# This commercial gives me an aneurysm. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 28, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704 "2003-04-28T16:28:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/21 "2003-04-29T05:53:13Z")
I think the worst commercials are for prescription drugs. This is because when they’re first hypiing the drug, you don’t know what the friggin hell they are trying to sell you (Zyrtec and Allegra were like this…hell I still don’t know what Zyrtec does…Penis enlargement?) Then when they do talk about what the drug relieves they save all the horrible side effects for last. Side effects include drymouth, bleeding gums, liver problems, SOME sexual side effects, cramps, bloating, menstrual pain, uterine hemmoraging…It says my uterus is supposed to cramp when I take this…what if I don’t HAVE a uterus?! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/22 "2003-04-29T06:12:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Incubus \* > \*\*Side effects include drymouth, bleeding gums, liver problems, SOME sexual side effects, cramps, bloating, menstrual pain, uterine hemmoraging…It says my uterus is supposed to cramp when I take this…what if I don’t HAVE a uterus?! :eek: \*\* That’s another one of the side effects, if you don’t have a uterus when you _start_ taking the drug, you’ll soon grow one! 😉 One that drove me nuts was the one for Propecia, which was supposed to help men regrow their hair. The commercial mentioned that women who had any hopes of becoming pregnant (such a possessing a uterus) should only handle the tablets if they were encased in lead. Men, however, in addition to having their hair grow back, could expect “a certain sexual side effect.” WTF??? _What’s the side effect???_ If suddenly sprouting hair all over my head enables me to finally land the super model of my dreams, _what good is it going to do me if my dink don’t work?_ ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/23 "2003-04-29T11:48:40Z")
> [@](#): > > HE: “I think she likes me.” > SHE: “Of course she does!” > HE: “You wish!” What the…? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/24 "2003-04-29T12:30:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Incubus \* > \*\*I think the worst commercials are for prescription drugs. \*\* And they often include the line “Ask your doctor about [drug du jour]!” I can just see myself at my next doctor visit. She comes in harried and somewhat behind schedule. We talk about what ails me. Then, as she’s about to head out to the next patient, I hit her with “Doc, what about [Ambien/Zyrtec/_the little purple pill_/Vioxx/latest herbal remedy] - what can it do for me?” Should I expect her to roll her eyes, shudder and sob uncontrollably, or run screaming across the parking lot, declaring she prefers a career in fast food to dealing with patients who watch too much TV… ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/25 "2003-04-29T13:12:19Z")
There’s a growing trend in commercials to sell along the lines of, “You are a moron. If you buy our product, you will be seen as not a moron.” Pay particular attention around Mothers Day. They’re aimed primarily at guys, especially new or expecting dads. ---
**Author:** ![Faerie\_Nuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/76d3ee/32.png) [@Faerie\_Nuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faerie_Nuff)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/26 "2003-04-29T15:08:38Z")
Steve Martin has a great bit that I think is called Side Effects. It’s this crazy long list of side effects for an unmentioned drug. Things like “May cause stigmata in Mexicans” and “May, no _will_ cause impotency during intercourse. Otherwise, a powerful erection will accompany your daily ‘walking around time’”. And those anti-drug/drugs support terrorism ads just make me say, “This is why you should buy American!” Also, if buying stuff from Columbia supports terrorism, should we stop drinking coffee? I mean, drugs are often smuggled in great big crates of coffee, so obviously coffee must also support terrorism. I’ll help kill that “zoom, zoom” kid if someone will back me up on hunting down the Dell interns. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/27 "2003-04-29T15:43:34Z")
How about lawyer commercials? “If you were ever in an accident, ever, ever ever, someone owes you a FAT WAD OF CASH! Call me today!” Morris Bart was the biggest offender when I lived down in New Orleans. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/28 "2003-04-29T15:45:05Z")
The ad for…what was it, Propecia?..a baldness remedy list “certain sexual side-effects” in its list of cautions. But doesn’t (presumably negative) “sexual side-effects” more or less negate the entire purpose of taking a baldness remedy? ---
**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/29 "2003-04-29T15:58:00Z")
Around the beltway, there’s this one ad that always runs on ESPN and CNN and TNT, for “The Mortgage Store, USA.” Are this woman’s arms glued to her waist? MOVE THE DURN THNGS! ---
**Author:** ![puddleglum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puddleglum/32/137_2.png) [@puddleglum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puddleglum)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/30 "2003-04-29T16:13:23Z")
The deodorant commercial that features the guy fooling the temperature reading floor by putting deodorant on his bare feet. That is not the way deodorant works! It doesn’t cause your skin to be the same temperature as the room your in. If you don’t know what your products does why should I buy it? ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/31 "2003-04-29T16:59:15Z")
