# This doesn't work. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 16, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309 "2005-08-16T19:25:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/21 "2005-08-16T20:15:41Z")
You wouldn’t be having these problems in the first place if you’d bought a Mac like I told you to. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/22 "2005-08-16T20:49:28Z")
Hmm, what have we here? Dead Dopers. Well. Best take care of that before any of the mods see. :: revives **pinkfreud** , **Nic2004** , **Ponder Stibbons** , and **Strinka** :: Now, as to **Inigo Montoya** ’s problem. :: looks over the problem area :: Well, here’s your problem. You need to change this here. :: fiddles :: And reconnect these two. :: tweaks :: And then reinitialize. :: adjusts :: There you go, good as new. You’ll get my bill in the mail. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/23 "2005-08-16T20:50:23Z")
But it’s not supposed to do THAT! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/24 "2005-08-16T20:54:52Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > But it’s not supposed to do THAT! That’s not a bug…it’s a feature. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/25 "2005-08-16T20:57:30Z")
Try reversing the polarity. ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/26 "2005-08-16T21:02:01Z")
Does it have any wang in it? ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/27 "2005-08-16T21:03:33Z")
**Inigo Montoya** ,you killed me and **Nic2004** and **Ponder Stibbons** and **Strinka**. Prepare to die. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/28 "2005-08-16T21:11:36Z")
Have any of you tried looking at the directions? It’s right here. _For to operate most efficioently insert 2 AA batteries as shown in the accompanient illustration, caring to insert them in the appropriate fashion. Then commence by pressing lightly button maked “A” on accompanient illustration. Thencewise pressing Up/Down button upwardly or downwardly as need fits. Being so careful not to press up/down button both upwardly and downwardly at time period simultaneous. Conclude by pressing switch in anticlockwise rotation._ ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/29 "2005-08-16T21:17:20Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#): > > Try reversing the polarity. But don’t cross the streams. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/30 "2005-08-16T21:20:29Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > **Inigo Montoya** ,you killed me and **Nic2004** and **Ponder Stibbons** and **Strinka**. Prepare to die. 😃 … I got better. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/31 "2005-08-16T21:21:39Z")
You need to rub it with oil. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/32 "2005-08-16T21:22:29Z")
No, no, not like that! Here, use the _hydrospanner_… ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/33 "2005-08-16T21:22:33Z")
You can’t get Outlook to open? Sorry, but it is policy that we don’t take requests over the phone. Send an email to [blackhole@techsupport.com](mailto:blackhole@techsupport.com) and we’ll issue a work order. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/34 "2005-08-16T21:24:48Z")
_MOVE!!_ ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/35 "2005-08-16T21:26:48Z")
I’m sure that you have already read and memorized the owners manual and tried all their “troubleshooting” options. My guess is you will have to make a direct call (no 800 number here) to the tech support in India. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Marathon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Marathon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marathon)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/36 "2005-08-16T21:30:02Z")
[This will fix it, of course.](http://blog.tmcnet.com/blog/tom-keating/images/duct-tape-roll.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2005, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/37 "2005-08-16T21:44:18Z")
If at first you don’t succeed, remove all evidence you tried. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/38 "2005-08-17T01:11:44Z")
Put some hair around it! [/drunk] ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/39 "2005-08-17T01:59:35Z")
If it can’t be fixed with WD-40, duct tape, and/or a good swift kick, you’re own your own. You didn’t save the receipt, did you? ---
**Author:** ![Mgcklmoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Mgcklmoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mgcklmoon)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2005, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/40 "2005-08-17T02:11:53Z")
No, no, no, no…You don’t even need _that_ . What you really need is a Super Hypertubinator!! That will fix all of your problems!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309.md?page=3)