# Think your child is gay. James Dobson can help. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 11, 2005, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571 "2005-08-11T11:30:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/1 "2005-08-11T11:30:33Z")
Check out James Dobson’s tips on finding out if your child is gay. [http://www.focusonyourchild.com/develop/art1/A0000684.html](http://www.focusonyourchild.com/develop/art1/A0000684.html) > [@](#): > > 1. A susceptibility to be bullied by other boys, who may tease them unmercifully and call them “queer,” “fag” and “gay.” Note unmerciful teasing is not the problem only the susceptibility of the victim. Sick. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/2 "2005-08-11T11:37:02Z")
Yeah, basically, if the other kids are calling your kid a faggot, maybe your kid shouldn’t be such a faggot. These people make me sick. > [@](#): > > 1. A strong preference to spend time in the company of girls and participate in their games and other pastimes. Hanging out with girls? That’s so gay. The article is about three years old, and the original newsletter article also contained some suggested remedies. ([As re-posted from my LiveJournal](http://www.livejournal.com/users/thejtrain/)) > [@](#): > > Meanwhile, the boy’s father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son’s maleness. I’m listening… > [@](#): > > He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. Oh, baby… > [@](#): > > He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. Yes, I think it’s important to learn to pitch _and_ catch. > [@](#): > > He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. [Yakko]Good night, everybody![/Yakko] > [@](#): > > He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger. I can’t. I just…can’t. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/3 "2005-08-11T11:48:21Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. A strong feeling that they are “different” from other boys. Well let’s see. I was a little nerdy and liked reading and never liked any of the crap that most other boys enjoyed so I guess a check here. > [@](#): > > 1. A tendency to cry easily, be less athletic, and dislike the roughhousing that other boys enjoy. Well I was a bit of a cryer until about 3rd grade or so. But after that I decided I’d never cry again. So far I’ve pretty much kept that. However I sucked at sports and I think roughhousing is stupid. I guess a check here. > [@](#): > > 1. A persistent preference to play female roles in make-believe play. Well…I did like playing as Chun-Li in Street Fighter II and as females in a few of my games. I wouldn’t call is persistent though. Semi-check? > [@](#): > > 1. A strong preference to spend time in the company of girls and participate in their games and other pastimes. I always was friends with tons of girls and enjoyed playing with them so big check here. > [@](#): > > 1. A susceptibility to be bullied by other boys, who may tease them unmercifully and call them “queer,” “fag” and “gay.” People did call me gay…Until I learned how to get them to back down either through talking looking scary or standing up to them. Semi-Check. > [@](#): > > 1. A tendency to walk, talk, dress and even “think” effeminately. Not even sure what this means… > [@](#): > > 1. A repeatedly stated desire to be — or insistence that he is — a girl. I’ll have to give a no on this one. So what? I’m about 90% gay? That’s surprising considering I like girls and never had any urge to sleep with a guy. I guess those few times I’ve been hit on by gay men I shouldn’t have said “Sorry man it’s not my thing but good luck” It is appearently my thing. No wonder I’m such a miserable bastard. ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/4 "2005-08-11T11:55:36Z")
Ok…now that’s just stupid as hell. Get this (from the site you linked to): _Call to make an appointment with a professional therapist who believes change is possible. Work patiently with that therapist in redirecting your child’s prehomosexual behaviors._ Dear Gawd. Our daughter, who will soon be 18, is lesbian. I, nor my husband, would ever do ANYTHING to hurt her, let alone to try to change her! She’s a wonderful, caring person, she always tries to do ‘the right thing’ in everything she does. She doesn’t use drugs, nicotine or alcohol. Dear Gawd, why the hell would someone want to mess with THAT? Just because someone doesn’t agree with a persons sexual prefrence is NO reason to ‘try to change’ them! After all, we want our children to be HAPPY, right? Yes. We do. I’d much rather have my child in a relationship with someone of the same sex, than to be in a relationship with someone she/he wasn’t happy with, trying to live a life that she/he feels that they don’t fit into! That sort of thing leads to abuse, depression, etc. All I want is for my daughter to be happy, no matter WHO she chooses to sleep with! We treat my daughter’s girlfriend like she’s one of the family. She’s just like another daughter to us. People need to open their minds…and they would see that not everything is solved with something stupid, such as the information on that site! Some folks need to get with the REAL world! ---
**Author:** ![zuma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9c0ed/32.png) [@zuma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zuma)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/5 "2005-08-11T12:30:28Z")
Well, that article was dumb. Who, btw is James Dobson? ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/6 "2005-08-11T12:47:04Z")
