# Thinking About Leaving **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 27, 2004, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169 "2004-07-27T22:21:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/301 "2004-07-29T21:44:04Z")
> [@Demo](#): > > Is anyone else noticing the sexual tension between **The Mermaid** and **The\_Llama**? Man, get a room already you guys! Please. I do all my stalking on LJ where the men are men and the boys follow girls around all day correcting their grammar. Not my cup of tea. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/302 "2004-07-29T22:22:58Z")
> [@katiekilldare](#): > > That’s not a fat joke. It’s a nipple joke. > > PS. Your mama so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck. Your mama so fat she had to stop wearing her **X** jacket cause helicopters kept trying to land on it. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/303 "2004-07-30T00:20:11Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > That’s _exactly_ what people in a community do. A couple weeks ago, one of my friends called to tell me he’s thinking of moving to Arizona. As much as he loves California, he’s having trouble finding work here, the rental market is insanely high, he’s got a kid now, and wants to make sure he can put him into a good school in a few years, etc. etc. Should he not have done that? Was that “bizarre?” That’s a little different than what Lobsang did, Miller. This was your friend, and he wasn’t hinting around for you to stroke his ego and beg him to stay - he was asking if you thought it was a good move leaving California because of work issues and family obligations. Lobsang’s thread and this example are nothing alike. By the way - what did your friend decide? If he wants to pick the brains of someone in Arizona (Phoenix, to be exact) - send him my way, I’d be happy to help out. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/304 "2004-07-30T01:20:45Z")
> [@Mauvaise](#): > > That’s a little different than what Lobsang did, Miller. This was your friend, and he wasn’t hinting around for you to stroke his ego and beg him to stay - he was asking if you thought it was a good move leaving California because of work issues and family obligations. Lobsang’s thread and this example are nothing alike. > > By the way - what did your friend decide? If he wants to pick the brains of someone in Arizona (Phoenix, to be exact) - send him my way, I’d be happy to help out. Go back and re-read the exchange between **Lobsang** , **Liberal** , and myself. Both **Lib** ’s and my own analogies were predicated on the idea that **Lobsang** posted that thread because he was genuinely thinking of leaving, and not just to get attention. And if **Lobsang** ’s secret intention was to get his ego stroked… the analogy still holds pretty well. You don’t know my friend: he’s the original Attention Whore. No doubt at all that when he called me to tell me he was moving, he was hoping for a little ego stroking in the process. Great guy, though. Arizona is lucky to have him. ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/305 "2004-07-30T01:45:19Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Both **Lib** ’s and my own analogies were predicated on the idea that **Lobsang** posted that thread because he was genuinely thinking of leaving, and not just to get attention. I don’t know if that’s the wisest assumption, Miller. The “I’m leaving…” threads are most definitely passive-aggressive cries for attention, whether intentional or not. This is not the only MB I’ve ever participated in, and every one of them had their share of the “I’m leaving…” melodrama. I would advise anybody participating in any online community _not_ to post an “I’m leaving…” thread. It is universally recognized as a ploy to garner attention. Even assuming someone is unaware of this, and truly is posting a heartfelt “I’m leaving…” post, if they stopped to look inside themself and come up with a brutally honest motivation for _why_ they made such a post, the real answer would be an ugly one. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/306 "2004-07-30T02:03:46Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Go back and re-read the exchange between **Lobsang** , **Liberal** , and myself. Both **Lib** ’s and my own analogies were predicated on the idea that **Lobsang** posted that thread because he was genuinely thinking of leaving, and not just to get attention. Then I completely misunderstood Lib’s point because I honestly thought he based his analogy on the idea that Lobsang posted his thread as a way to manipulate people into feeding his ego, not because he was sincere in wanting to leave. In which case the way you explained your friend’s call (the first time, not in your last post) didn’t quite seem similar. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Llama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a698b9/32.png) [@The\_Llama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Llama)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/307 "2004-07-30T02:07:51Z")
I’m actually a college drop out, but I disagree with your reasons for saying my corrections are wrong. I had to look up what “Gaudere’s Law” was, and while I think I have the gist, I still don’t know what the details behind it are. Anyway, yes, the one point that I was trying to make was the one you finally realized. It was your redirection that kept it from being dealt with in the first place. No amount of credential listing or shouting me down is going to make me believe that you got it in the first place, even if you are a Certified Genius. Again, I hate the whole correction of grammar thing. But you have to admit, your post could have been read a different way… Now, unfortunately, I have to stop flirting, or I’ll be in trouble. I hope you didn’t already reserve the room. Hey Liberal, you mind if I insult you for a bit so as to get people to agree with me and make me feel better? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/308 "2004-07-30T02:40:08Z")
> [@Mauvaise](#): > > Then I completely misunderstood Lib’s point because I honestly thought he based his analogy on the idea that Lobsang posted his thread as a way to manipulate people into feeding his ego, not because he was sincere in wanting to leave. In which case the way you explained your friend’s call (the first time, not in your last post) didn’t quite seem similar. His analogy was offered to refute **Lobsang** ’s explanation that his thread was completely earnest and up front, with no “pity me” subtext. My analogy was offered to show that his explanation did, indeed, make sense in a real life context. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/309 "2004-07-30T04:51:58Z")
