# Things you've learned from watching cartoons **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 10, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903 "2011-02-10T16:14:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/41 "2011-02-11T01:50:43Z")
Bombs are black spheres with a burning fuse. If you pinch the fuse, it will go out – but immediately relight. When people aren’t looking, inanimate objects come to life. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/42 "2011-02-11T02:51:04Z")
Everything falls faster than an anvil. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/43 "2011-02-11T02:55:49Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Everything falls faster than an anvil. Until whatever (ok, whoever) it is lands, at which point the anvil suddenly accelerates so that it lands immediately after they do. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/44 "2011-02-11T02:59:16Z")
Any animal, robot, or ticking time bomb in a dress is indistinguishable from a real and irresistible female of whatever species is desired. The inner workings of a piano are territorial and will toss and smack around any intruders without missing a note of the classical music being played on it. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/45 "2011-02-11T03:41:25Z")
There is always an anvil within arm’s reach. No anvil is ever secured to the ground. All anvils fall small-side first. If a person or animal is standing on the ground and the anvil falls on their head, the anvil will either a) shatter into little pieces or b) shove them into the ground. There is no other possible outcome. Anvils are usually very heavy, unless they are resting on a head bump. If the head bump rises, the anvil is easily moved. Anvils are only used for one thing: dropping. If something actually needs to be smithied, it’s ordered from the ACME company. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/46 "2011-02-11T03:46:44Z")
When you hear the phrase, “Of course you know, this means war,” you’re screwed. Beware of pronoun trouble. Time travelers love bad puns. ---
**Author:** ![Sally\_Mander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@Sally\_Mander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sally_Mander)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/47 "2011-02-11T04:26:14Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Anyone who falls through ice into water will be instantly flash-frozen. Fortunately they will thaw out with nothing worse than a bad cold. If you don’t want to wait for them to thaw, you can just whack them with a baseball bat and the ice will shatter into thousands of tiny pieces. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/48 "2011-02-11T05:06:55Z")
> [@YoSaffBridge](#): > > If you don’t want to wait for them to thaw, you can just whack them with a baseball bat and the ice will shatter into thousands of tiny pieces. At which point the victim’s skin (or fur for that matter) will be blue but will quickly fade back to its normal color. All magnets are red, U-shaped, and are powerful enough to attract heavy metal objects (such as anvils) from miles away. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/49 "2011-02-11T06:42:04Z")
Every tree has a big mallet hidden behind it. If you dump a bunch of concrete in a pile, within a couple of seconds it will change into the shape of a cube and solidify. Kangaroos look like big mice. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/50 "2011-02-11T09:17:36Z")
> [@The\_Tooth](#): > > A noun is a person, place or thing. It isn’t? Let’s see…Getting shot just makes water spill out of the holes when you drink it. You’re fine otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/51 "2011-02-11T09:37:55Z")
For any pair of friends, one will be the tall and/or large dumb one, the other is the short and/or small smart one. All babies can talk but only other babies and animals can hear them. Losing your glasses is the equivalent of being blindfolded. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/52 "2011-02-11T10:09:39Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > Kangaroos look like big mice. I’ve always thought that was odd, because really you could conceivably believe a kangaroo is a big rabbit. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/53 "2011-02-11T12:59:56Z")
Give it up, Brain. He is **never** pondering what you’re pondering. Because he’s insane. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/54 "2011-02-11T13:17:02Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > When you attempt to run from danger, your legs will at first spin in a circle around your body, leaving you stranded in place for a few seconds. Then when you finally do take off, you’ll leave a cloud-shaped version of you standing there for a few seconds. > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Being thrown with enough force at a wall to punch through will leave a neat hole shaped like you. **OH YEA!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/55 "2011-02-11T13:34:19Z")
A group of animal friends can contain no more than one of any species. Some animals can talk and some can’t. That’s just the way it is and nobody questions it. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/56 "2011-02-11T14:12:50Z")
If you find yourself standing on the very tip of a cliff, and then make the mistake of looking either (a) down, or (b) at the camera, the tip of the cliff will break off and plummet, taking you with it. If, however, you attempt to subvert this natural law by stepping back from the tip of the cliff just before the crack appears, the entire cliff will now plummet, taking you with it but leaving the tip on which you were previously standing hovering in mid air. Related to this is the phenomenon of sawing a circular hole in a platform/floor/ice around another character. The piece of ground on which the bad guy is standing will always fall, regardless of whether it is the small circular piece or the large area surrounding it. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/57 "2011-02-11T15:24:28Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > Give it up, Brain. He is **never** pondering what you’re pondering. Because he’s insane. No, it’s that the original experiment that increased their intelligence made Pinky _just_ smart enough to be stupid. > [@Wheelz](#): > > Some animals can talk and some can’t. That’s just the way it is and nobody questions it. The talking animals always wear a small piece of token clothing, such as a hat, tie, gloves or a short vest, to signify that they’re sapient. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/58 "2011-02-11T15:32:26Z")
If one jumps up in the air and spin rapidly along a vertical axis, when they land they will instantly tunnel to a depth that will remove them from danger. Presumably this new tunnel will also connect with an existing matrix of other tunnels. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/59 "2011-02-11T15:41:00Z")
Being struck by lightning, or indeed being subjected to any powerful electrical charge, will cause a person’s bones to become visible through the skin, while the skin itself will become a white outline emitting smaller lightning bolts. Following the incident, the person will be largely unharmed, other than being smudged with soot and smoldering slightly. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903/60 "2011-02-11T15:43:42Z")
Cartoon characters can produce any object they happen to need at the time, no matter what size the object is, either out of mid-air, from behind their backs, or from their inside coat pocket. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-youve-learned-from-watching-cartoons/570903.md?page=4)