# Things you've learned from watching cartoons **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 10, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903 "2011-02-10T16:14:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/21 "2011-02-10T19:41:12Z")
Talking dogs will do anything for a Scooby Snack. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/22 "2011-02-10T19:41:27Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > When you attempt to run from danger, your legs will at first spin in a circle around your body, leaving you stranded in place for a few seconds. And that action will, of course, create bongo drum sounds. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/23 "2011-02-10T19:49:32Z")
Moosylvania is a disputed region between the US and Canada. Canada says it belongs to the US, and the US says it belongs to Canada. Being hit on the head by a heavy object, such as a piano, will cause one’s body to collapse in an accordion-like fashion. Walking thereafter will be accompanied by humorous wheezing noises. Being hit on the head by a safe, however, invariably causes one to pass through the bottom, ending up trapped within the safe itself. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/24 "2011-02-10T20:03:18Z")
Cats are dirty rotten scoundrels, unless you paint a white stripe on their back, in which case they’re helpless victims. Adult voices sound like trombones. There’s one animal in the entire desert that is edible. Smurfette is a slut. The most dangerous and powerful fighter in the world is an old lady armed with an umbrella. All transforming robots have a humanoid form, no matter how inefficient that form is for its given task. Little kids are the best pilots. Always. The only thing better in life than being a 5 star master pokemon master of mastery is to become a 6 star master of pokemon master of mastery. Nobody will ever die until after 7pm. All A-list superheroes are surrounded by an entourage of at least 3 C-list heroes. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/25 "2011-02-10T20:39:41Z")
Painting a picture of a tunnel on a wall or sheer rockface will create a real tunnel – but not for whoever painted it. Factories always make the sound of Raymond Scott’s “Powerhouse” when the operate. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/26 "2011-02-10T20:40:04Z")
Running characters will pass by the same pieces of background several times, no matter which direction they’re running. ---
**Author:** ![Gil-Martin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Gil-Martin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gil-Martin)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/27 "2011-02-10T20:48:46Z")
If I recall correctly, I also learned from cartoons that an acceptable treatment for head injuries is to smoosh any resultant lumps or bumps back down into the scalp. ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/28 "2011-02-10T20:59:25Z")
Monsters are the most iiiinteresting people. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/29 "2011-02-10T21:04:40Z")
> [@Gil-Martin](#): > > If I recall correctly, I also learned from cartoons that an acceptable treatment for head injuries is to smoosh any resultant lumps or bumps back down into the scalp. This, however, is an ineffective treatment, as it will simply cause the bump to re-emerge elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/30 "2011-02-10T21:17:00Z")
Being thrown with enough force at a wall to punch through will leave a neat hole shaped like you. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/31 "2011-02-10T21:31:38Z")
Imbecilic innocence is an infallible protection against harm. Anyone who falls through ice into water will be instantly flash-frozen. Fortunately they will thaw out with nothing worse than a bad cold. Whales are cavernously hollow inside. The bottom of the ocean is well lit and seawater is clear enough to see for miles. Drinking a whole bottle of tabasco sauce will make you turn bright red and have smoke and flames shoot out of your mouth, nose and ears. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/32 "2011-02-10T21:51:02Z")
It’s perfectly possible to drink something that instantly dissolves spoons, although you’ll have steam come out your ears and go through some bizarre contortions. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/33 "2011-02-10T22:01:26Z")
All men sound suspiciously like Paul Frees and all women sound suspiciously like June Foray. All animals sound suspiciously like Mel Blanc. The smaller the animal, the more intelligent it is. Mice and birds are smarter than cats, cats are smarter than dogs, dogs are smarter than bears. All animals are smarter than humans. Amazing, automated production lines can turn a 500-foot tall tree into a single toothpick or bowling pin in a matter of seconds. [QUOTE=Der Trihs] Being thrown with enough force at a wall to punch through will leave a neat hole shaped like you. [/QUOTE] Being hit with a frying pan, however, leaves a face-shaped impression in the pan. Facial muscles do not move when a person speaks, except for an odd up and down motion by the mouth that has no connection to what words are being spoken. She’s not bad, she’s just drawn that way. Man is in the forest. ---
**Author:** ![Gil-Martin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Gil-Martin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gil-Martin)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/34 "2011-02-10T22:05:01Z")
Not only will one be strong to the finish if one eats one’s spinach, but one will become exponentially stronger almost instantly. Also, the magic green stuff is canned in metal cans so flimsy that one can crush the container with just one hand . . . although, even in his pre-spinach state, Popeye has pretty big forearms, so maybe that particular feat isn’t so unrealistic. Anyway, I learned that spinach is good for you (though I have yet to acquire a taste for the stuff). ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/35 "2011-02-10T22:17:16Z")
As long as you never study Law or Gravity, you can continue to walk on air regardless of whether you actually notice this fact. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/36 "2011-02-10T22:26:07Z")
> [@Gil-Martin](#): > > Not only will one be strong to the finish if one eats one’s spinach, but one will become exponentially stronger almost instantly. > > Also, the magic green stuff is canned in metal cans so flimsy that one can crush the container with just one hand . . . although, even in his pre-spinach state, Popeye has pretty big forearms, so maybe that particular feat isn’t so unrealistic. > > Anyway, I learned that spinach is good for you (though I have yet to acquire a taste for the stuff). A pipe is an excellent musical instrument, as you can make “toot-toot” noises all day long. It is also a useful cutting torch or welding tool. If you lean over the stern of a boat and rotate the pipe in the water, it will propel the boat fast enough to escape any persuing whales, octopi, or enemy ships. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/37 "2011-02-10T22:50:24Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Except our cats never make that hitting-the-tin-pan cacophony that Hanna-Barbera characters make when they try this. > [@BubbaDog](#): > > And that action will, of course, create bongo drum sounds. Animation trivia: It’s called Temple Block Riot. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/38 "2011-02-10T23:06:15Z")
You can put a boxing glove on the end of a trombone slide and then punch someone out by playing the trombone. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/39 "2011-02-11T01:39:38Z")
You can describe it with adjectives. A noun is a person, place or thing. The world, she’s a-round like-a my head. A cat will assume the shape of its container. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/40 "2011-02-11T01:48:29Z")
She’s going to pull the football, you fucking moron. Bills get really passed in Congress because they can walk and sing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903.md?page=3)