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! Are we STILL arguing about this? Here’s a fucking clue. Neither one of the parties is gonna back down, so please, for fuck’s sake, agree to disagree? **Miller** , you are not in **Lobsang** ’s head. Nobody but **Lobsang** is. Whatever his INTENTIONS were is irrelevant. He could have had a damned spasm and magically hit the right keys to post that thread, completely unconsciously, and it would still have been the thousanth or so thread like that, with about 9,998 OP’s not leaving after it is said and done. The mere existance of that thread, no matter who began it, for whatever reason, is annoying. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/310 "2004-07-30T04:53:29Z")
or 998. It’s late. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/311 "2004-07-30T05:44:27Z")
> [@UncleBill](#): > > or 998. > > It’s late. I clicked onto this thread for this? I waded through all those pages for a whimper like _this_? Way to ruin a good flame, **UncleBill**! You can suck my [cock](http://community.webshots.com/photo/63107879/63109354bkXkEs). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Llama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a698b9/32.png) [@The\_Llama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Llama)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/312 "2004-07-30T06:21:35Z")
That’s a nice one, **ETF**. Makes you want to choke the ole chicken. ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/313 "2004-07-30T06:33:37Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > I clicked onto this thread for this? I waded through all those pages for a whimper like _this_? Way to ruin a good flame, **UncleBill**! You can suck my [cock](http://community.webshots.com/photo/63107879/63109354bkXkEs). I don’t think that posting pictures of a large, angy, red cock are appropriate on this family-friendly BBS. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/314 "2004-07-30T06:34:09Z")
Jeez, what an odd thread. Zombie posters from the abyss show up, Miller goes a little crazy, and Liberal scares the shit out of me. Weird. Good to see you guys around occasionally though. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/315 "2004-07-30T07:30:25Z")
Wait, have we just had some sort of weird internal LJ vs. SDMB board skirmish? Odd thread. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/316 "2004-07-30T10:11:34Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > And, seriously, what ever happened to giving people the benefit of the doubt? Maybe Lobsang was being disingenuous. Maybe he was being completely on the level. Why jump to the least flattering interpretation possible? Especially when, as Demo admited, he had no idea who Lobsang was or what his posting history was like? I just took it on face value. No jumping. The OP said he was thinking of leaving because he didn’t fit in and we were all too smart. If we were all too mean, I could understand that. If we were all too conceited, I could see why he’d want to leave. But on Cecil Adams’ message board, complaining that people are too smart is, like I said, just bizarre. What’s the point? It’s like attending a lecture on quantum physics at Cal Tech and standing up in the middle of it to announce that you’re thinking of leaving the room because you can’t follow any of it. It’s like, who cares? If you have a question about something you don’t understand, then ask it. But if your choice is to remain ignorant, then don’t burden everybody else with it. People here have blasted people for political views, religious views, and opinions on fashion and cinema. But I have yet to see anyone pitted because they asked a question in a quest to learn something new. ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/317 "2004-07-30T10:36:25Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Zombie posters from the abyss Grab the camera, kids – the SDMB’s makin’ a movie! ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/318 "2004-07-30T11:10:12Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > I clicked onto this thread for this? I waded through all those pages for a whimper like _this_? Way to ruin a good flame, **UncleBill**! You can suck my [cock](http://community.webshots.com/photo/63107879/63109354bkXkEs). Ok this is beyond the pale. Roger the roster? Bestiality? You people are sick! ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/319 "2004-07-30T15:40:43Z")
Not fitting in because others are ‘too smart’ is valid because I like to provide my input in GQ and other places but always knew my input would be vastly inferior to the other replies in quality of knowledge. That therefore is why I felt like I am of no real use here and should think about leaving. And telling people is not bizarre because as others have said people who recognise me would wonder where I am (I’ll take that persons word for it 🙂 ) **Liberal** you seemed to have interpreted it very differently. As If I don’t want to be around smart people. That would seem weird but it was not the case, It is simply that I wanted to join in with helping people but felt useless because there were better people than me to do it. And also the same applies to wit. I like to be witty but would feel unfunny compared to the superior wit of most other dopers. I percieved myself as an annoying childish person that really should shut my trap and leave. but people told me they liked my posts and so I felt encouraged and that it would be worthwhile to stay ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169/320 "2004-07-30T16:33:05Z")
> [@The\_Llama](#): > > Anyway, yes, the one point that I was trying to make was the one you finally realized. It was your redirection that kept it from being dealt with in the first place. No amount of credential listing or shouting me down is going to make me believe that you got it in the first place, even if you are a Certified Genius. :rolleyes: So this is how you want to act. I say _was not_ and you say _was too_? How fucking thick can you be? You have no argument. I didn’t “finally realize” anything. One only has to search for posts you’ve started to see that you are only here for the fight. You know, Lynn shut down your last “let’s start an insult thread” because it is not allowed to insult people purely for the sake of getting to use your best insults. You are acting like a horse’s ass and your motives are baffling. Either you are Sol Grundy’s fan, admirer, lover,garment or you are the anonymous poster whose _apology_ I accepted in the spirit it was offered yesterday or the biggest defender of proper spelling, grammar and punctuation the world has ever seen. If not that, then the only conclusion I can draw is that you are mentally unstable. Why is it so important to you whether I got his joke or not. How could any of this have anything to do with you? Mistakes in grammar, coding or punctuation do not warrant this kind of stalking. Now you can come back and say _was too_ until you are blue in the face but if you really feel you have a legitimate gripe start YOUR OWN FUCKING THREAD. Could it be you are only here because Demo is a popular poster and you feel more people will read what you’ve written? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-about-leaving/257169.md?page=17)