A dumb guy. My mom bought me a book of his for Christmas a couple years ago. She was obviously unfamiliar with him and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it pretty much said I was a terrible parent–what with being single and employed. It’s under my chest of drawers now keeping the wobbly leg steady. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/7 "2005-08-11T12:47:39Z")
> [@zuma](#): > > Who, btw is James Dobson? An idiot. Head of something called “Focus on the Family” or some such. He can be summed up as a homophobic right-wing religious extremist who deserves to have his scrotum eaten slowly by thousands of needle-pincered beetles. He’s not quite as bad as Jerry Falwell though. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/8 "2005-08-11T12:55:11Z")
> [@BlackKnight](#): > > An idiot. > > Head of something called “Focus on the Family” or some such. He can be summed up as a homophobic right-wing religious extremist who deserves to have his scrotum eaten slowly by thousands of needle-pincered beetles. > > He’s not quite as bad as Jerry Falwell though. and what does Falwell deserve then? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/9 "2005-08-11T12:56:40Z")
> [@Darkhold](#): > > and what does Falwell deserve then? To lick the beetles off of Dobson. ---
**Author:** ![rorty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@rorty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rorty)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/10 "2005-08-11T13:01:12Z")
That website is one of the most disgusting things I’ve seen in a while. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/11 "2005-08-11T13:05:59Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. A persistent preference to play female roles in make-believe play. I used to make believe I was Willie McCovey. Does that make me a closet left-hander? ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/12 "2005-08-11T13:22:09Z")
> [@BlackKnight](#): > > He’s not quite as bad as Jerry Falwell though. Gotta disagree with you there. Dobson is way worse then Falwell because he has Focus on the Family, and actually has WAY more influence and is taken WAY more seriously then Falwell. At this point, Falwell is almost a caricture of himself. Not so with Dobson. The OP reminds me of a self-help book for teens with a right-wing religious bent my dad gave me when I was a teen. It had a long Q&A section, and one of the questions was something along the lines of “I think I might be gay … ?”. The answer was, basically “Homosexuals are severely disturbed people, so don’t worry because you’re probably not.” Bigots. Gotta love 'em (in the most abstract possible sense of the word). ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/13 "2005-08-11T13:25:30Z")
I know a serious comment or question is out of bounds with this sort of idiocy, but I just can’t help it. (1) Why is this guy, if being gay is such a tragedy, concerned only with the potential gayness of **boys** , and especially only those 7 and younger? (2) How the Hell did this corkscrew Nicolosi ever get hold of “60 effeminate boys, ages 6 - 11?” I would _love_ to have overheard the conversation as he was placing the ad in the local paper: “Goddamn it, I_told_ you I’m a scientist and I _said_ I’ll pay in cash the day before the ad runs!” (3) Was Dobson himself always the bully he pretends to be now or once a victim of bullies, whose shame is now leading him to unspeakable acts of atonement? Each of these questions has an answer, but the wisdom those answers would provide has already been granted to the enlightened. Everyone should get better than they deserve (I fervently and hopefully believe), so let us say Dobson should be granted both the insight into how his worldview was ejaculated directly into his head out of a Mephistopheles’ diseased dick, and life enough left to perform real and symbolic acts of contrition that help more human beings than he has so far harmed. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/14 "2005-08-11T13:33:22Z")
I’m really enjoying that site. It comes so close to being rational, and then completely messes it up. For instance, on the “Homosexual Campaign Against Children” section (leaving aside the title of the page as a negative)" > [@](#): > > Most homosexuals are not pedophiles. OK, so far, so good (relatively speaking). > [@](#): > > But there is a vigorous homosexual-led campaign now under way to end the taboo. D’oh! > [@](#): > > Why have pro-homosexual organizations worked so hard to lower the age of consent in country after country? There can be only one answer. :eek: And on the “What We Know About Homosexuality”: > [@](#): > > Homosexuality is rarely “chosen.” It’s unfair to tell a homosexual individual that he or she chose that lifestyle to pursue sexual excitement or some other motive. After all, Dr. Dobson says, “who among us would knowingly choose a path that would result in alienation from family, rejection from friends, disdain from the heterosexual world, exposure to sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS and tuberculosis, and even a shorter lifespan?” Good, good. > [@](#): > > No evidence indicates that homosexuality is inherited. This is true despite the beliefs of 35 percent of America adults, who heard or read highly publicized mainstream media claims to the contrary, especially in the early 1990s. Dr. Dobson notes, “There are no respected geneticists in the world today who claim to have found a so-called ‘gay gene’ or other indicators of genetic transmission.” Don’t know if it’s true or not, but I haven’t head of any “gay genes,” so fair enough, I suppose. > [@](#): > > Homosexuality is a disorder, despite persistent claims to the contrary over the past three decades. D’oh! ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/15 "2005-08-11T13:34:00Z")