Some commercials (especially those featuring “YOUR HOST BILLY MAYS”) are so freakin’ annoying that it would be totally effective if there was some way that the makers of the commercial could guarantee that if you buy their product, you can somehow block your TV from receiving said commercial. If this were the case, I would own oodles of stuff I never use, just so I don’t have to watch annoying commercials so much!! Recently, there’s been a local radio ad for a law office. Obviously recorded by the lawyer himself. He speaks in a monotone, just a couple of degrees above a whisper, and the commercial is, no shit, 3 freakin’ minutes long! (Including him giving a local phone number twice, and not one, but TWO toll-free numbers). Every time I hear this ad, I think, “I’m gonna need a lawyer. To defend me when I off this guy!” ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/32 "2003-04-29T17:10:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Faerie Nuff \* > \*\*I’ll help kill that “zoom, zoom” kid if someone will back me up on hunting down the Dell interns. \*\* I’m with you on that, as long as we can make a quick detour and take out the lady from the Michelina commercial. “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Michelina!” I want to hit her so hard. ---
**Author:** ![toadspittle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c0e974/32.png) [@toadspittle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toadspittle)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/33 "2003-04-29T18:16:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GMRyujin \* > \*\*The drug ads. Which drug ads? Any of them! > > Parodied to hysterical perfection [here](http://www.osteobiflex.com/pages/what_adv_comm_q.aspx) \*\* Parodied? Look again–that’s a real ad! ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/34 "2003-04-29T18:37:28Z")
I still hate the JC Penney “Where is your mother?” ad campaign. Who does that work for? Who thinks it’s funny? What’s the target demographic? Because I am so clearly not it - I can’t even figure out who they’re trying to sell to. It’s horribly insulting to both men and women, it’s sexist, it’s stupid, and it makes me never, ever, ever want to spend any money there ever again. Horrible, horrible idea. Poorly executed. ---
**Author:** ![HoviBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@HoviBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoviBaby)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/35 "2003-04-29T19:07:24Z")
There was a commercial that I saw about a year or so ago, and it was the absolute funniest thing I have ever seen. It was the stereotypical drug commercial, with a woman in a sundress running thru a field of daisies with her shawl trailing in the breeze behind her. She’s happy an laughing, and the voice-over guy is going on and on about the benifits of this particular drug. Then the voice over switches it’s tone and starts talking about the side effects: “Side effects include: naseua, headaches, explosive diahreha, profuse vomitting, children being born with the head of a Golden Retriever, hot-dog finger…” etc.etc. I can’t remember any more of them because I was laughing so damn hard. It was a fake commercial for something else, and was easily the best commercial I have ever seen. Isn’t that what this thread was about?? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/36 "2003-04-29T19:32:28Z")
I saw a commercial just last week for some stuff that relieves Herpes symptoms. The guy is riding down the backroads with his girlfriend on the back of his motorcycle. Then they are frolicking in a meadow while the voiceover talks about how it may relieve symptoms, but partners can still catch the disease even though the person is asymptomatic. Nice. And I really feel sorry for the actors in the commercial. Can you imagine being recognized in the local singles bar for your work: “Really, I was just _acting_… I don’t have herpes, I swear!” ---
**Author:** ![Airblairxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Airblairxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airblairxxx)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/37 "2003-04-29T20:06:33Z")
Billy Mays should have his lips superglued together. Who is he and why is he yelling at me? But the commercials I hate are for Verizon, with the tagline apparently being “Can you hear me now?” Why would I buy a product whose tagline serves to remind me how crappy the technology can be? ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/38 "2003-04-29T21:28:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ShibbOleth \* > \*\*I saw a commercial just last week for some stuff that relieves Herpes symptoms. The guy is riding down the backroads with his girlfriend on the back of his motorcycle. Then they are frolicking in a meadow while the voiceover talks about how it may relieve symptoms, but partners can still catch the disease even though the person is asymptomatic. Nice. And I really feel sorry for the actors in the commercial. Can you imagine being recognized in the local singles bar for your work: “Really, I was just _acting_… I don’t have herpes, I swear!” \*\* This actually happened in an episode of _Friends_ … Did I just ruin my cool indie credibility? It was only on on my lunch break, I swear! Ahh, crap. ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Norse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/big_norse/32/9954_2.png) [@Big\_Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Norse)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/39 "2003-04-29T21:47:38Z")
How about the one for plastic bags (for veggies, I think) with a shrill voiced pitchwoman yelling at an equally shrill voiced redhaired comedienne? I’m surprised that noises that high pitched aren’t sending dogs into panic, I know it gives me a blinding headache! ---
**Author:** ![optionsguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ad7895/32.png) [@optionsguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/optionsguy)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704/40 "2003-04-29T22:06:46Z")
Miss Utility commercials are disturbing. “It’s the law!” These are for the public utilities to come out and flag the ground if you want to dig a hole as to not hit any power lines. Other than that I really hate most local cable company commercials that are obviously low budget. Car Dealerships, Tattoo parlors, etc. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-commercial-gives-me-an-aneurysm/171704.md?page=3)