# This doesn't bode well: fake bagels on day one **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 5, 2009, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934 "2009-01-05T13:18:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tofergregg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tofergregg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tofergregg)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/1 "2009-01-05T13:18:59Z")
I start taking a one-week class this morning, and we were enticed to come early for the “coffee and breakfast snacks.” The coffee is okay, but the bagels are those fake, baked bagels (not boiled) that taste almost like regular bread. Yuck. ---
**Author:** ![seodoa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@seodoa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seodoa)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/2 "2009-01-05T13:24:15Z")
Um, okay? Not sure if this is the right place for your post but, I guess I sympathize with you? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![tofergregg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tofergregg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tofergregg)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/3 "2009-01-05T13:32:12Z")
Oh no! – I thought I was in MPSIMS! Mods, could someone move this? Thanks! -Tofer p.s. This really is mundane, pointless stuff. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/4 "2009-01-05T17:53:35Z")
Just to sympathize, I don’t like those “dinner roll” bagels either. ---
**Author:** ![GilaB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@GilaB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GilaB)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/5 "2009-01-05T18:57:33Z")
They’re not bagels - they’re round bread. If you think of them as rolls, they’ll be less disappointing. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/6 "2009-01-05T19:01:51Z")
I’ve had the “fake bagels” they sell at Costco. Yeah, round bread. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/7 "2009-01-05T19:05:44Z")
OK, I’m a newbie on this subject ,but can someone tell me how to tell the difference? I don’t know how to make bagles. I like them, but I guess I always assumed they were baked. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/8 "2009-01-05T19:25:06Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > OK, I’m a newbie on this subject ,but can someone tell me how to tell the difference? I don’t know how to make bagles. I like them, but I guess I always assumed they were baked. They are baked, but they’re boiled first. [quote=Wikipedia] Bagels are traditionally made by: [ul][li] mixing and kneading the ingredients to form the dough[/li][li] shaping the dough into the traditional bagel shape, round with a hole in the middle[/li][li] proofing the bagels for at least 12 hours at low temperature (40-50 degrees F = 4.5-10°C)[/li][li] boiling each bagel in water that may or may not contain additives such as lye, baking soda, barley malt syrup, or honey[/li][li] baking at between 175°C and 315°C (about 350 to 600 degrees F)[/ul][/li][/quote] ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/9 "2009-01-05T20:48:59Z")
> [@ZenBeam](#): > > Just to sympathize, I don’t like those “dinner roll” bagels either. The people who make these so called “bagels” should without exception be rounded up by the baker’s dozen and shot in the face. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/10 "2009-01-05T20:53:52Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > OK, I’m a newbie on this subject ,but can someone tell me how to tell the difference? I don’t know how to make bagles. I like them, but I guess I always assumed they were baked. When you bite 'em, they fight back. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/11 "2009-01-05T21:38:00Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > OK, I’m a newbie on this subject ,but can someone tell me how to tell the difference? I don’t know how to make bagles. I like them, but I guess I always assumed they were baked. Real bagels have a texture that is much firmer than bread. Fake bagels don’t. If it’s sweet (blueberry, cinnamon-raisin, or whatever), it is not a real bagel, regardless of texture. (Mr. Neville’s Law of Real Bagels) ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/12 "2009-01-05T21:42:16Z")
I know we’re not technically in MPSIMS yet, but, if you say bagel around 50 times in a row, it stops sounding like a word anymore. Try reading along: bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel… bagel. Fun for the whole family. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/13 "2009-01-05T21:45:14Z")
And if you say ladle… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/14 "2009-01-05T21:46:42Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > And if you say ladle… 😃 I’ll get you **pat** , and your little dog too! :eek:😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/15 "2009-01-05T22:00:52Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > I know we’re not technically in MPSIMS yet, but, if you say bagel around 50 times in a row, it stops sounding like a word anymore. > > Try reading along: bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel… bagel. > > Fun for the whole family. mmmm, mushroom bagels. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/16 "2009-01-06T01:18:21Z")
Moving thread from IMHO to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![freekalette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/50afbb/32.png) [@freekalette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freekalette)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/17 "2009-01-06T02:55:55Z")
Hell, I thought you meant _actual_ fake food! As in, for display only. _headdesk_ At least they fed you. “Crepe! Crepe! Ohhhhh, it’s a crepe!” ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/18 "2009-01-06T04:31:49Z")
> [@freekalette](#): > > “Crepe! Crepe! Ohhhhh, it’s a crepe!” Christ this had me laughing like a loon! Thx! Obligatory link for the one human who hasn’t seen this: [www.badgerbadgerbadger.com](http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com) ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-bode-well-fake-bagels-on-day-one/479934/19 "2009-01-06T22:05:19Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > If it’s sweet (blueberry, cinnamon-raisin, or whatever), it is not a real bagel, regardless of texture. (Mr. Neville’s Law of Real Bagels) I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter. I too, have always maintained that if I wanted a sweet bagel, I’d buy a donut instead. And they should not be fluffy, either.