# Thinking Out Loud™ **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 7, 2008, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628 "2008-11-07T13:51:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/1 "2008-11-07T13:51:33Z")
Thinking Out Loud: Why do they put babies on toilet paper packaging? You never see a baby wiping their ass. What are you Thinking Out Loud™? ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/2 "2008-11-07T14:10:11Z")
I’m expressing surprise that special characters are now allowed in titles. ---
**Author:** ![Borborygmi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/borborygmi/32/217_2.png) [@Borborygmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borborygmi)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/3 "2008-11-07T14:11:20Z")
I am thinking the ™ character is special… but not really all _that_ special. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/4 "2008-11-07T14:12:40Z")
Excuse me while I whip this out: ® ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/5 "2008-11-07T14:51:01Z")
The TP is soft as a baby’s bottom? And will keep your bottom unmangled like theirs? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/6 "2008-11-07T15:11:51Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > The TP is soft as a baby’s bottom? And will keep your bottom unmangled like theirs? I’m thinking anyone who thinks of a baby’s bottom as unmangled hasn’t seen a good diaper rash recently. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/7 "2008-11-07T15:13:36Z")
Unmangled? Who has a bottom that’s mangled? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/8 "2008-11-07T15:20:11Z")
Mangled Bottom … BAND NAME. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/9 "2008-11-07T16:12:45Z")
Oh no, I get it… it’s just, can’t we come up with a better marketing metaphor than a creepy, angelic baby on every damn TP package? What a nice thing to associate with wiping my ass. If you have to relate ‘soft’, why not clouds, or cotton, or a bunny? Although, If I saw some TP with chainsaws, barbed wire and fire on it, I’d totally buy that out of respect. And, yeh… **WhyNot’s** on to something. Baby crap is something special. Maybe it’s their lack of fiber, I don’t know, but when I changed my own kids diapers, I went through 14 wet wipes every time. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/10 "2008-11-07T16:15:56Z")
I’m pretty sure it’s because it’s socially acceptable to show naked baby butts. Same reason the other brand has those creepy bears. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/11 "2008-11-07T16:17:46Z")
> [@Rasa](#): > > I’m pretty sure it’s because it’s socially acceptable to show naked baby butts. Same reason the other brand has those creepy bears. OMG…those bears are so creepy. We buy the brand with the golden retriever puppy on it. No idea what brand it is, but I like puppies, so I buy the brand with puppies…it’s as good a reason as any to pick one tp over another. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/12 "2008-11-07T16:24:16Z")
Those bears are freaks. I don’t buy the bears. Maybe I _would_ like to wipe my ass with a puppy. So long as it’s white, so you can tell when you’re done. Maybe a [Bichon Frise,](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/98/Bichon_Frise_red_background.jpg/400px-Bichon_Frise_red_background.jpg) or a [Toy Poodle,](http://secure.terrificpets.com/images/uploads/43202004171214613.jpg) or something. I’m thinking you gotta go French. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/13 "2008-11-07T16:31:06Z")
Why do the makers of chewing gum think that advertising their gum as being good enough that people will send attack rams in to butt us in the stomach and make us spit the gum out so they can pick up our half-chewed gum and race away in their van makes us want to buy their gum? This makes less sense than the jeans ads that made us think their pants were so good that our psycho ex-SOs would hunt us down so they could steal them and wear them themselves. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/14 "2008-11-07T16:33:05Z")
> [@hocow](#): > > Unmangled? Who has a bottom that’s mangled? :dubious: Someone who used that tan sandpaper toilet paper from hell in a public bathroom. Or Scott tissue. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/15 "2008-11-07T16:38:31Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Why do the makers of chewing gum think that advertising their gum as being good enough that people will send attack rams in to butt us in the stomach and make us spit the gum out so they can pick up our half-chewed gum and race away in their van makes us want to buy their gum? This makes less sense than the jeans ads that made us think their pants were so good that our psycho ex-SOs would hunt us down so they could steal them and wear them themselves. I haven’t seen the gum one, but it sounds lame. And the Levi’s one was lame too. Is clever marketing really that hard. I’m usually a sucker for self-depreciating/creepy marketing. I admit to loving the Skittles™, Burger King™, and Altoids™ stuff. ™ ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/16 "2008-11-07T16:42:17Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Those bears are freaks. I don’t buy the bears. > > Maybe I _would_ like to wipe my ass with a puppy. So long as it’s white, so you can tell when you’re done. I think that [Snuggle Bear](http://johnlarroquetteproject.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/snuggle.jpg) would make a good ass wiper. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/17 "2008-11-07T16:44:23Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > I think that [Snuggle Bear](http://johnlarroquetteproject.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/snuggle.jpg) would make a good ass wiper. Oh, hell yeh! Can I get a package of 50? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/18 "2008-11-07T16:49:26Z")
[…ummm…](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OQtZIbnRUU) Now I _really_ wanna wipe my ass on that bear. WTF? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/19 "2008-11-07T16:55:04Z")
Ahh, [THIS](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNGp_mG9504) is what I was looking for. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628/20 "2008-11-07T16:57:16Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Why do the makers of chewing gum think that advertising their gum as being good enough that people will send attack rams in to butt us in the stomach and make us spit the gum out so they can pick up our half-chewed gum and race away in their van makes us want to buy their gum? I like that one, if only for the incongruity of a ram in the city. Their gum is so long-lasting they are going out of business, so they are trying to get you to spit it out and take a new piece. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thinking-out-loud/471628.md?page=2)