# This doesn't work. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 16, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309 "2005-08-16T19:25:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/81 "2005-08-19T19:21:22Z")
> [@Saltire](#): > > All of that works better if you reroute the power through the deflector dish. I think we lost the deflector dish that came with it. Someone rigged up this new one, but I’m not sure that it’ll work. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/82 "2005-08-19T19:38:43Z")
I think you can get a cheaper one on eBay. Always best to start over. Usually. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/83 "2005-08-19T19:56:31Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > I think we lost the deflector dish that came with it. Someone rigged up this new one, but I’m not sure that it’ll work. I’m not sure a paper plate with a pencil poked through it mounted via duct tape is going to work all that well as a deflector dish … :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![TygerDralion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e19adc/32.png) [@TygerDralion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TygerDralion)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/84 "2005-08-19T20:01:18Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > I’m not sure a paper plate with a pencil poked through it mounted via duct tape is going to work all that well as a deflector dish … :dubious: That’s not the deflector dish, that’s the particle accelerator! DUH! ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/85 "2005-08-19T20:15:25Z")
> [@LucyInDisguise](#): > > :three piece suit consultant walks out with check, trying not to smirk: 😃 [Consulting](http://www.despair.com/consulting.html): If you’re not part of the solution, there is good money to be made in prolonging the problem. > [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > I’m not sure a paper plate with a pencil poked through it mounted via duct tape is going to work all that well as a deflector dish … [Ren] "Don’t Touch It! It’s the History Eraser Button, you fool! [/Ren] ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/86 "2005-08-19T20:18:11Z")
> [@5que](#): > > [Ren] > "Don’t Touch It! It’s the History Eraser Button, you fool! > [/Ren] BBBZZZZZTTTT! What was this thread about, again? ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/87 "2005-08-19T20:42:54Z")
Oops, sorry I’m late! **This thread may be recorded for quality control purposes.** Um, did you know your power strip/surge suppressor is plugged into itself? No, not **its elf,** this has nothing to do with elves. No, I am not an elfist. My secretary is an elf. I’m talking about your power strip. Is it plugged into the wall? No, wait, that really skinny wire is for your telepho ---
**Author:** ![akira5822](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@akira5822](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akira5822)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/88 "2005-08-19T21:02:57Z")
Open the pod bay doors please Hal, 😛 ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/89 "2005-08-19T21:23:47Z")
It’s definitely not going to work without the keys. Where are the keys? ---
**Author:** ![Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cornelius_Tuggerson)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/90 "2005-08-19T21:38:31Z")
Hey wait a second I think I can see the problem… Whats that dial-like thing-a-majig over there? I thought they are only supposed to go up to ten… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/91 "2005-08-19T21:49:30Z")
> [@akira5822](#): > > Open the pod bay doors please Hal, 😛 Why, do you think that there’s… :: opens pod bay doors :: …Oooo…wouldya lookit that. Hey guys, I think we may have found the problem. Looks like we got a buncha 'possums making a nest in here. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/92 "2005-08-19T22:05:51Z")
Don’t touch them! That’s what we replaced the hamsters with!! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/93 "2005-08-19T22:40:28Z")
Um…guys? There’s a mob of angry hamsters coming down the hall with a weasel and a snake - I mean, lawyer and union representative… _ow!_ Stop that! I’m kidding! ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/94 "2005-08-20T00:10:09Z")
I works fine for me. Just make sure you squeeze the digital manipulator and keep it in line with the muffler bearing. Here, let me show you… bzzzzt blap AIEEEEEE!!! Ehhh, whoops. ---
**Author:** ![Roma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Roma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roma)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/95 "2005-08-20T04:01:48Z")
Hello, you have reached Tech Support. Please hold… ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/96 "2005-08-20T04:07:57Z")
All right, stand back, make way, move aside, certified goddess coming through… _jostle, shove, etc_ A swift arrow up the–_cough_ in the right place should do it! _draws bow_ _fires_ _the entire thing suddenly shakes violently and starts lumbering around_ Um… guys, this is about where I’d suggest we run very, very fast… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/97 "2005-08-20T04:19:48Z")
Whisky has solved most of my problems. So, we pour whisky on this thing, and… ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/98 "2005-08-20T04:48:32Z")
Configured with: …/gcc-3.2.1/configure --prefix=/usr/local/gcc-3.2.1 –enable-threads=posix Thread model: posix gcc version 3.2.1 ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/99 "2005-08-20T04:56:03Z")
> [@Roma](#): > > Hello, you have reached Tech Support. > Please hold… Your call is very important to us. Please continue to hold and a representative will be with you shortly. Your estimated wait time is /in excess of/ 15 minutes… ---
**Author:** ![Roma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Roma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roma)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309/100 "2005-08-20T05:01:12Z")
> [@jellyblue](#): > > Your call is very important to us. Please continue to hold and a representative will be with you shortly. Your estimated wait time is /in excess of/ 15 minutes… [hold music] Tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree It’s been three long years – do you still want me? If I don’t see a ribbon round the old oak tree I’ll stay on the bus, forget about us, [/hold music] OH GOD MAKE IT STOP… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-doesnt-work/317309.md?page=6)