# Think back to the first person you had sex with. Were the two of you in love? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 21, 2011, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309 "2011-06-21T17:04:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/101 "2011-06-22T22:27:08Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > 1. At the time, did you believe you were in love with that first bedmate? > 2. At the time, did you believe that person was in love with you? > 3. In retrospect, do you still believe you were in love with that first bedmate? > 4. In retrospect, do you still believe that person was in love with you? 1. No 2. No 3. No 4. No Seems tragic when it is starkly there, but the truth is the girl I lost my virginity to had so many notches on her bedposts it was a wonder they hadn’t collapsed. But at the time, she was a Godsend. I was 19, and so colossally clueless and unable to read “signals” from women that, looking back, I had managed to avoid getting laid a dozen times before then. Luckily, this girl was available, aggressive and she wanted me. Once she had me twice, she foisted me off onto one of her friends, who I stupidly married. After we split, I met other girls, including one who taught me exactly what she liked, lessons that my wife benefits from every time we make love (my wife has met that ex, and thanked her). ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/102 "2011-06-23T00:48:23Z")
1. No but I think I believed I \*could \*fall in love with him, and I did deeply care about him. 2. See #1. 3. No. 4. No. ---
**Author:** ![rekkah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee59a6/32.png) [@rekkah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rekkah)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/103 "2011-06-23T00:49:43Z")
1. Yes 2. Yes 3. As much as I was capable of being as a teenager - in some ways more intensely than as an adult, but with not that much insight into my feelings and the relationship. 4. Not sure - I think he at least thought he was initially, but it evaporated pretty quick when a new girl came on the scne only a month or so later. This was all \>10 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/104 "2011-06-23T01:16:29Z")
1. Yes 2. Yes 3. At the time yes but looking back I don’t understand why but of course that is all due to knowledge of… 4. Nope, he dumped me within a week. Scarred my young heart and I didn’t have sex again for at least a year. Lets see, fingers, toes, fingers again - it was about 27 years ago, I was 16. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/105 "2011-06-23T01:24:24Z")
1. Yes 2. Yes 3. Yes 4. Maybe ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/106 "2011-06-23T02:13:14Z")
It was 1975, we were in love, it was the first time for the both of us. We did it again last night, for at least the 4,000th time (WAG, could be a lot more.) I was, and am still in love. Ditto for her, as far as I can tell. And we’ve gotten _much_ better at it. ---
**Author:** ![ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryan)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/107 "2011-06-23T02:20:52Z")
No to all questions. It was all youth and hormones. Nearly 30 yrs later I don’t regret it, but wish I was more emotionally mature than I was. ---
**Author:** ![Dahnlor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dahnlor/32/533_2.png) [@Dahnlor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dahnlor)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/108 "2011-06-23T04:04:27Z")
No to everything. Happened almost 20 years ago. I had only just met her a few hours earlier, and then everyone started drinking. Somehow we ended up in the same bedroom alone together, and stuff happened. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/109 "2011-06-23T05:27:18Z")
Nope to all four. 25 years ago. Ahh, the 80’s before AIDS. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/110 "2011-06-23T05:52:52Z")
No x 4. I was 18 and desperate to lose my virginity and she was… there. She was not at all attractive and I began to feel disgusted with myself even while I was balls-deep. Also it was unprotected and I had pregnancy paranoia for a couple of months afterwards. My second time was much more fulfilling, I took her virginity, and we ended up dating for two and a half years. ETA: 25 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Shakester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shakester/32/437_2.png) [@Shakester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shakester)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/111 "2011-06-23T08:22:06Z")
No x 4. Early 80s. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/112 "2011-06-23T17:18:10Z")
Yes, yes, yes, and yes. And 47 of marriage years later I’m even more convinced. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/113 "2011-06-23T17:25:27Z")
**No** on all counts. As mentioned elsewhere on the Board, my first time was at age 17 in Texas with a Hispanic hooker who bore a more-than-passing resemblance to [Claude Akins](http://compmast.tripod.com/akins/akins.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/114 "2011-06-23T17:47:01Z")
1. Can’t remember. Probably. 2. Can’t remember. Probably. 3. We married, if that counts. 😉 4. We married, if that counts. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![llcoolbj77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb9ed0/32.png) [@llcoolbj77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llcoolbj77)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/115 "2011-06-23T18:07:01Z")
Yes on all four counts. 12 years ago. He was my first love. I was so desparate at 20 to get it over with. The first time was ok, the second was amazing. We dated exclusively for 2 years. To date, he was probably my best lover. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/116 "2011-06-23T19:01:33Z")
No^4. The story’s somewhere in my posting history, but to summarize, it was a bed-sharing arrangement when I had too much beer inside me that led to a totally unexpected 4am shag. She was way older than me and seriously fat, as in no-way-do-you-ever-see-me-naked fat, but I wasn’t getting any other offers and was too socially clueless to know how to say no even if I’d been inclined to. Besides, up to the part where she grabbed my dick I was far from clear where we were going. ETA: nearly 32 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/117 "2011-06-24T00:42:17Z")
Yes, yes, maybe, yes. This was in college, about 23 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/118 "2011-06-24T02:21:40Z")
1. No. 2. No. 3. No. 4. No. The second however: YES YES YES YES! ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/119 "2011-06-24T02:40:33Z")
1. yes 2. yes 3. yes 4. yes with the caveat on the last 2 that it was teenage/high school sweetheart love, neither of us were really mature enough for grown up love yet. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2011, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309/120 "2011-06-25T15:59:07Z")
Yes, yes, yes and yes. We were both virgins the first time, talked about getting married and are still friends to this day. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-back-to-the-first-person-you-had-sex-with-were-the-two-of-you-in-love/586309.md?page=7)