> [@belladonna](#): > > A dumb guy. > My mom bought me a book of his for Christmas a couple years ago. She was obviously unfamiliar with him and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it pretty much said I was a terrible parent–what with being single and employed. It’s under my chest of drawers now keeping the wobbly leg steady. My Aunt got me one when I was 17, about christian dating and relationships. Looking back from 26, it’s really kinda scary to see that at the time I thought he was giving sound if preachy advice. Thank god for college and open-minded, intelligent friends (and getting lucky and meeting some quality people my first day in the dorms.) ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/16 "2005-08-11T14:06:18Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > (and getting lucky and meeting some quality people my first day in the dorms.) You got “lucky” the _first day_!? Wow. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/17 "2005-08-11T14:11:18Z")
I love this statement: > [@](#): > > Psychologist Robert Stoller said, “Masculinity is an achievement.” In other words, “ **growing up straight isn’t something that happens**. It requires good parenting. It requires societal support. And it takes time.” And: > [@](#): > > Our oldest daughter, Lisa, is starting junior high soon. She’s a hopeless tomboy. If she had her way, she’d never wear skirts or dresses. She can’t wait to sign up for the school wrestling team this fall. If I say no, she’ll throw a fit. Where’s the magic wand so I can turn her into a lovely princess?” You know, until now, I never realized how lucky I am. My parents sorely neglected my female-gender-role programming. How can I ever forgive them for letting me come so perilously close to gayness? I played with trucks and toy soldiers. I went skeet shooting with my grandpa. I never learned to cook or play house. I hated dresses, and when I had to wear them, I wore shorts under them so I could play on the monkey bars! It’s a goddam miracle I’m not gay! My goodness! How close I must have come! ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/18 "2005-08-11T15:19:48Z")
> [@Darkhold](#): > > I guess those few times I’ve been hit on by gay men I shouldn’t have said “Sorry man it’s not my thing but good luck” It is appearently my thing. No wonder I’m such a miserable bastard. That’s actually a double check so you’re like 105% gay. Proper response is to beat them, tie them to a fence, and leave them to die. Duh. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/19 "2005-08-11T15:25:08Z")
> [@nonacetone](#): > > Ok…now that’s just stupid as hell. Get this (from the site you linked to): > > _Call to make an appointment with a professional therapist who believes change is possible. Work patiently with that therapist in redirecting your child’s prehomosexual behaviors._ > > Dear Gawd. > Our daughter, who will soon be 18, is lesbian. I, nor my husband, would ever do ANYTHING to hurt her, let alone to try to change her! She’s a wonderful, caring person, she always tries to do ‘the right thing’ in everything she does. She doesn’t use drugs, nicotine or alcohol. Dear Gawd, why the hell would someone want to mess with THAT? Just because someone doesn’t agree with a persons sexual prefrence is NO reason to ‘try to change’ them! > > After all, we want our children to be HAPPY, right? Yes. We do. I’d much rather have my child in a relationship with someone of the same sex, than to be in a relationship with someone she/he wasn’t happy with, trying to live a life that she/he feels that they don’t fit into! That sort of thing leads to abuse, depression, etc. > > All I want is for my daughter to be happy, no matter WHO she chooses to sleep with! We treat my daughter’s girlfriend like she’s one of the family. She’s just like another daughter to us. > > People need to open their minds…and they would see that not everything is solved with something stupid, such as the information on that site! > > Some folks need to get with the REAL world! Since this is not GD, I shall put my witnessing in a spoiler box. . . . . . . The story of Balaam teaches us something wonderful, that the Lord can speak through an ass. I was just another ass a few minutes ago. In a little while, I’ll be just another ass again. But, here and now, I get to be the vessel through which G-d speaks. What **Nonacetone** and her husband have done, _that_ is His will. . Children are commanded to honor their mother and father. But that same commandment means that parents must honor their children. They are not flawed, or diseased. They are as He made them. ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571/20 "2005-08-11T15:36:05Z")
> [@nonacetone](#): > > All I want is for my daughter to be happy, no matter WHO she chooses to sleep with! We treat my daughter’s girlfriend like she’s one of the family. She’s just like another daughter to us. Would y’all like to adopt a 25-year-old? 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/think-your-child-is-gay-james-dobson-can-help/316571.md?page=2)