# Think back to the first person you had sex with. Were the two of you in love? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 21, 2011, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309 "2011-06-21T17:04:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Waldelfe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f08c70/32.png) [@Waldelfe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waldelfe)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/21 "2011-06-21T17:43:48Z")
No. No. No. No. I had a little crush on him when I was 13 or 14 years old but I was over it when we had Sex. It was 12 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/22 "2011-06-21T17:44:10Z")
Yes, yes, maybe, maybe. I’m not really sure how hormone-addled sixteen-year-olds can separate “love” from “lust” from “powerful crush,” but for better or worse, it was genuine “lovemaking” and not just a booty call. Best sex I ever had, btw. That girl could do things with her … :o … that put Mrs. Homie to shame. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/23 "2011-06-21T17:46:19Z")
My answer to the follow up is that it as 30 years ago. It was emotionally nothing, it was a stranger and it was just a way to get rid of something I didn’t want. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/24 "2011-06-21T17:48:02Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > My answer to the follow up is that it as 30 years ago. It was emotionally nothing, it was a stranger and it was just a way to get rid of something I didn’t want. It’s my own fault for not making the follow-up clear, but the reason I asked about the time in between was that I was wondering how the passage of time has changed people’s opinions on the matter. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/25 "2011-06-21T17:48:09Z")
No to all four. I was in love with the fact that I was having sex, though. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/26 "2011-06-21T17:48:59Z")
No on all counts for the initial encounter. I was drunk at a frat party and she was willing. However, she did become my first love. We were together about three years or so, and remain friends to this day. ---
**Author:** ![FrancisCastle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b4bc9f/32.png) [@FrancisCastle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrancisCastle)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/27 "2011-06-21T17:49:48Z")
Yes. Yes. No. No. I think that we definitely cared about each other, but it wasn’t love. ETA: This was about 15 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/28 "2011-06-21T17:50:34Z")
Yes, no, no, hell no. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/29 "2011-06-21T17:52:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Also – and I realize I’m courting a pitting here – I’m only interested in talking about the first time you had sex voluntarily. I should think the reasons are obvious, but I thought I’d make it explicit anyway. Oh. Either I’ve got a memory problem or I’ve blocked all this out on purpose … I’m having a hard time recalling the person I first had sex with voluntarily. How odd. How about the first person I _tried_ to have sex with voluntarily? We were interrupted. No, no, no, and no. I don’t think we were suffering from the delusion that we were “in love”. More like “in lust”. We were 14 and 15 years old. 🙂 Oh yeah, that was 37 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/30 "2011-06-21T17:54:45Z")
No, no, no and no. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/31 "2011-06-21T17:55:53Z")
no, no, no, and no. It was about 15 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/32 "2011-06-21T17:57:33Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Oh. Either I’ve got a memory problem or I’ve blocked all this out on purpose … I’m having a hard time recalling the person I first had sex with voluntarily. How odd. :: mischievous fantasy hat on :: It’s not odd. You asked to be neuralized and your credit was good, so I neuralized you. If you want the memories back you can pay for the privilege, though I think that would be unwise. :: mischievious fantasy hat off :: > [@](#): > > How about the first person I _tried_ to have sex with voluntarily? We were interrupted. Hmm. I hadn’t thought of that. If you ultimately had sex with that person before having sex with someone else, it would clearly count, but from your phrasing I gather you didn’t (or don’t recall doing so). ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/33 "2011-06-21T17:59:17Z")
You trippin’! Well, no, we never did get around to having sex after that … unfortunate happenstance! I’m sitting here thinking now. I will remember it after a while I’m sure. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/34 "2011-06-21T18:00:53Z")
It was about 7 years ago. I picked the guy because I wanted to get sex over with. We worked together and he was a nice enough kid, shy and quiet like me. He was younger than me (I was 19, he was 17) and barely more experienced. He was cute in his own way but I wasn’t that attracted to him, either. We only really ‘dated’ for about 2 months, then he started annoying me and we stopped hanging out/doing anything sexually, and both moved on immediately with no hard feelings. I would say there were no emotions except mutual liking and wanting to get laid, on either side. We still live near each other, and say hi when we run into each other. 1)No. 2)No. The second 2 questions don’t apply since neither of us had feelings. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/35 "2011-06-21T18:02:56Z")
It was about 24 years ago. I did believe that I was in love with him, and still believe it, although I now realize that the relationship could not have worked out well. He did not love me, and we both understood that clearly. He was nice about it. ---
**Author:** ![Gilles\_de\_Rais](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@Gilles\_de\_Rais](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilles_de_Rais)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/36 "2011-06-21T18:07:37Z")
I’m pretty pathetic. I picked a guy to just get through the experience. It was pretty lame and a decade later - at our high school reunion - he asked about it (why I didn’t seem to enjoy it) and it was then he learned it was my first time. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/37 "2011-06-21T18:20:27Z")
> [@Gilles\_de\_Rais](#): > > I’m pretty pathetic. I picked a guy to just get through the experience. It was pretty lame and a decade later - at our high school reunion - he asked about it (why I didn’t seem to enjoy it) and it was then he learned it was my first time. I actually think it works out much, much better for most young people who lose their virginity as a rationally planned experience, rather then when they’re drunk out of their minds/are madly in love with the dude they’re dating as a sophomore, etc. Not that it’s often a particularly pleasurable experience that way, especially for girls, but the drama potential is very low. ---
**Author:** ![moth1416](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/839c29/32.png) [@moth1416](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moth1416)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/38 "2011-06-21T18:21:35Z")
No, and no. It was eleven years ago, I was tired of being a 21 year old virgin and basically threw myself at someone that was showing a vague interest in me. He was several years older, pretended to be experienced (looking back on it later, I realized he wasn’t at all), made me feel bad for not knowing what was going on, and the whole thing was way more embarrassing and painful than it needed to have been. Blech. Not a good memory. But I think I knew at the time it wasn’t a good situation; my valuation of that hasn’t changed since I’ve gotten older/more experienced. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/39 "2011-06-21T18:23:10Z")
Yes, Yes, Yes, and Maybe. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/40 "2011-06-21T18:26:57Z")
No, No. No. No. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309.md?page=3)