# This damn civilization thing is too complicated! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 15, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856 "2009-06-15T17:44:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2009, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/81 "2009-06-18T14:31:43Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > Ah, but what if they were Japanese _ **and** _ Swedish? Still no. > [@](#): > > Music with rocks in! Wait, there’s magic involved? That’s gonna change a lot. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/82 "2009-06-18T16:31:06Z")
> [@Mikkel](#): > > Could you make a cup from wood and leather? It may not be very comfortable to walk with but at least better than _sand_ :eek:. > Another possibility is rags from woven or felted wool or if you go naked I suppose you could just wash. How about [Cherokee Hair Tampons](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherokee_Hair_Tampons)? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2009, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/83 "2009-06-18T16:39:31Z")
> [@JeffB](#): > > Cherokee Hair Tampons Would go see, but only if Japanese. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/84 "2009-06-19T03:21:49Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > 😕 With all its real-flesh whores and ladyboys, what need has **Thailand** for pornography?! > [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Thats crazy talk! Where do you think pornography comes from? 😃 I was thinking more along the lines of live-action pornography. All you need is some lighting and some music. I was thinking of this at the live nude lesbian show last night (Thursday night) in Sheba’s Bar, where I was sitting about 2 feet in front of five artistically interlinked girls. ---
**Author:** ![Hadrian\_s\_Wall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/58956e/32.png) [@Hadrian\_s\_Wall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hadrian_s_Wall)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/85 "2009-06-19T13:46:23Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > Save it to take care of the assfuckers. Welcome to boot heels of Missouri! Where the Men are men, and the sheep are nervous. ---
**Author:** ![Garnasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d07c76/32.png) [@Garnasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garnasha)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/86 "2009-06-19T19:39:30Z")
I thought sheep were nervous in australia and/or new zealand? Oh, and moss is a great idea, iirc it absorbs 20 times its own weight in water. Also, leather, wool, fabrics of any kind are all products of some form of civilization. afaik hunter gatherers were/are naked or wear pelts, which I imagine is warm but not very comfortable. I don’t know about you guys, but if an assfucker comes after me, my money would be on a fistful of nettles pushed into their genitals. If that doesn’t work, I hit them with a thistle coated in the sap of a hemlock(death in minutes once it gets in a wound or on a mucous membrane, I know there’s better poisons out there but those are plants I actually know how to find). But seriously, the only way to end civilization is to fire all american nukes at once at places all over the world and stab yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/87 "2009-06-19T19:42:12Z")
Sheep are nervous everywhere there are Real Men. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2009, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/88 "2009-06-20T01:36:43Z")
And that’s why the Scots wear kilts. It makes it easier to sneak up on sheep, as they’d hear the zippers otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2009, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/89 "2009-06-20T01:44:09Z")
> [@Garnasha](#): > > Oh, and moss is a great idea, iirc it absorbs 20 times its own weight in water. . Chiggers live in moss. I’d be careful with that stuff cowboy 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2009, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/90 "2009-06-20T02:37:20Z")
Forget the nettles, grab, twist and yank em loose. He’ll be down for a long time and when he comes too won’t be able to fuck much of anything. ---
**Author:** ![Garnasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d07c76/32.png) [@Garnasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garnasha)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2009, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/91 "2009-06-20T09:34:13Z")
Problem with that is you need to be stronger/quicker than that the would-be rapist. I’m neither very strong nor quick, but strength and speed don’t help against nettles since they a)extend your range and b) hurt regardless of how hard you hit, as long as there’s contact. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/92 "2009-06-22T15:02:49Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > And that’s why the Scots wear kilts. It makes it easier to sneak up on sheep, as they’d hear the zippers otherwise. And the Irish wear kilts because the Scottish have even better hearing than the sheep. ---
**Author:** ![HBKurtzwilde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@HBKurtzwilde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HBKurtzwilde)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/93 "2009-06-24T22:37:33Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > Okay, so the guys have it cut out. The girls… well let’s say we’ve got some sanitary needs where leaves won’t suffice. > > I’m not time-traveling to before the invention of the tampon, either. May a gentleman politely suggest the humble sea sponge as a possible solution? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/94 "2009-06-24T23:08:48Z")
> [@HBKurtzwilde](#): > > May a gentleman politely suggest the humble sea sponge as a possible solution? those things have octopus eggs in them you know 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/95 "2009-06-25T02:39:12Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > And the Irish wear kilts because the Scottish have even better hearing than the sheep. The Irish don’t wear kilts. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/96 "2009-06-25T14:39:22Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > The Irish don’t wear kilts. 😕 Sure they do. Or have, anyway. They’re more of an imported-from-Scotland Celtic-solidarity thing. But kilts used to be standard competition and performance wear for male Irish dancers. They wear bicycle shorts underneath, if anyone was wondering. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856/97 "2009-06-25T20:33:20Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I say we take a couple of summers to plant fruit trees and vegetables in every open space, and then we shut pretty much everything down. > > We just need to keep up enough of modern society to produce and distribute decent pornography. I find your ideas intriguing & would like to subscribe to your newsletter. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-damn-civilization-thing-is-too-complicated/499856.md?page=4)