# Think back to the first person you had sex with. Were the two of you in love? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 21, 2011, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309 "2011-06-21T17:04:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/61 "2011-06-21T21:14:47Z")
Nope on all counts. We were dating casually, but nowhere near being in love. It was a hell of a good way to pass the time. ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/62 "2011-06-21T21:20:06Z")
[ol] [li]No[/li][li]No[/li][li]N/A[/li][li]N/A[/li][/ol] ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/63 "2011-06-21T21:22:26Z")
1. At the time, did you believe you were in love with that first bedmate? No 2. At the time, did you believe that person was in love with you? No 3. In retrospect, do you still believe you were in love with that first bedmate? No 4. In retrospect, do you still believe that person was in love with you? No It was - oh, good lord, nearly 25 years ago. I was a college freshman who just wanted to get it over with and he was a couple of years older, so I figured he probably knew what he was doing. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/64 "2011-06-21T21:33:53Z")
Voluntary in that after five hours of being plied with alcohol and pressure, I stopped resisting. No to all four questions. I was fifteen and had never met the guy, he worked with my brother and they planned the evening between them, waiting for a night our parents were away. My brother bought the booze and brought the guy home then left. Just a bit of a joke for both of them. They guy went on to use the same method on several other girls in the neighbourhood - all of them fifteen or younger. I don’t know if they had brothers who assisted him. ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/65 "2011-06-21T21:34:46Z")
Yes, yes, I think so, and probably not. Um … twenty-four years ago, I think? (Geez. Am I really old enough that I could have lost my virginity twenty-four years ago without somebody going to jail?) [Remember to check ‘Show your signature’. Remember to check ‘Show your signature’. Remember …] ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/66 "2011-06-21T21:37:53Z")
PMed. ---
**Author:** ![Proudest\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/proudest_monkey/32/13257_2.png) [@Proudest\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Proudest_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/67 "2011-06-21T22:05:00Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > No to all four. > > I was in love with the fact that I was having sex, though. See above. I was in junior high and believed I looked at the world differently (and looked different to the world) once Robert and I muddled through that incredibly lame encounter. I didn’t have decent sex until my 20s and didn’t have excellent sex until my 30s. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/68 "2011-06-21T22:40:32Z")
Yep, we were in love. Still are, near as I can tell, sixteen years later. ---
**Author:** ![CT\_Damsel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CT\_Damsel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CT_Damsel)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/69 "2011-06-21T23:26:21Z")
1. Yes 2. Yes 3. No, I do not think I was mature enough at the time to know what love is. 4. No, I do not think he was mature enough at the time to know what love is. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/70 "2011-06-21T23:32:33Z")
We weren’t in love oh no far from it We weren’t searching for some pie in the sky summit We were just young and restless and bored Living by the sword And we’d steal away every chance we could To the backroom, the alley, the trusty woods I used her she used me But neither one cared We were getting our share Workin’ on our night moves Trying to lose the awkward teenage blues ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/71 "2011-06-21T23:42:28Z")
Yes, hoped so, yes, yes. 36 years ago. Yikes. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/72 "2011-06-22T00:24:54Z")
To all that answered yes, to all 4 questions AND are still with the same person… I am in awe… (And quite frankly, somewhat envious.) With that out of the way. 😃 NO, to all 4 questions. And since no one else has, yet… What’s LOVE, got to do with it?! With apologies to Ms. Tina Turner.😛 ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/73 "2011-06-22T00:26:15Z")
1. At the time, did you believe you were in love with that first bedmate? Yes 2. At the time, did you believe that person was in love with you? Wasn’t sure 3. In retrospect, do you still believe you were in love with that first bedmate? Yes 4. In retrospect, do you still believe that person was in love with you? Still not sure ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/74 "2011-06-22T00:34:56Z")
Yes, yes, yes, yes…we had nothing in common but lust and being nice people - there were compatibility problems. He still numbers among my friends. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/75 "2011-06-22T00:41:15Z")
Yes X4 I was married to him for 10 years. His second wife was too jealous for us to actively remain friends, but we would have if not for her. I hear from him every few years. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/76 "2011-06-22T01:12:23Z")
No X 4. At 18, I just wanted to get it over with. The guy who I lost my virginity to was ten years older that I knew as a customer in the restaurant where I worked. I’ve run into him a couple of times over the years. No illusions for either of us. That was 30 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/77 "2011-06-22T02:15:43Z")
I thought I was in love, and I thought he loved me, but I was 17, so what did I know? I eventually married him, but we split a few years later after I found out he was cheating. That was almost 19 years ago… yikes. ---
**Author:** ![charmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/53a042/32.png) [@charmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/charmstr)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/78 "2011-06-22T02:26:37Z")
No, no, no, no. This happened 38 years ago and all I could tell you about her at this late date was that she had brown hair, pale skin, and large breasts. I don’t usually focus in on breast size, but these were the largest I had seen in my young life and I guess they made an impression on me. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/79 "2011-06-22T02:29:22Z")
I was not in love with her. Pretty sure she was not in love me, but maybe a bit infatuated. She was a couple of years older than I was. This was nearly 30 years ago. Now, the _second time_… ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/80 "2011-06-22T02:37:35Z")
Yes to all, but we have since separated. Seperated? Oh dear. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309.md?page=5)