# This doesn't work. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 16, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309 "2005-08-16T19:25:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/1 "2005-08-16T19:25:59Z")
[activate] : wait : : tap : : tap : :tap : _nothing_ What the…Oh! Maybe if I do _this_. No. Um … Hey! Yeah, you! Hey, can you help me with this thing? I can’t seem to make it work. ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/2 "2005-08-16T19:33:20Z")
Have you tried jiggling the thingummy? ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/3 "2005-08-16T19:34:33Z")
Whatever you do, don’t stick a paperclip in . . . _there_. Oh. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/4 "2005-08-16T19:35:22Z")
I see the problem. I’ll just reach in and **bzzzzt blap _AIEEEEEE!!!_** ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/5 "2005-08-16T19:36:25Z")
:sigh: Have you already forgotten what I showed you last week? And the week before? Sorry buddy, you’re on your own this time. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/6 "2005-08-16T19:38:30Z")
From a Security standpoint, it looks like you should have the proper access to perform this task. If you are unable to get this to work, you should contact the Help Desk so they can open a ticket with the Widget Support Group. Thanks Ethilrist tracking number: Gx75$22&& ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/7 "2005-08-16T19:41:25Z")
Is it plugged in? Is the on/off switch in the ON position? Do you have power in the house? ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/8 "2005-08-16T19:52:09Z")
You forgot to pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster before beginning, didn’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/9 "2005-08-16T19:56:24Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > You forgot to pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster before beginning, didn’t you? This is the LX 2.7/a edition. Ass. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/10 "2005-08-16T19:57:06Z")
See, _that’s_ what happens when you go with a lowest-bidder contract. You could have easily avoided this problem by buying from **Hal’s House Of Thingamabobs**! ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/11 "2005-08-16T19:58:17Z")
Well, obviously you haven’t tried KICKING it yet. Here, let me show you. _KICK_ _Crash_ Ow. Think I broke my toe. Now you have a lawsuit on your hands too. ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/12 "2005-08-16T19:58:50Z")
My years of training and experience tell me that you should reboot. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/13 "2005-08-16T20:00:35Z")
Did you push the any key? ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/14 "2005-08-16T20:02:14Z")
Turn it off and turn it back on. Or try blowing on it. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/15 "2005-08-16T20:03:06Z")
Is that the one I sold you? Because, uh…well…see, I was having the same problems, but I **swear** it was acting right before I sold it to you… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/16 "2005-08-16T20:04:42Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > I see the problem. I’ll just reach in and **bzzzzt blap _AIEEEEEE!!!_** Umm… **pinkfreud** can you hear me? Oh shit guys, she ain’t movin’. You may have killed her! It looks like she just reached in here and **bzzzzt blap AIEEEEEE!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/17 "2005-08-16T20:08:57Z")
> [@Nic2004](#): > > > [@pinkfreud](#): > > > > I see the problem. I’ll just reach in and **bzzzzt blap AIEEEEEE!!!** > > Umm… **pinkfreud** can you hear me? > Oh shit guys, she ain’t movin’. You may have killed her! > It looks like she just reached in here and **bzzzzt blap AIEEEEEE!!!** OK, _nobody move_!!! I know CPR!! Let me just get close to **Nic2004** and apply the **bzzzzt blap AIEEEEEE!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/18 "2005-08-16T20:09:36Z")
: nonchalontly nudges the bodies into the kitchen & closes the kitchen door. : ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/19 "2005-08-16T20:10:03Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > OK, _nobody move_!!! I know CPR!! > > Let me just get close to **Nic2004** and apply the **bzzzzt blap AIEEEEEE!!!** ::whistling and sneaking away…:: ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/20 "2005-08-16T20:11:59Z")
> [@Nic2004](#): > > Umm… **pinkfreud** can you hear me? > Oh shit guys, she ain’t movin’. You may have killed her! > It looks like she just reached in here and **bzzzzt blap AIEEEEEE!!!** Uh oh… Two dead bodies. I’ll just hide them in here and **bzzzzt blap AIEEEEEE!!!** [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309.md?page=2)