06T06:36:58Z")
> [@chaoticbear](#): > > Heh, not if you’re good, they’re not. You lose a bunch of reaction time moving your feet back there. I kinda figured someone would say that… and it’s true. But I always tend to _start_ with my feet in the middle. Whether they ever end up there again is another question… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Erinaceus\_europaeus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47774/32.png) [@Erinaceus\_europaeus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erinaceus_europaeus)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/111 "2005-10-06T10:38:33Z")
In the post-apocalyptic future where the state of the art in portable weapons is the 20s style death ray, and fascist government officials wear powered full body armour, mafia types will still be wearing 3-piece suits, hats and tommy-guns. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/112 "2005-10-06T11:33:05Z")
> [@Erinaceus europaeus](#): > > In the post-apocalyptic future where the state of the art in portable weapons is the 20s style death ray, and fascist government officials wear powered full body armour, mafia types will still be wearing 3-piece suits, hats and tommy-guns. If it ain’t broke… ---
**Author:** ![metj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@metj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/metj)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/113 "2005-10-06T13:12:26Z")
You can be in a group of 40 people storming a castle and the enemy won’t even notice that you are there until you are about five feet in front of them. ---
**Author:** ![Windwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/5e9695/32.png) [@Windwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Windwalker)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/114 "2005-10-06T14:47:23Z")
Should you enter someone’s mind or dream or body, there will usually be a convenient shop for you to refill your supplies and outfit new weapons and armor, as well as a nifty place to sleep as well. Speaking of sleep, there will conveniently always be enough beds for your entire party at the local inn. All women who join you in your travels will be beautiful or wear glasses (or both). ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/115 "2005-10-06T14:54:43Z")
Dracula never dies. Period. > [@](#): > > Killing yourself gives you a better chance of resurrecting your loved one from her death at the hands of alchemists. Sorry, but this one totally went over my head. What’s this from? ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/116 "2005-10-06T15:46:24Z")
> [@smiling bandit](#): > > Sorry, but this one totally went over my head. What’s this from? Zork: Nemesis. One of the darker games in the series. Worth it, though. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/117 "2005-10-06T15:47:55Z")
> [@Windwalker](#): > > Speaking of sleep, there will conveniently always be enough beds for your entire party at the local inn. Or if there isn’t, it doesn’t matter because everyone will sleep in the same bed. ---
**Author:** ![A\_qui\_profite\_le\_crime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@A\_qui\_profite\_le\_crime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_qui_profite_le_crime)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/118 "2005-10-06T16:44:47Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > If you are serious, wide open spaces are always an invitation to be ambushed by hundreds of enemies. Heh. And that’s just for the first wave. Running backwards of forward makes no difference. You’ll always run at the same speed. Culture is the single most devastating weapon known to man. It can easily disintergrate more than 10 elite tank and mechanized infantry divisions. A nuclear explosion over water creates no pollution. ---
**Author:** ![Meleemancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@Meleemancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meleemancer)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/119 "2005-10-06T16:57:08Z")
U rappin’ AWFUL! There are always more ninja. When in doubt, play Zelda’s Lullaby. My zealots go in front of my dragoons. Beware, he lives. Place your bombs at intersections whenever possible, ideally with a clear line to another bomb. Stomping on things with wings causes the wings to vanish. > [@Skott](#): > > I kinda figured someone would say that… and it’s true. But I always tend to _start_ with my feet in the middle. Whether they ever end up there again is another question… 😉 I usually fidget around the pads to the beat to establish a rhythm, especially when playing doubles. Although with the In The Groove series, the middle being another button is true. The best thing to do when you spot certain types of mine layouts is to jump in the middle, because it’s easier than figuring out what’s safe. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387/120 "2005-10-06T20:00:09Z")
Women are not only as strong as men, but they can get that strong without developing great big muscles. Virtually all nonhuman life consists of insanely aggressive, often supernatural predators. Despite the fact that resurrection magic/potions are widely available, nobody but your party seems to use them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-video-games/324387.md?page=7)